CandyGirlXO Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Lately I have been losing all hope that I will be one of the lucky few that find their true love, build a family together, and even years after being together still have that love and respect for eachother. I am trying to be happy on my own since i feel like thats all its ever going to be, but its so hard when it's human nature to want meaningful connections with people to share your life with. I feel like if you don't find your SO in college than your SOL! Where am I supposed to meet someone now?!?!? It doesn't help when my co-worker said to me the other day, "If you continue working here, you will be single forever and live a lonely life." I work in an office with all females and only one guy. I thought he liked me and is now giving me mixed signals. It sucks because I like him so much! Anyways, I have given up all hope. I left my BF of 3 years because he didn't treat me right. I was hoping this guy at work would pan out but that doesn't seem to be working. I feel like being miserable with my EX is better than being all alone.
Green Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 maybe you should join a church singles group or go on a cruise or vacation to feel better
sedgwick Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I'm 37, and I know exactly *ONE* couple who met in college and are still together. Travel and do things and live your life and all the rest will come. Can you get a new job? Move to a new city? Do something to really shake your life up and force you to meet people? Having done this several times, I can attest that it's awesome.
hrtbroken99 Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 i know EXACTLY how you feel as i also work in an office with nothing but women and have friends who are all coupled up i dread weekends....i just pmed you..
orangehose Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Candy, I also despair of finding 'eternal love', or what have you. At best, the cycle of joy and pain will likely be repeated, but hopefully with someone at least somewhat more deserving. I think the solutions lie in: 1. Truly loving your life without a partner - this means finding your work (or something else in your life) meaningful and enjoyable. 2. Giving up the idea of true love. I believe you mentioned this in one of your previous threads. Life is long and relationships will come and go, so don't look to them as your sole source of meaning in life.
tealeafbud Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I think very few people meet their true loves at work or in college. If it's meeting people that is the problem, there are lots of ways to meet guys. But I do know how you feel also. To combat it, I try not to think about it.
laars Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I think you have to be open to meeting new people. Go to a dance class or an art class or a orange eating class... whatever! Just go out and have fun and something will happen... it always does.
MalachiX Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 I know how you feel. I'm 24 and the one person I thought I might marry and the only person I said, "I love you two" I started dating in college. In fact, it almost seemed like divine intervention since we'd barely known each other in high school and then, because a certain hurrican sunk our city, we ended up finding each other as refugees. It was kind of a cinematic moment as our eyes locked across a crowd of people, everything kind of went into slow-motion, and we walked toward each other. I was actually talking to someone on the phone and simply said, "I gotta go," and hung up. I remember thinking so many times when I was with this girl that, when our getting together felt so much like destiny, she had to be the one. Well, it didn't work out and I'm moving on with my life. Maybe I'll find someone I can love just as much. Maybe even if it's ment to be I'll have another magical meeting with this girl in a few years when I'm a less selfish person and somehow it'll work out. Maybe I'll die alone. I guess the point is that thinking you can only find your SO in a certain place or situation is self-destructive. I thought that having such a moment that made it seem like we were destined to be together meant she was my SO but I know now that I really wasn't mature enough to be in that deep a relationship. Giving up because this one didn't work is silly and thinking you can't find a SO outside of college is equally silly. Or look at it this way. I thought love took a natural disaster of amazing proportions and you think it just takes college. If I operate under this philosophy, my only option is to move to LA and pray for the "big one." All you've gotta do is find the nearest community college and take an easy night class.
nowhereman82 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Finding meaning and happiness in your personal life will eventually lead to meeting a man, when you least expect it. Personally I don't suggest finding men from work. Read all the posts of the people here who seperated from coworkers and are now in hell 40 hours a week
frownyface42 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 i'm in your same boat... my HS girlfriend and i went to the same college, broke up and got back together a million times. we both have dated other people but have always came back to eachother because it felt right. now she's about moving on and just being "friends" which i guess is my fault because i started to push her away whenever things got too close. i was afraid of the relationship and now i suffer from regret. its terribly hard to cope because i'm not meeting new people and my "first real job" is computer stuff, so all dudes i've now decided since i don't like my job, my ex-girl isn't interested in my the same anymore and i'm not meeting people i'm gonna pack up and go live on a mountain in colorado and go skiing and work on the mountain all winter to get my mind off of this damn coprorate world and ex-girl.
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