usababe Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 I need help with this guy, we've known eachother for 6 months now. We met out 1 night and there was instant chemistry, we swopped numbers and started chatting regularly, we went on 1 date but after he told me he wasn't ready to go out with anyone yet as he was quite badly hurt by his ex. I told him I did want that as I liked him alot and couldn't settle for less so I started to move on but he would keep contacting me, I would always respond as I still really like him but didn't make much effort as I didn't see the point. We go out in the same places every weekend and wherever I am he will be within viewing distance of me and he spends the whole night glancing over at me. Last weekend we chatted for a bit while out but nothing happened and the next night he asked me out to watch a movie! so I thought we were making progress so I went to see what he had to say but it was just like the first time, he seemed really self-conscious, he could barely make any eyecontact with me and didn't hold my hand of anything it was really odd and frustrating yet our conversations were free flowing and fun. Then the next day again he told me he just wasn't ready to go out with someone and he didn't want to hurt me, he admitted that he really liked me too and went on to tell me all about his ex and how she hurt him and was asking about mine. He doesn't open up often so I think that wasn't easy for him. Any advice from guys especially would be good, it's really hard for me to walk away from him when I can tell he has feelings for me too and apart from this fear of his I know we would make a great couple. He always seems to take a step forward but then 2 back. Should I stick around and try and gain his trust or is it unlikely he'll ever want more at this stage??
xpaperxcutx Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 This kind of situation calls for non- compliance on your part. If he's not ready to date, then it should be apparent that he leaves you alone to flirt and date other people. What his behavior is doing is dragging you down. He's being really selfish. Let him deal with his problems on his own, he can't expect you to sit and wait around for him.
Author usababe Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 yeah I agree thanks. Any guys out there have any advice for me?
nopainnogain Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 We met out 1 night and there was instant chemistry, ?? I think you put high expectations on this to begin with thats why you are trippin out. I would give him space and holla back in a month. Then come back with your analysis
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 He 'friendzoned' himself, so treat him as such. Date other guys! He may get jealous seeing you with another guy and start to beak about it, but that's his problem. He had his chance, but he didn't take it. Some time down the road, once he's gotten his head together, something might happen, but don't expect it or sit around waiting for it. PC's right; right now, he's just dragging you down. He had his chance with you. If he wants another bite at the apple, it's up to him to make the effort. There's no sense in you putting your dating life on hold just because he is.
Author usababe Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 Thanks JohnnyBlaze, that makes sense... pretty much what I've been thinking myself but needed to hear it from someone else. I did meet someone else the last night I was out and since then he's acting really strange he's being extra nice to me but not making much effort to contact so I know he's bugged by this but can't admit it as he know's he's completely wrong.
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