sunflower745 Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 So I've been talking and going out with this for a while now. He's really sweet and everything so I told him that I too like him. Now, he just tells me all the time that he's falling for me or that he feels lonely and things like that. The more I've gotten to know him I just realized I don't like him as a possible boyfriend only as a friend. I don't know how to tell him. This has happened a few times before with other guys and they just stop talking to me and don't even care to remain friends. I'm scared what might happened but I have to tell him at some point...PLEASE SOME ADVICE!!!!!!
Yamaha Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Why would he want to be just a friend? If he still has romantic feelings then you just need to tell him you don't want to date him and you wish he finds someone that returns his feelings. Women just want to keep a guy around that knows likes them for what? ego stroke. You can't make someone be your friend if they want more so just tell him and let him find someone else. Why do you want to keep someone around that wants more than friends?
Balthazar Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I agree with Yamaha. It is not easy to be friends with someone who wants to be lovers. And it really is unfair to the one who has the romantic feelings. Thus, it is best to just let it go as friendship can be found elsewhere without the risk of breaking hearts. CHeers,
Author sunflower745 Posted August 24, 2008 Author Posted August 24, 2008 I guess I'll never have guy friends since all they want is to be more than friends. It's not my freaking fault!! I'm scared of losing a friend. and no it's not an ego thing. If there's something about me it's that I'm not conceited or any o that sh*t. Though I probably should be...still lose anyway.
SilkLeaves Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I was recently in a similar situation. Tell him that he's a nice guy, but you're not interested in more with him, and that you want him to move on and find someone who feels the same about him. Say there's no chance of you falling for him in the future, so he shouldn't cling to any hope. If you still want a friendship with him, take a step back for a few months and limit contact. After that, try and get back into the friendship. It is possible but not easy. You just need to give him time to cool off and get over you. If he wasn't so clingy and dramatic about this whole thing, would you be interested?
Yamaha Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I guess I'll never have guy friends since all they want is to be more than friends. It's not my freaking fault!! I'm scared of losing a friend. and no it's not an ego thing. If there's something about me it's that I'm not conceited or any o that sh*t. Though I probably should be...still lose anyway. No one is saying it's your fault. You can't help it that you don't have feelings for him and he can't help it if he does ( unless he just wants sex then he isn't even your friend ). Would you stick around with a guy you liked but he just wanted to be a friend and buddy? My advice is to end the dating before you care. If you know he isn't a potential bf then let him go and don't try to turn it into a friendship. Having a guy friend is hard unless you have know him for years or you both have no physical attraction. You want a gf but it was this guy who approached you and asked you for a date. He didn't ask you for friendship. You decided that after you determined he was not want you are looking for. Maybe after you guys have some time apart and he finds someone else he might want a friendship with you (if he cares for you). Let him know you will be around if he wants a friendship but you realize he needs time to let his feelings die and find someone else for a love connection.
Balthazar Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I guess I'll never have guy friends since all they want is to be more than friends. It's not my freaking fault!! I'm scared of losing a friend. and no it's not an ego thing. If there's something about me it's that I'm not conceited or any o that sh*t. Though I probably should be...still lose anyway. Unfortunately, beauty has its disadvantages. But I'm sure you'll cope.
Mako482 Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Whatever you do just make it clear to him there is nothing there, no romantic interest. The worse thing you can do is leave him hanging. It is going to hurt him, there is no way around that, just make it a swift and clean cut. Sounds mean but he will get over you and move on much faster that way.
EYECANDY000 Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 If you two have a bond and are able to stay platonic then I dont see a problem, Ive had a few situations, where I wanted to remain friends and the guy always said that they would rTher not talk to me at all because it would be hard to just be friends. And Ive been in a situation where the shoe was on the other foot. I wanted to be with someone and they wanted to be friends. And guess what? I didnt want to be friends, and I found myself telling this person " if they ever wanted to talk , Id be here.. But I wont put up a facade , and holding my feelings in. So, the best thing to do is just tell him you want to be friends. Dont waste your time and his. Dont force yourself to like someone, it just happens naturally.
Author sunflower745 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 Yeah actually it has happened to me where my ex just wanted to remain friends and I was ok with it. I still liked him but eventually it went away. Maybe if he wasn't too clingy like SilkLeaves says I would probably think differently but I don't know. Why is it always like this? Stupid love crap ha ha ha!! Anyway, thanks for all who responded.
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