my girlfriend cant but flirt with other guys and shes been kissed several times!

[naddannad]

Look im not some over protective cling on type guy - but i am her boyfriend - and as most boyfriends will admit - they do like to protect ther woman - its natrual!

- History - We've been together 9 months -

she is from enlgland but lived in spain since she was two - and recently moved back (Sort of) - its very complicated.

 

- well wen we started out - we wer great - always flirtin - unattachable!

but after ,maybe 5 months the flirtin cooled off - as ud expect - but i didnt expect her to start it with other guys. like not major but still - guys got the wrong idea and several tried to make moves on her!

 

well recently we wer at a huge camp of about 15000 people - all round about our age :S - obviously i got more protective and worried - and she kept sayin to me - cool it off - ur jus keepin an eye on me - u dont trust me n all that - n my trust had already been damaged from her flirtin before camp. But it was everyone else in my opinion i didnt trust.

 

Well as the week went on - our group of friends murged with another - of jus guys - and yes she got flirty with them - took numbers - textin them about stuff she wouldnt evn tell me. goin off to talk to them - for hugs n things where she thought i wudnt no. n she made me feel so bad for lookin out for her - and askin her not to flirt so much.

 

and on the second to last day - we are all in a big tent type thing - and one of the guys is like leaning on her lap while she is massaging him ... for 20 minutes! i mean ye 2 minutes fine - but 20! and i sed to her l8r on about how it made me feel and she jus kicked off- about wantin a break and all that.

 

and so we agreed that id leave her alone until the next morning on the coach.

 

well that nite we wer all out together - me stayin away from her - and i still c her textin them etc. and she seemed ok so i said - you ok? can i hav a hug ? n she agreed and we carried the nite on - me thinkin that things wer now ok rite? well l8r on i said good night as she went to her tent and then i got surspicious. - cuz id say good nite - n then id go to the toilets n ther shed stil be out with a friend ? so i said oh ur still up lol - and say goodnight again. and then again id c her - out of her tent again? (by the way i wasnt spying - i was in our groups main tent - with the other group we'd murged with).

 

and she eventually went to bed but her friend came in the main tent as wel. -

 

anyway it got to about 4 and i said cum on guys lets go to bed. so everyone cleared off, and i went to bed too.

 

well this is the main thing - . about 5 am - i get my girlfriend come into my tent and lie with me - im thinkin - ok she's forgiven me and she wants a cuddle - i lean over for a kiss - but she says no? im like oh - well anyway i fall asleep and she left at about 6. in the mornin im packin my tent down and she comes to me, and says sorry. im like wat for?

 

well that nite after id gone to bed - her friend went n got her - n she and the guys went back to ther camp and all got into ther tent. --- And yes - she kissed a guy - twice - not a big kiss jus a kiss. - and she sed that they stoped cuz it felt wrong ( like that makes me feel better) - but she didnt like leave she stayed ther for longer.! and i told her its over etc etc - but she cried her eyes out tellin me how sorry she was and that she loved me. and i said i need time - i dont no if its worng but on the coach ride home - an hour in - after talkin i took her back - but could not kiss her on them lips straight away. i think maybe i was to soft?

 

anyway 4 days on - she gets upset with me for still bein :S about it all , n im like well yes . n she tried to turn it.

 

and to add to things - my family and friends somehow found out about wat went on - i had agreed with her not to tell anyone cuz of the shame etc - so now she is upset with me for not explaining to them that it was just to kisses and nothing more, n as we all would be - she is ashamed to see my family etc .. ( before she and my family were like gr8 together - she'd hav girl chats n hugs with my mum n sisters and shed hav a laf with my dad) but now she feels that cant happen - and i want it to i really do cuz ive forgiven her in away- jus my trust is affected.

 

well anyway somehow this is all my fault now or so it feels - although family n friends think im crazy for takin her back.

 

but still - wat do i do! - shud i finish it ?

 

before u decide u shud no that she had such a bad childhood - i cant say why but its serious and my dision affects wether she goes back to live in spain (complete hell for her) or stays here (complete shame and family rules) but still

 

i feel like all i do is to make her life easier and happier - and ive us become a depressed mess.

 

WAT DO I DO - WAT SHOULD I SAY!?! - I LOVE HER BUT DO I TRUST HER?

I TOLD HER NOT TO FLIRT - SHE SNUCK OUT BEHIND MY BACK - LET ALONE THE KISS! wat do i do . please help.

[JoeNewbie]

I say dump her now.

[bish]

naddannad,

 

 

ditch her. She goes beyond flirting. There is absolutely NO excuse she can come up with for kissing guys, giving them massages, and enjoying the superfluous physical contact with other men.

 

I wouldn't put up with it if I were you. Then again, I wouldn't be staying with an attention wh0re like this.

[JohnnyBlaze]

I LOVE HER BUT DO I TRUST HER?

If you have to ask, the answer is 'no'.

 

It sucks that she had a bad childhood, but that's not your fault, nor is it your problem. If she has issues to work out, there are professionals who make a living from it; they're called shrinks. If you take her back as is, every time the two of you go anywhere, you're always going to be keeping one eye on her. What she's doing is going beyond innocent flirting. Getting into a relationship with someone is supposed to allow you to lower your guard, not raise it further.

 

If I were you, I'd tell her to have a safe flight back to Spain. Regardless of her situation, if it's making you miserable, then you shouldn't be in the relation. Plain and simple.

[Enema]

Was this a rave or something with lots of drugs flying around?

 

At any rate, you have to decide for yourself what you're willing to put up with. You can't change other people, you can only change yourself.

 

That's who she is and clearly she doesn't see anything wrong with the level of flirting she's doing.

 

Me personally, I would have dumped her a looong time ago.

[rod_in_gtown]

Sorry to tell you this mate but this girl sounds like she's a lot more trouble than she's worth. From your description she seems very young, if not physically then definitely emotionally. She purposefully told you she wanted a break so that you would go away and she could do what she wanted from the beginning, kiss another guy, not only this is coniving but she's testing to see how much she can abuse you before you will react.

 

Truth is, there are many great women out there who would do anything to be with a considerate and respectful guy like you seem to be.

 

Drop the twat and find someone who will respect you and your relationship. This one is clearly damaged goods.

 

Also, on the whole "damaged childhood" issue, your job is not to rescue her or save her. She needs to learn to find the help she needs and stand on her own two feet before she can think about being in a symbiotic relationship. She's not ready for you and if you let her, she'll always depend on your kindness to get her way and not help herself.

[nopainnogain]

What a manipulative punk ! classic broad turned fraud . Tell her to take a hike

[Angel1111]

She must think you're a complete idiot. Well whatever she thinks, she definitely has no respect for you. You need to lose this girl fast. She is pathetic.