Husband kicks me out, but prevents me from leaving

[RecordProducer]

I don't remember myself sobbing like this in a long time.

For those who don't know my case, I am originally from Europe and married my American husband 2.5 years ago, then moved to the US. I have no one and nothing here. He is a very successful businessman (this info will make sense later in the story) and I am his third wife (he has no kids and all his marriages have been very short). He is 18 years older than I am.

 

Problems started from day one, he stopped sleeping with me in week three, had many excuses for that (the most used one was that he's disgusted by me cuz we don't see eye to eye). He's been telling me since day one that he wants me out of his life. I've probably heard it 1,000 times - without exaggeration. He recently put it on paper "I want you out of my life. I told you this for two years."

 

Our post-nuptial agreement grants me $125,000 in case of divorce (which I had to fight for, cuz he wanted to give me almost nothing and he is a millionaire!). I have two children from my first marriage, whom he adores and they him. A week ago, I said I was leaving. He didn't seem happy and he even suggested something like I should take a step back and think. Everybody has been telling me that he doesn't really want me out and it seemed like good news so far. Anyway, he promised to give me the money now, because I decided to purchase instead of rent a home.

 

However, when he saw a picture of the real estate agent that some website assigned me and realized he was our neighbor, he said I shouldn't have picked her. I figured he wasn't serious about me leaving if he cared that the agent would find out. He said I had no social grace. What is shameful about looking for a home? Even disclosing that I am divorcing? It only means that he doesn't really want to divorce. But he keeps telling me to get out. This marriage has been sexless, loveless and painful since day one. I tried to fix it, I begged him to give us a chance, but he kept saying it was pointless. Of course, his side of the story is that I was the bad guy, but as imperfect as we all are, I always wanted to work on the marriage and give/receive love; he wanted to end it since day one and thought everything should be his way. He only talked about money and sai I gave him nothing, in $$$.

 

So, I figure his word about giving my 125,00 means nothing, I start begging him to write me the check NOW, we start fighting, I start hitting him, he starts hitting me, he says I won't get the money, he'll make things hard for me. The thing is, we decided to stay married until I can bring my mom over, so he's been blackmailing me with this detail. In other words, if either one of us files for a divorce before I get my citizenship, my mother can come in about 4 years. If we don't divorce, I can file for citizenship sooner and she can come in about 2 years.

 

The post-nuptial agreement says that he has to pay the $125,000 within six months of the day when either spouse files for divorce. So, if I file now, I will get the money within six months and be able to purchase a home, but my mother will have to wait 4 (instead of 2) years to join me.

 

I don't think that money is more important than people; my mother's happiness is very important to me. She lives with a mentally ill father who abuses her emotionally and has no one else around her; she is also very poor - a victim of a second-world country. I need to bring her over ASAP. On th other hand, if I get out of the house now, I will have to rent, which means over $20,000 will be wasted on rent in the next two years.

 

The thing is he promised and now he is backing off. Why? Because he doesn't want me out. I told him that and he keeps saying he does want me out. That money means absolutely nothing to him. He has lost and given more to things and people who don't deserve it. He just thought I would fall on my knees and beg for mercy when he kicks me out. That's why it bothers him so much that I have that money waiting for me.

 

He told me previously that I have no marketable skills and can only work as a waitress, although he knows that I have a college degree, I got accepted to a good law school (decided not to attend), and have worked as a singer, songwriter, and producer back in my country.

 

Apparently, he wants me to stay in his house forever; he wants to force me to. I have no one to talk to him, to protect me or back me up. I am very close to my parents, but they are 5,000 miles away. He said he'd cut off the electricity and water and whatever. I said I wasn't afraid of him. Worse comes to worse, I'll rent a place, live in severe poverty, and in a few years, I'll buy one. I told him I wasn't leaving without the money. Since he isn't giving it to me, that means I will live in hell for the next couple years.

