InquiringMind Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I recently started dating Walter after this fwb ended between me and a co-worker.When I started talking to Walter (another guy I work with), I thought, and still think he's quite nice and he smiles a lot. I will like to mention that I am 31 years old and he just turned 43. That's more than 10 years age difference. I thought that since my fwb, who is three years older than me, was not as mature as I wanted, maybe Walter would be better suitable for my life. I know age shouldn't really matter, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm making a huge mistake with this guy. We swapped numbers on two different occasions. The first time we stopped talking was for the same reason that I'm irritated by this time. I didn't tell him why I lost interest the first time, though. I made a second attempt with him because I wanted to at least try at getting to know him. We've been spending time talking and going places together this second time around versus just the phone conversations the first time. We didn't argue the first time, but I think I realize he has a habbit, a bad habbit that I'm trying to understand. We've been arguing over silly things. The last couple of times we argued, it was about him accusing me of not paying attention to him. I told him that just because I ask him to repeat the question or I say "huh?" sometimes when he say something to me doesn't mean I'm not paying attention. In fact, I was indeed paying attention both times, and even paying attention the other times he accused me, except one time that I could remember that I wasn't paying attention. Now, about the last two times we argued about me paying attention, one time it sounded as if he was mumbling into the phone, and the last occasion I could hear the outside while he was driving, as if he had his window down, so I didn't understand what he said. If I was guilty of not paying attention, I'd not have a problem with his assumptions or accusations, but because I knew I was paying attention, it bothers me that he makes such accusations---more than once, more than twice, more than three times! If I couldn't hear it, I couldn't hear it. Another thing he does is assume that I'm accusing him. When he says something to me like: (an example) "you're young." And I respond by saying something like: "I'm all adult, I thought you knew". Just meaning as something flirty or funny, he responds with: "I didn't say you weren't, I was just joking." I know the comment alone doesn't seem much harsh, but when just about everything I say, he responds with the same thing... "I didn't say that, I was just joking..." or "I didn't say that..." it becomes irritating. Once he called and I answered with a "yes" in a tone that, to me, sounded, and was meant to be taken as a seductive tone of voice, he responds with "Why you have to say 'yes'? That sounds like you don't want to talk to me or you're tired of me." Another time I thought was odd was when I looked at him and smiled because he makes me smile, he asked me why am I smiling. Wtf! This may come off as lil petty stuff to some of you, but it means a lot to me, to say I'm in the Getting-to-know-each-other process. IS this something I should ignore and learn to get alone with, or should I just let it go? I've already told him that I don't like being falsely accused. I even sent him a hint of how he sound when he keeps saying "I didn't say that..." There's too much of him telling me what he didn't say. So basically he tries to make it seem as if I'm lying about paying attention, he also clearly wants to make me out to be an accuser. Something's odd about this man. Is it the age thing? AM I getting too worked up over nothing?
JoeNewbie Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Seems to me like you are both fairly insecure about your respective intentions. You know better than us whether this kind of person works for you. Perhaps he will get better once you get to know him over a longer period. He might need more interactions to reassure him on a number of things.
Author InquiringMind Posted August 24, 2008 Author Posted August 24, 2008 Seems to me like you are both fairly insecure about your respective intentions. You know better than us whether this kind of person works for you. Perhaps he will get better once you get to know him over a longer period. He might need more interactions to reassure him on a number of things. perhaps, I should wait to see if it gets better. I do know that I can't continue on with false accusations. We've known each other since April, but we've been talking and spending time together (the second time) for about a month now.
JoeNewbie Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 perhaps, I should wait to see if it gets better. I do know that I can't continue on with false accusations. We've known each other since April, but we've been talking and spending time together (the second time) for about a month now. The false accusations are just the way he expresses his insecurity. I'd spend more time with him - but be aware that the "make-or-break" date will happen pretty soon. On the good side, he wouldn't "accuse" you of anything unless he likes you.
Last_Nerve Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I would let it go. I would not listen to that mouth one more minute.
Author InquiringMind Posted September 11, 2008 Author Posted September 11, 2008 We are still trying to make this work. We haven't slept together just yet. We still haven't had much time to spend together. We do talk as often as we can. I guess that it's a good thing we are still trying to work the relationship.
Recommended Posts