honour and trust Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I just need to express myself and explain how I'm feeling. So I've been involved in a ping-pong of a relationship with a self-centered man for almost four years. I absolutely love him with all of his faults and all. For the last month I've seriously been trying to step away from him. I've found NC to be extremely difficult so I've been telling him that I'm dating and have been trying to keep busy. In a previous post I posed the question, Is he just not that into me? Of course majority of the posts said that he wasn't. The posts were a true slap of reality so I've been taking great strides to move away from him. I'm in so much pain and confusion. If he's just not that into me, why won't he leave me alone? Why does he keep me around? Honestly, men if you aren't going to treat a woman right then why not let her be? If you aren't going to be what she deserves then why would you continue to make sure she doesn't stray? I just don't know what to think! In my mind I hope that he would come around after he grows up but what are the chances he wants a future with me? Here's a short recap...I'm involved with this guy who I met about 4 years ago. We were friends then we dated. We broke up then I found out that he was with an ex-girlfriend which then I found out that he and his ex had kept in touch during our stint of a relationship. Since then him and his ex have seperated once again. He doesn't want to be in a relationship. He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship but we talk regularly and go on dates and such. Everytime I ask about us being together he says you never know what may happen. So...why invest time in someone? Why keep someone around? I walk away and pulls at me...why?! I just need help making sense of it all!!!!
nowhereman82 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 He is using you to feel better when he is feeling lonely or needs a ego boost. He either isn't into you that much or has commitment issues.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Because most men are selfcentered, and they need a girl around to make themselves feel better. If you don't want to see him again, one click and he's deleted. The thing is you have to stop wondering why he does the things he does, rather what you can do to make yourself feel better.
BCCA Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Because most men are selfcentered, and they need a girl around to make themselves feel better. If you don't want to see him again, one click and he's deleted. The thing is you have to stop wondering why he does the things he does, rather what you can do to make yourself feel better. I know men get labeled as the biggest abusers here, but as some one who went through the same thing with a couple ex's, women do it too. To answer your question, it helps them get over you. If he can call for sex, some one to talk to, etc and then walk away, what does that tell you? He isnt interested in YOU he's interested in things YOU provided. You see the worst out of people after a relationship. Once theyve decided that youre not worth any effort, your value to them decreases considerably. Let him walk, dont contact him. If he wants to make an effort, he will, but take a close look at any efforts he does make.
selena_cat Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I totlally agree that most men are self centered, i know people say hey women do it too, but why is it thatthey go after Biotches instead of nice girls ,instead they use them and discard them but lo and behold they cant stop talking about that certain ex that didnt give a crap about them,i know not one but two men whose obbsessed w/their exes but have dogged nice women, soryry if i get naysayers but hey thats whats seem to be happening Because most men are selfcentered, and they need a girl around to make themselves feel better. If you don't want to see him again, one click and he's deleted. The thing is you have to stop wondering why he does the things he does, rather what you can do to make yourself feel better.
You'reasian Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Because most men are selfcentered, and they need a girl around to make themselves feel better. If you don't want to see him again, one click and he's deleted. The thing is you have to stop wondering why he does the things he does, rather what you can do to make yourself feel better. I would say people are selfcentered - happens both ways, right?
verve Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Definatley happens both ways, I wouldn't say one sex is more selfish or loving than the other. Depends on the individual.
BCCA Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I totlally agree that most men are self centered, i know people say hey women do it too, but why is it thatthey go after Biotches instead of nice girls ,instead they use them and discard them but lo and behold they cant stop talking about that certain ex that didnt give a crap about them,i know not one but two men whose obbsessed w/their exes but have dogged nice women, soryry if i get naysayers but hey thats whats seem to be happening Why do women always say they want to meet a nice guy, then proceed to crap all over him and move on when they do, finding their way back to a jerk? Its people, not men/women. People, in general, are selfish.
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