 

Oh, well... this too shall pass. I guess I am just venting. And don't tell me to see a lawyer,cuz I've already seen one, we have a nuptial agreement, and all I can do is file for a divorce and have the money six months later - that means my mother wouldn't join me anytime soon. That probably means she would die before she comes because she has a high blood pressure and if I tell her that she has to live for 4 more years with her father, she won't survive that.

 

So, I guess I need to sacrifice and do my thing (my music, find a job) and deal with the husband for the next couple years. The sad and funny thing is, I used to be so in love with him, so scared that he would dump me, and so frightened each time he would threaten with a divorce - and now I am so sad that he never really meant it. He is a very sick person who enjoys hurting the woman he lives with. He did this to his ex-wife, too. He is totally incapable of giving love, affection or sex. He was never open and honest with me.

 

I just don't know what I did to deserve to deal with someone like him. And on top of everything, he tells me I stole money from him (those $125,000), as if we weren't married the whole time. He obviously thought that he would bring me to the US and I would do whatever he says, that I would be something like a "trafficked slave" for him. He can't comprehend that the law is on my side, that I have rights and I can't just get out in the street, alone and unemployed with two kids.

[GPFan]

I don't know what to say, he sounds like a tortured Soul.

 

I hope that saving your Mum will make it all worth it in the end.

 

Take care.

[Angel1111]

Why do you even want to stay in the States? Why not just go back to Europe and be with your family? Even if you divorce him, you can't stay here forever - eventually you'll have to have a green card or something.

 

I hear these stories all the time - like the Russian bride syndrome. When are women going to figure out that if a guy has to 'buy' a perfect stranger to marry him, there just might be something wrong with that picture? Do you honestly believe that someone would go to that extreme to get a woman when they're all around him? Women need to wise up big-time and get off the ego trip that there's something so flawed about American women that these guys have to go find a decent woman in another country. Men like that can't sustain real-life relationships long enough to get the woman where he wants her - married and under his control. I know you weren't exactly a Russian bride but it seems you hardly knew this man before you married him.

 

On the psychological side of this, it's not at all surprising that you are involved with an abusive man when that's exactly what you grew up with. It's basically the only thing you've probably ever known and the thing that makes the most sense to you - even though you hate it. There's no reason to announce to him that you're leaving. You need to plan ahead, get your hands on as much money as possible before you leave, and make your exit before he even knows what hit him.

 

And for future reference, if a man ever tells you to leave, don't ever sit around hoping anything will change. Those words are offensive enough all by themselves and it's not something that can be taken back easily. The fact that he has said it more than 1,000 times says that you are just a willing partner to this abuse. No matter what name you give it - that you want your marriage to work, that you have hope, that you love him...whatever. I doesn't matter. Abuse is abuse and there is never a good enough reason to stay in it.

 

Do yourself and your children a huge favor and break this cycle of abuse. If you have children, they know what's going on and the life you're living right now is the life they will choose. Even if you think they don't know what's going on, they do. If you have any love for your kids, you will remove them from that environment and give them a better life, and teach them with a better example. You can talk to them until you're blue in the face but the truth is, they are watching the movie of your life - and that is what will become normal for them. Doesn't matter if you become a rich, well-known star from your music. Your kids will find some rich, famous man to abuse them.

 

Please stop this stuff now. Life is not supposed to be like this. Make a plan and get out of there. If you have access or rights to checking accounts, then take the $125,000 and get the hell out of Dodge - preferably out of the country. And don't EVER let a man treat you like this again.

[NewSunrise]

Woooww! I don't think I've ever come across a depressing story as this.

 

Agree with Angel1111.

 

You have an education/college degree. Use it. You had a career before you met your H, refine those skills and use them.

 

$125K may be a lot of money when received in one lump sum. But here in the states, you may also be taxed 30% = $37,500, leaving you $87,500. You can easily achieve this within 2 years or less based on your education and work experience.

 

Some European countries allow their citizens to keep their citizenship even if they come to the States. Do you have dual citizenship? If you do, go back to Europe and look after your Mom's safety AND yours. As a precaution please get help.

