nowhereman82 Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 First off I would really like to thank the LS community for the support I get from reading and posting. I would also like to stress that NC is important and the only reason I was not phased as much by the email my ex sent me today. I sent an email about 2 weeks ago laying out some thoughts on our personal situations. It gave me some peace and I was able to go NC no problem since then. I honestly did not expect a reply and this morning I got it. Nothing to be really read from it. She just disagreed with some points I made, shared a lil on her thoughts. And told me she is no longer seeing the new guy. I did not read anything she said, I accepted it for face value. Between our last communication, my email, and her response. I truly know that there is no "second chance". I am not a bad person, I am just not what she needs in her personal life right now. The email did not hurt...my response hurt. Cried the whole time because my response was the truth. I told her I realize truly now that there is no future, I thanked her for being my friend, love, and a positive influence on my life and wished her happiness in her future. I guess I gave myself closure. I now have no reason to contact her. Time will fix my other issues. Has anyone else here tried creating closure for themselves so they can move on? Gosh....I could really use a hug Guess it's good I had planned on visiting the family this weekend. I will be leaving for there shortly.
lovesparis Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 i've tried, but it didn't work for me. i was just lying to myself to try to find closure... regardless, you rock-- you were able to do that and it worked for you! ::hug::
Author nowhereman82 Posted August 23, 2008 Author Posted August 23, 2008 Haha we will see. But I feel the last two weeks of NC were very easy and I know this will only strengthen my resolve. Besides....I have you guys to fall on
coffeemaker Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Yup, i created closure for myself with the most recent one. There's a thread somewhere around here where I basically said friendship wouldn't work for me and that she shouldn't contact me unless she reconsidered. Apparently that wasn't enough, mostly because I personally hate for the last words I say to someone to be out of anger and frustration. Anyway, I got my head straight and about a week and a half later found some compassion in myself, wrote another email, thanked her for her time and wished her well. Now that might seem a bit ridiculous, but i really did it for me. Despite the anger/frustration, etc, I've always tried to find forgiveness and compassion in any situation. I sent that last email three weeks ago, haven't contacted her since and haven't even heard from her. Again, i don't expect to EVER hear from her again (though the previous one has mysteriously started contacting me after 5 months of NC - so you never know). So, yes I created my own closure - to each their own. I still have moments where I lapse and ponder what happened, but i'm in a much better frame of mind now. Sounds like you are too!
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