officegirl Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Hi everyone, My question is simple. When is it time to throw in the towel? I'm thinking of ending my relationship. We've been seeing each other all year. He seems to really like me. Actually, I know he really likes me but I just don't think he'll ever open up to me. I have a hard time opening up too but the difference between us is that he thinks things in the relationship are fine and right on track. I don't know which one of us is right. But if one of us wants to be closer and the other thinks the pace is just right, there's a problem. I have as many questions as he does. We haven't said I love you yet. Which is fine considering the state of things. But I really want to spend time with him so that we can figure it out. He seems to prefer to "hang out". Usually, our time together involves other people. This weekend past for example, we went on a trip together to see a game. Had fun at the game and I was really looking forward to maybe grabbing a few drinks together and then going back to the hotel and spending some real one on one time. Well, after the game, we went out for a few drinks that turned into him talking to old friends that he ran into/invited out. He started ordering shots and ended up getting pretty drunk. We made it back to the hotel at 3:00am and the special evening I had been looking forward to, ended with me taking care of him and helping him to bed. I ended up ordering room service and watching Britcoms while he was passed out. Needless to say, when I got his email this morning telling me how much of a fantastic weekend he had with me, I just sighed to myself. Thinking, wow. We really see this relationship differently. I don't know how to express what a disappointment is was to me without sounding like I'm hard to please. I'm just a little over it. I like him but I'm feeling like there's just so much left to be desired and I'm really sad right now. Thanks for reading.
backspacectrl Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 IMO, you should tell him how you feel in whatever way you can. you should be honest and say your needs are not being met. if you dont talk to him about it you might (down the line) wonder if things could have worked out, but if you talk to him at least you would have tryed. its time to let go when your feelings wont grow stronger for the other person(because of past things).
Author officegirl Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 i just don't think he's the talking type. I think he'd prefer to go on about things and pretend nothing's wrong. For instance, just got off of IM with him and he was telling me how "hot" my "saucy" behavior was yesterday on the ride home. It wasn't saucy, it was cold and unloving. His head is up his ass. God, and I have to wait until Wednesday to do this. Which means I have to figure out how to act until then... this sucks. sucks. sucks. sucks. oh and another sucky thing. his birthday is on Tuesday next week. I
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. He should be doing stuff with you one-on-one he should want to do that, he should want to spend a night out with you and in with you afterwards because you're just so great. Goddamn, lose him...
Author officegirl Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 As the day goes on, I really do feel like it just has to be done. How horrible is it to dump a guy less than a week before his birthday?
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 As the day goes on, I really do feel like it just has to be done. How horrible is it to dump a guy less than a week before his birthday? How horrible is it to be in a relationship with a girl for a year and not tell her you love her?
Author officegirl Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 Oh wow. this is really hard to get through. I've been consumed by this horrible sadness for the past 2 days. I will see him tomorrow and most likely will break things off. I'm just so sad. I know that he can tell that something's up. But he's ignoring it and me. Usually, I get all these sweet nothings during the day. I'm not being distant to get a reaction out of him, I just don't know how to talk to him right now without being distant. None the less, as stupid as it sounds, it feels crappy that he hasn't even asked me what's wrong. I'm at work and I can't concentrate at all.
backspacectrl Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 you have the right to be happy and as much as it sucks ull get through it and he will get over it. both of you will be happy in the long run. maybe its for the best. you should be able to talk to him. even if its not something he wants to talk about you should be able to say whatever is on ur mind to your SO. better comuication will help, so that your not letting this type of thing build up and eat away your insides. let him know where the relationship faults made it clear you werent meant for eachother, it has been a year? so maybe that would be a nice way to end it (even though he wouldnt relize it but u would be helping him in the long run).
Recommended Posts