playmakr Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 I'll make this as brief as possible: Two years ago i separated from my ex who i had two kids with. I started a relationship with a young lady 7 years my junior. She was 2 years removed from a 6-year relationship where she concedes that she wasted her time (no kids & no marriage to her is a waste (she's Latina and is in competition with her other siblings/cousins)). Here i come not pressed for either since i have two kids and not in a rush to get married. For the first year everything was rosey. One day she sends me an email straight out of the bi-polar hall of fame. She accused me of stringing her along and questioned my relationship with my ex. in addition to this she told me not to ever talk to her again. Like a trooper i didn't respond but mailed her her apartment keys and NC'd ...... for a week. after 6 days i missed her, knocked on her door and she was in tears, we made love and asked me what took me so long........ PSYCHO>>>>>>. At this point i realized i had really strong feeling for her. That was 9 mos ago. Shortly thereafter i noticed she had quite a few left-over online dating memberships, which she made herself idle, but checked and cyber-flirted regularly. This had me fumed and i must admit i broke down and started snooping on her. I later found out that not only was she cyber-cheating with guys on line but she also sent her ex of 6years (broken up 2yrs) naked pictures of herself?!?! and some other guy during a 3 day break-up we had. To top it off, 4mos ago she sends some other internet-guy pics of her topless - more on this "internet-guy" later Right around this time we had a sit-down and i realized based on the conversation and her behavior that she felt we weren't "on the same page" with regards to settling down. We came to a decision and really were on the right path up until i fkd up. i was so shook about her cheating that i started accepting advances of an old flame and eventually cheated on her over the period of 1month. Emotionally first, then sexually. Wouldn't you know it, around that time my girlfriend who tried for years and years to have a baby with her ex and couldn't (he has 2 kids) gets pregnant. She was so happy, i was too i must admit but was a bit aprehensive about some of her mothering skills or lack thereof. Because of low hormones she eventually mis-carried. She went into a little depression and it was tough. Two weeks ago she drops me off at the train station in my car because hers was in the shop and i forget my Blackberry in the car - the minute i realized it i had a bad feeling. Wouldn't you know it, like an idiot i hadn't deleted my text's to the "other girl" and she saw and read everything, chapter and verse. i found out because she IM'd me and said "You are unbelievable". she called the other girl and verified her suspicions. The other girl of course tells her everything. i took a cab to her job and she was very confrontational and told me to get lost. i called her all day until she got off of work and she demanded to know everything. she wanted to 3-way call with the other girl and showed me an email of some guy she claims she made out with on her couch the week before after she got drunk from a family party. she met this guy the week before she tells me. That night she gives me back everything i ever gave her, $1300 Louis bag, bracelets, pics were ripped up, my A/C... you name it. she goes on to tell me all this other dirt she did as well and that she can f*ck whoever she wants now, etc. I suspected this was all to hurt me anyway, the next day instead of just NC'ing... no.... i txt her and ask for the 600bucks she owes me. she sent something nasty and we went back and forth txting really nasty stuff. Radio silence for two days until she sent me an email (she will absolutely not speak on the phone or in person in cases of adversity - she's anxious in crowds as well - i digress). The email basically says that she couldn't sleep nights thinking i thought she did the things she said she did. hope i feel guilty. this is not an attempt to get back with me (3 x she mentions this in the email). she told her mom...yada yada... "so now you know i'm serious about not wanting to get back"...blah...blah... i email back for a meet, she declines..... i email an explanation and apology that i was insecure..blah blah... nothing. Later that night i went to a bar and started drunk texting (bad). Nothing from her. Next night i partied with some friends and drank too much. went to her house, she wasn't home - i called and asked her to meet - she picked up and was at her Mom's house because she felt i would come around and didn't want to see me. she agreed to talk and i could tell she was a mess. we spoke for 3 hours and kept repeating she wouldn't take me back - she broke down 5 - 6 times. "she could never trust me" i left on the hope that we could work it out. so i txt'd her a bit later and asked to meet up - she text'd me with basically "Look, you have zero chance to get back with me. you lost this relationship when you decided to f'ck that ho. if you ever come to my house i'm calling the police, and i'm serious". Being the hot-head i am i went over to her house and banged on her door for a bit until i realized it wasn't worth it and went home. Three days later i send her a txt that 'i respect her decision not to communicate and i'm truly sorry - just checking in on her to let her know i was thinking about her. i'll alwayz be her for her........' i then send her a letter hand-written through "snail mail" basically "agreeing with the breakup", short apology for acting on my insecurities. closing with "hopefully at some point we can be friends" and i won't be bothering her any longer. it's been 4 days. Now, i know that i was wrong for being weak and acting on my insecurities. i know it was equally bad to be doing this right when she mis-carried. i want her back, but i think too much damage has been done. Btw, she tells me that the guy who she sent the pics to a couple of months ago took her to work for 3 days while her car was in the shop and even slept over one night to help her through this tough time (i want to strangle this guy - he's such a f*kn weasel in my dealings with him when i confronted him once). she adds " i could've slept with him if i wanted...blah...blah....blah. she hasn't called me in a week (or since she threatened to call the cops if i came by). everytime we break up she acts irrational and says things like this, only to love me harder and more passionately then before??? Go figure. what type of NC should i proceed with?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 You need to see a shrink. And stay away from her. She's a cheater, you're a cheater.... go figure.
porter218 Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 what type of NC should i proceed with? The forever kind. Just in case you didn't know...cheating is bad ...
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