 

Rather than making excuses for your dilemma, look at yourself in the mirror. It's all about choices. You are intelligent and smart. You're emotionally, mentally and physical too, it seems, beaten. BUT, are ALL of your limbs working (hands, arms, legs)? And if they are, what are you waiting for?

[RecordProducer]

Thanks for the replies, guys. I talked to my best friend on the phone and now I feel better.

 

Angel, I already have the green card. Also, I already realized that he is severely flawed; hence his inability to find a woman in his own country.

 

Regarding the psychological side, I wouldn't take his abuse, but at a certain point, I had no other options - or at least I thought so. I don't want to continue this cycle in which he tells me "Get out!" but what he really means is "It's going to be my way or the highway - but forget the highway."

 

You don't have to convince me to end this, since I very much want to end it, after the myriad of attempts to make the marriage work. We are apparently not right for each other and he did everything to push me away (he didn't give me love, affection or sex; he was great to the kids though).

 

I made a plan to get out and had it all figured out, and now he wants to prevent me from leaving by holding the money (just because legally, he doesn't have to give it to me yet). And this is the same person who told me to get out of his house 1,000 times.

 

I was so happy about buying a cheap home, looking for a job, and working on my music, doing gigs, meeting new people, and just taking care of my kids, who are at their best age (10) when they are good, loyal, fun friends, yet still babies who want to cuddle with Mama, but already independent physically.

 

And he just ruined my dream. Now, if I don't get mortgage, I'll either have to waste money on rent ($1,000 monthly ) or stay in the house with him until he decides to let me go.

 

NewSunrise, I do plan to get a job. I agree with you that income is the most important thing right now. My limbs work - it's my brain that was set on repairing an unrepairable marriage for 2.5. years, instead of pursuing a career and enjoying my life. I lived like a loser all this time because he was the center of my universe. Funny, every time I fall in love, I devote myself completely to a man who later turns out to be a major waste of nerves and effort.

 

The deal I have is tax-free (stated in the postnup). My mom wouldn't be happy if I sacrificed my happiness and went to take care of her. She can take care of herself; she just needs to live near us. Besides, she doesn't even live in the country where we lived previously.

 

Well, guys, thanks again. I appreciate your concern, as well as the time and effort you put into reading my long post.

[PandorasBox]

Wow, I don't know what to say RP except I'm sorry. Try to hang in there and take one day at a time.

[RecordProducer]

Thanks, PandorasBox.

[Angel1111]

Thanks for the replies, guys. I talked to my best friend on the phone and now I feel better.

 

Angel, I already have the green card. Also, I already realized that he is severely flawed; hence his inability to find a woman in his own country.

 

Regarding the psychological side, I wouldn't take his abuse, but at a certain point, I had no other options - or at least I thought so. I don't want to continue this cycle in which he tells me "Get out!" but what he really means is "It's going to be my way or the highway - but forget the highway."

 

Not being judgemental but you need to be honest with yourself and look at this realistically. Yes, you HAVE taken his abuse. You took it when you stayed after the first time he told you to get out. He can't abuse you and he can't tell you to get out if you're already gone. Hey, I understand the tangled web of relationships, but call it what it is - you are taking his abuse. Period.

 

You don't have to convince me to end this, since I very much want to end it, after the myriad of attempts to make the marriage work. We are apparently not right for each other and he did everything to push me away (he didn't give me love, affection or sex; he was great to the kids though).

 

In the future if anyone does everything to push you away, then leave immediately. Don't stay for 2 more seconds. Staying implies that you're ok with being with someone who doesn't want you around. This is not a good message to send to anyone - particularly to yourself.

 

I made a plan to get out and had it all figured out, and now he wants to prevent me from leaving by holding the money (just because legally, he doesn't have to give it to me yet). And this is the same person who told me to get out of his house 1,000 times.

 

I'm talking about making a plan that he knows nothing about, and following thru with it. Unless he has you chained to a post, there's nothing he can do to prevent you from leaving. And of course he's withholding the money! It's just one more form of control.

