sunshinegirl Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 My ex didn't initially apologize for cheating on me, or lying to me. 15 minutes into the conversation where I found everything out, I suddenly said - you haven't even said you're sorry for it! To which he said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I could say I'm sorry 10 times and it wouldn't change anything." SO defensive. SO unable to understand the hurt he'd caused despite the fact that he's been cheated on. His lame I'm sorry at the time meant nothing. I would like to get a real apology but I have a feeling he is too cowardly to ever initiate contact with me to offer one - even if he does feel real remorse one day. Frankly, I'm not sure he can feel remorse - he is an abnormally closed person who doesn't experience feelings the way most people do. (A bad risk for a long-term relationship, by the way!!!)
sumdude Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Well I did get some apologies a year later from my ex wife... about how things ended (total deception and possibly an affair)... that at one time I was the love of her life... that we couldn't 'reach each other'. I can't say it helped much, but at least a little I guess. Still doesn't change anything that happened, I would never have done those things to her. Forgiveness is something I give her for myself.. which she doesn't really need to know about. I know I had apologized early in the separation for things I could have done better, ways I could have been a better husband.. I meant it but at that point the damage was done.
ahhhchooo Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I received a few apologies but none of them meant anything. Laced with dishonesties and words that gave hope for the future, they are prolonging the sorrow
nopainnogain Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 apoliges are like having sex for the first time with a new love intrest............... you got pick the right time and place for it or it wont mean jack sheeeit
m00nstone Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Apologies... I guess I've been on both ends of them. And from either end, apologies are really just words if there aren't some actions to back them up. When my ex did his bad thing, he apologized, but I didn't forgive him for months. A little while ago, I did my bad thing, and I apologized, but I know, from being on the other side of the situation, that I need to give him time to see that I really do mean it. Sorry is nice, but not doing it again is a genuine "I'm sorry."
Author ioncebelieved Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 Sorry is nice, but not doing it again is a genuine "I'm sorry." That is exactly right!!!! For some reason yesterday I was thinking about all the times my ex said sorry I hurt you, sorry I did this or that and after thinking about it, regardless how meaningful or heartfelt she may have been while issuing the apologies....in retrospect, they all do not mean jack!!!!! But you are so right!! Not doing it again or stringing me along would have been a genuine, I am sorry. Great point indeed!!!!
wareagle Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 From now on when someone say's I'm sorry I hurt you or wronged you, I will not be listening to the words, but looking at their actions following their words! If I would have done this a long time ago I wouldn't be where I am at now!!
Author ioncebelieved Posted August 26, 2008 Author Posted August 26, 2008 From now on when someone say's I'm sorry I hurt you or wronged you, I will not be listening to the words, but looking at their actions following their words! If I would have done this a long time ago I wouldn't be where I am at now!! Me too!!! Instead of over analyzing their words, I will analyze their actions!!!
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