Jmina Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I don't exactly know where to post this, because i guess it can come under a few subjects... but mainly the topic is about fate and the love between two beings - not necessarily romantic. I also don't know how else to explain this other than just pasting what i have written in my journal entry. So here it is, and if you have any particular view on it please post back, maybe you have pushed your fate, or waited to see how it happens - i don't know what to do. " I am grateful for the care of the universe that I received going through the break up. I am grateful now for being forced into dealing with a much longer time apart than i had first hoped for. I am grateful for not having a chance to contact her it has made me stronger and appreciate the things I have gained and only would have gained being apart. I really feel that we will come face to face again one day, maybe even soon and I think it will be okay. I think we will be glad, and I think we will be able to understand it better. I don’t want a relationship and i know my ex doesnt either, and i think that is why it will be okay. I am sure I would feel that I would be going backwards or settling for 2nd best if we tried it again. It would be 2nd best because I wouldn’t trust my ex to stay forever. That isn’t good enough for either of us. I wish for my ex to take the correct path whatever that may be and for me to be able to accept what ever happens. Is it right to manipulate the situation by say, turning up at the same place my ex is at? Or writing things into my face book that i think my ex might read? if she views it in the first place. Is this forcing events that might never happen if i let it be?If I turned up somewhere it might be a year two early to what the universe had planned and so I come across another rollercoaster and lessons (hard) but well learned. Maybe it would turn out just how I wanted? Maybe all i really want is to let my ex know how much i have been hurting - and that isn't a good enough reason.. What if taking the initiative in my fate was a risk that some talk about taking, because you never know if you don't try? How do you know what is right, and is the risk worth taking? After writing this entry, and reading it and thinking about it, i know i'm not in a place to even truley consider turning up at the same place as my ex mainly because it is coming from my deeper emotions of hurt, and even pining. I realise that maybe when i feel that i have felt every emotion there is to feel, and gone through all my healing that i dont even feel the need to force fate anymore. & and if it's going to happen it will... but when people decide to take their own action and it turns out a positive thing, would it still have happened anyway?? Thanks for reading my confused thoughts i appreciate your help!!
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