 

When you finally see this game he's playing with you, you'll stop playing the victim. And sorry to be so blunt but this stuff drives me insane. The crap women put up with never ceases to amaze me. This man LOVES the power trip it gives him to be abusive to you. And here's a newsflash for you in case you haven't figured it out yet - he doesn't want you to leave. What he wants is for you to stick around so that he can abuse you. He loves it. It makes him feel good and he doesn't give a fig about how it makes you feel. He tells you to leave because it makes him feel powerful because it's belittling to you, and because he believes that you won't leave. But now that you've pulled that card, he's going to do what it takes to keep you there. That's why I'm telling you to make a plan to leave without his knowledge and just get out of there.

 

I was so happy about buying a cheap home, looking for a job, and working on my music, doing gigs, meeting new people, and just taking care of my kids, who are at their best age (10) when they are good, loyal, fun friends, yet still babies who want to cuddle with Mama, but already independent physically.

 

You're kidding yourself if you think your children aren't taking this all in and knowing exactly what's going on. It doesn't matter how your husband treats them, what matters is how he's treating YOU. They see it and they're filing it away for future reference. In 10 yrs, you'll be back on this board posting about how you can't believe your daughter is with an abusive man and how it's killing you to watch it happen, or how your son is so abusive to his girlfriend. You need to get away from this situation, never get into another one, and once you leave, tell your children about how much of a mistake you made by being with a man who treated you badly. And then change that story for them by empowering yourself by either not ever being with anyone again, or getting into a healthy relationship. If you want to stop this insane cycle of abuse, then those are your only 2 options. Being with an abuser, or even with someone who doesn't value you, is no longer an option.

 

And he just ruined my dream. Now, if I don't get mortgage, I'll either have to waste money on rent ($1,000 monthly ) or stay in the house with him until he decides to let me go.

 

Ask successful people how they got to where they are and they'll tell you about all the nearly insurmountable hurdles they had to get past, all the hardships in their lives. Lots of people have had their plans shatter before their eyes. But if you're driven enough, you'll figure out how to make your dreams happen. Just remember that if your dreams are at the mercy of someone else, you will always find yourself right back in the position of being the victim. Your choice.

 

NewSunrise, I do plan to get a job. I agree with you that income is the most important thing right now. My limbs work - it's my brain that was set on repairing an unrepairable marriage for 2.5. years, instead of pursuing a career and enjoying my life. I lived like a loser all this time because he was the center of my universe. Funny, every time I fall in love, I devote myself completely to a man who later turns out to be a major waste of nerves and effort.

 

The deal I have is tax-free (stated in the postnup). My mom wouldn't be happy if I sacrificed my happiness and went to take care of her. She can take care of herself; she just needs to live near us. Besides, she doesn't even live in the country where we lived previously.

 

Well, guys, thanks again. I appreciate your concern, as well as the time and effort you put into reading my long post.

 

Most women make the man the center of her universe. And while there's nothing wrong with that, we have to make sure we have other interests, that we can always sustain ourselves, and that we never, ever give our hearts to a man who doesn't deserve it and who doesn't value us. If I married a millionaire tomorrow, I still would never put myself in the position to where I couldn't walk away immediately if I had to. That may sound cynical but the truth is, once you've been in that position, you'll never let yourself be there again because it's so frightening. I left my last husband without a dime to my name and without a steady job. I only made about $1,000/mo and didn't know how on earth my son and I were going to make it. But I had to leave and I took a huge leap of faith. And it all worked out. But, as I said, I will never be in that position again. Not for any man in this world.

 

We always make the mistake of staying because we want the marriage to work or because of the kids. But really it's all nonsense when you look at it in hindsight. Will you ever have a good marriage with a man who's verbally abusive and doesn't value you? Nope, it'll never happen. I think people need to be smart enough to know when to cut their losses, and when to know it's worth working on. I think that's the real key.

[LakesideDream]

These "marriages" seem surreal to me. I'm a fat, thin haired, financially stable 58 year old guy. There is an option for me to "meet and marry" a late 30's hottie, with a couple of kids who wants to live in America.

