LadyLuck77 Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I have been with my husband since I was 18 , we have two children together our youngest has cerebral palsy.Anyway 3 years ago we seperated because he began drinking liquor and accusing me of cheating online which I WAS NOT doing.He moved out and bought a mobile home(we lived with my parents at the time)During this time he stole my cell phone and snooped through it and I caught him,he also got the bill out of my car and calld my friends asking if I was there and he even lied and claimed that I gave him a std when I hadnt even been with anyone else.When he couldnt get me to confess he said he made it up just to see what I would say. He also did other things and it just hurt me really bad. After a few months I moved in with him and we would fight alot. I finally told him I was leaving if he kept drinking and he stopped.A few times I found liquor hidden and even a few months ago I found a bottle of beer and poured it out.Since then we have also moved back to my moms.He says he isnt drinking and he is sorry for what he did back then but now I am just tired and dont care.I love him as a friend and for all the time we have shared but I am not in love with him and now I have feelings that I wish I could just move on and be with someone else and look for love again.I am not going to cheat though I just dont know if I should leave or not.I dont want to make a mistake and regret it. Sex with my husband is awful,and I dread it with a passion.I dont enjoy his company I just feel irritated and angry when he is around like he is spying or something.And feel like he still watches everything I do even though he says he doesnt. I should mention also that he has on several occasions abused our oldest son, the last time was a few months ago he got mad at him and we had a puppy in the house and he held our sons face down onto the puppy pad which had pee on it.He says this isnt abuse that he was playing.He slapped my son in the nose once because he was coming towards my son making like he was going to wrestle him and my son being scared even though his dad said he was playing kicked him in the crotch while he was cornered in the closet and my husband slapped him in the nose.He also held him up in the air one night by his underwear claiming he was playing with him and giving him a wedgy but when I heard my son crying I ran in there and he was holding him up like this while he was beggin to be let go and was sobbing.He also has told him if we ever divorce it would be his fault for tattle telling everything he says or does. He hasnt acted like this in a few months but it stays in my mind and I just dont care for him because of this.And I fear he will always act this way again or drink and so on. I just feel that I need out but I am unsure and I need advice.
onelastchance Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Only you can answer that question as to whether to leave him or not. My advise would be to sit down and talk with him about your concerns. If you are afraid to do that, I would at least have an exit plan in mind when he does start drinking/abusing your kids. Do you have anywhere to turn if things do get bad? Drinking heavily usually the result of stress in someone's life and they don't know how to cope with it so they look for the answer at the end of a bottle. If you can find the source of the drinking, you might be able to get him to stop. However, that road can be very rough. I wish you luck in what you decide. Would you be able to let me know your decision or if there is anything else I can do (like help you with that exit plan), you are always welcome to e-mail me or reply back to this forum. My address is [email protected]. Good luck!
Author LadyLuck77 Posted August 24, 2008 Author Posted August 24, 2008 Only you can answer that question as to whether to leave him or not. My advise would be to sit down and talk with him about your concerns. If you are afraid to do that, I would at least have an exit plan in mind when he does start drinking/abusing your kids. Do you have anywhere to turn if things do get bad? Drinking heavily usually the result of stress in someone's life and they don't know how to cope with it so they look for the answer at the end of a bottle. If you can find the source of the drinking, you might be able to get him to stop. However, that road can be very rough. I wish you luck in what you decide. Would you be able to let me know your decision or if there is anything else I can do (like help you with that exit plan), you are always welcome to e-mail me or reply back to this forum. My address is [email protected]. Good luck! Thank you I may have to take you up on that soon.I just feel like I dont want to try anymore I just want out but I also do not want to make a rash decision.
Gunny376 Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I should mention also that he has on several occasions abused our oldest son, the last time was a few months ago he got mad at him and we had a puppy in the house and he held our sons face down onto the puppy pad which had pee on it.He says this isnt abuse that he was playing.He slapped my son in the nose once because he was coming towards my son making like he was going to wrestle him and my son being scared even though his dad said he was playing kicked him in the crotch while he was cornered in the closet and my husband slapped him in the nose.He also held him up in the air one night by his underwear claiming he was playing with him and giving him a wedgy but when I heard my son crying I ran in there and he was holding him up like this while he was beggin to be let go and was sobbing.He also has told him if we ever divorce it would be his fault for tattle telling everything he says or does. He hasnt acted like this in a few months but it stays in my mind and I just dont care for him because of this.And I fear he will always act this way again or drink and so on. I just feel that I need out but I am unsure and I need advice. Under the Uniform Code of Military Justice that governs the American Military and the SOP (Standard Operation Procedure) for Marine Recruit Training ~ THIS IS ABUSE, AND HAZING! I'd get busy with living the rest of your life! Without him! If a Marine DI pulled this stunt he could kiss his carrer good-bye, would be busted in rank, fined thousands of dollars, thrown in the brig!
LakesideDream Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Under the Uniform Code of Military Justice that governs the American Military and the SOP (Standard Operation Procedure) for Marine Recruit Training ~ THIS IS ABUSE, AND HAZING! I'd get busy with living the rest of your life! Without him! If a Marine DI pulled this stunt he could kiss his carrer good-bye, would be busted in rank, fined thousands of dollars, thrown in the brig! Gunny... chill sarge! If you are going to judge this couple using the UCMJ, and SOP, you need to take into consideration that neither would have be accepted for service in the first place.. If by chance they found a crack to hid in and made it to boot, neither would have graduated, unless they were able to seriously unf**k themselves during basic training. It hard and ultimately unfair to judge a pair of rank dumbasses by the Corps standards Gunny.
Gunny376 Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Gunny... chill sarge! If you are going to judge this couple using the UCMJ, and SOP, you need to take into consideration that neither would have be accepted for service in the first place.. If by chance they found a crack to hid in and made it to boot, neither would have graduated, unless they were able to seriously unf**k themselves during basic training. It hard and ultimately unfair to judge a pair of rank dumbasses by the Corps standards Gunny. Of course your right LS, its an inheirent flaw I've acquired, and constantly have to remind myself of that "most couldn't tote the note" of the Corps standards I've come to regard as the "norm" But once life is viewed from that prizim there's no going back.
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