yongyong Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 So I accepted her offer 'let's be friends till I am ready for a relationship' She contacted me after I didn't contact her for 5 days. We made out eventually and it made her more upset (she asked she wanted to have sex while making out but I didn't do it) I tried not to do it because I wanted to show I could control my emotion. I think it destroyed her ego because she said 'yes' but I didn't do it:rolleyes: (I should've said 'this is wrong, we shouldn't do this ) She said she did it because she was stupid. She also said she hates herself getting jealous at me for going out and meeting other girls. I asked if she wanted me back but she said 'you know I am not ready for relationship' Anyway, I will leave her alone till she contacts me. I am sure it will happen in a week. What kind of physical contact is understandable? just holding hands, put my arm around her waist, good bye kiss? (no french kiss) If I overeact by not letting her just touching my body, I think it can backfire. Plus, when she wants to kiss me, if I give in, she is the one who can control I think. I know just because I had sex with her doesn't mean we are starting over again and it can make things worse too. Should I hold sexual contact till she approves(?) we are back into relationship again? Should I talk to her about 'let's don't kiss or make out' till we are couple again?
CaliGuy Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 If you're not dating then I'd suggest a boundary of no touching at all. Why buy the milk when you can have the cow for free?
Author yongyong Posted August 24, 2008 Author Posted August 24, 2008 Here is good update! I went to the club alone that I've never been to. I ran into her there! I told her she could have fun with her friends and doesn't have to worry about me but she wanted me to stay with her. So we had a great time dancing together. I tried not to show too much DDBL (doggy dinner bowl look) lol And good thing is that she showed me this promise ring I gave to her We broke up right after I gave the ring to her (you can imagine my pain) I never seen her wearing that so it was really shocking. Actually we were about to go to NC (not even friends) yesterday but I saved it at last minute. She called me yesterday how it was not working between us and told me 'bye and thanks for everything' I txted her about the thing I bought for her while ago and set up a meeting. I took her to the top of the mountain where you can see great city view. I told her 'feel the wind and the sun, don't think about anything, forget about everything' she was really moved and gave me very sincere hug while saying 'you are so nice'. I've never seen such a happy face from her I also told her 'I just want you to be happy, If you meet somone and are happy with him, I will be happy for you But if you get hurt again and want to come back to me, I won't forgive you' Here is my question I didn't ask her about what that ring meant though I know if I ask her later , 'so are we going back to relationship?' this kind of question, it will push her further. So I am wondering what I should do to make her say 'I want to start again with you' From now on, I will try to keep my cool, contact her maybe every 2 days when she contacts me first, show how I am having fun in my personal life If I finally get her back, I will post it here to help other guys. If you can give me any more advice, I will appreciate that.
CaliGuy Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 Just give her space man. Don't chase her. She knows how you feel about her, if she really wants you, she will find you. Trust me on that.
Author yongyong Posted August 28, 2008 Author Posted August 28, 2008 Her brother just had a baby. She asked if I wanted to visit them to see the baby. I asked her 'how are you gonna tell your brother about me?' (never saw him) she said 'I will just tell him you are my friend' But what woman brings her guy friend to her brother to see his baby? (unless I've known her brother for a while) Plus, her brother won't be dumb enough to see me as just friend either....... So should I go there as friend and meet her brother? because it's a good sign from her? (instead of bitching like this 'do you think he's going to believe I am just your friend?') BTW this would be the great chance to see if she is going to wear the ring in front of her brother
nowhereman82 Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Sounds good and all but you can't really change how people feel. I wonder what is going on in her head and how she truly feels about you. Some women think the way their man feels for them or what they do for them is enough to carry the relationship and it ends up making the lady miserable in the end. Tread lightly....don't get burned.
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