 

To some men this seems to be a reasonable alternative. To me, it doesent seem rational at all. The idea of choosing women to meet out of a catalog, traveling to meet them for an interview... inventoring their immediate familys, meeting their young children, deciding if you are compatible with those children. It's all so sordid. Seems like something you should do with a personal agent, or possible a moonlighting real estate broker along to back you up. How can people expect arrainged relationships like that to work?

 

RP even got a substantial "post nuptial", negotiated severance bonus, paid if the "relationship" doesent work out. Sadly the real goal was to make the "relationship" last at least four years so RP can import her mother into the country.

 

I hope RP's "husband" got his moneys worth. Aside from him being an anus.. he's also seems to have been a pretty successful self compensated coyote. Personally, I probably would have wanted regular "hot monkey love" to go along with the family importation, and severence bonus, but he must have his own agenda.

 

I say take the jewelry, cloths, car, door knobs, pets, and the $125K and call it a good couple of years work.

[RecordProducer]

And here's a newsflash for you in case you haven't figured it out yet - he doesn't want you to leave. What he wants is for you to stick around so that he can abuse you. He loves it. It makes him feel good and he doesn't give a fig about how it makes you feel. He tells you to leave because it makes him feel powerful because it's belittling to you, and because he believes that you won't leave. But now that you've pulled that card, he's going to do what it takes to keep you there.

Wow, this is exactly what I told him today! Angel, I agree with you about everything, no need to list each thought separately.

But I am not the type of woman who will do anything behind his back. I don't intend to hide.

 

LakesideDream, your assumptions are completely wrong and I don't intend to explain anything to you, since I came here to vent and get some input and comfort - not the skind of uperficial analyses you make while reading "People" ("Ah, that Paris Hilton... riches and their whims... And RP, the lady from the catalogue... what does she expect?"...)

 

I wasn't on any catalogues and we met each other many times before getting married. I knew my first husband for 6.5 years prior to marying him and it turned out I didn't know him t all. And the four years you mentioned, apparently you haven't understood what I was saying. I married this man to be with him forever, I fell in love with him, and didn't expect to struggle with mental, emotional, social, and financial abuse, in additon to sexual neglect. It's normal to do favors for your spouse and it's not normal to blackmail them with their misfortunate position.

 

By the way, he is not bald and fat. He is quite good-looking and very charming, witty, educated, and well-mannered. Hence my assigning such importance to him. It's under the surface what turned me off during the past 2.5 years.

[LakesideDream]

Wow, this is exactly what I told him today! Angel, I agree with you about everything, no need to list each thought separately.

But I am not the type of woman who will do anything behind his back. I don't intend to hide.

 

LakesideDream, your assumptions are completely wrong and I don't intend to explain anything to you, since I came here to vent and get some input and comfort - not the skind of uperficial analyses you make while reading "People" ("Ah, that Paris Hilton... riches and their whims... And RP, the lady from the catalogue... what does she expect?"...)

 

I wasn't on any catalogues and we met each other many times before getting married. I knew my first husband for 6.5 years prior to marying him and it turned out I didn't know him t all. And the four years you mentioned, apparently you haven't understood what I was saying. I married this man to be with him forever, I fell in love with him, and didn't expect to struggle with mental, emotional, social, and financial abuse, in additon to sexual neglect. It's normal to do favors for your spouse and it's not normal to blackmail them with their misfortunate position.

 

By the way, he is not bald and fat. He is quite good-looking and very charming, witty, educated, and well-mannered. Hence my assigning such importance to him. It's under the surface what turned me off during the past 2.5 years.

 

 

My apologies, and Great for you. I'm sure your problems are all just random relationship happenstance. Good luck to you, and your children, and your mom. You have a good start. Your in America, debt free, and not broke. Not bad.

[RecordProducer]

My apologies, and Great for you. I'm sure your problems are all just random relationship happenstance. Good luck to you, and your children, and your mom. You have a good start. Your in America, debt free, and not broke. Not bad.

Hey, no apologies necessary. No problem. I am sorry if I sounded bad.

 

Thanks for the good wishes and I agree that I am not in such a bad position. I have a good start and in a couple years things will be much better. But what's most important is that my kids are healthy; everything else doesn't really matter. I don't ask for much from life. It's just unfair that he doesn't have to do this sh*t to me, he can just let me go after he's been kicking me out for over two years. And it costs him nothing in any aspect to help me bring my mom over, but he is using it to his advantage. He doesn't care about the money; he can give it to me now and be a good guy in my eyes and benefit my kids; but he chooses to keep control over my life by forcing me to stay (and that's after he told me to leave!).

 

I don't understand how someone can look himself in the mirror and be proud of his actions knowing that he is doing everything he can to screw a woman who depends on him. It's not like I used him, found someone else, and now i want out. HE was the one who wanted me out; I was the one who wanted IN the whole time.

[Touche]

I start begging him to write me the check NOW, we start fighting, I start hitting him, he starts hitting me,

 

This part concerned me the most. I hope your kids don't see that behavior.

 

If I were you I'd get out NOW and find a job and get an apartment. Worry about the money later.

 

If you stay, you're a doormat. And I never thought of you as a doormat.

 

I admire the fact that you want to help your mother but your first responsibility should be your children. Your mother needs to take care of herself.

 

Don't sacrifice your well-being and that of your children for her. And she shouldn't want you to do that.

 

Good luck, RP!

[Enema]

OT: But, why do you think you deserve $125,000 of his money?

 

I know you'll get it because of the agreement, just interested to know the why's.

[Angel1111]

OT: But, why do you think you deserve $125,000 of his money?

 

I know you'll get it because of the agreement, just interested to know the why's.

 

I think the pre-nup is more of a form of protection for the person with the money. It prevents them from having to fork over a huge amount (sounds huge to us maybe but it's not to him) and from being tied up in court for forever. By law, as his spouse, she may have gotten more so she was showing good faith when she agreed to sign it.

[Angel1111]

I do not understand this one bit. What is stopping you from sending money to your mom to move out after you receive the check? So what if she has to wait longer to arrive in America, it would be more helpful to move back to your old country and buy a place for you two in six months or just send her money in six months time.

I've read back a few of your posts and this guy is so controlling and you are so weak to be conquered with every one of his demands; from his family to your coerced abortion. Why are you allowing him to step all over you and control you?? This is so disgusting.

 

An abortion. This just gets better and better. At best, it's incredibly sad.

 

Record, as I've said before, I think you're too tied up on this money issue and it just sounds like an excuse to stay. You have plenty to leave and there's nothing keeping you there. If things are as bad as you say they are, then you just need to get out.

 

I think you want us all to tell you what an ass your husband is and to sympathize with your plight. Ok, he probably is an ass - but the truth is, you continue to stay with him. This is insanity. You talk about not wanting to do anything behind his back - as though this marriage is any longer negotiable. It's not and all bets are off now. Find a place to live, hire some movers, get the heck out of there, and then file for divorce. As the expression goes: either you're a part of the solution or part of the problem. By continuing to argue with him and trying to negotiate in any way, you're adding fuel to the fire and making this situation worse.

 

This is not complicated. You're just making it complicated by your indecision.

[RecordProducer]

Those of you who post with the desire to put me down in this difficult (for me) situation and with no intent to give any constructive advice or support, please refrain from posting. It's easy to be useless and to judge others; it's hard to come up with something wise. I am not here for your entertainment, but because something hurts me very badly. Please, go back to your lives.

 

Angel and Touche, I PM'd you. Thanks for being there for me.

Pinktights, I put up with his controlling and disgusting behavior because I was in love and idealized him. Not anymore. I woke up. The suggestions you made (about my mother) are not doable for me or her, but I don't have the patience to explain why.

 

I think you want us all to tell you what an ass your husband is and to sympathize with your plight.

Believe it or not, this is the best you can do. It's the first step of moving on. A person will not pack her bags and move out just because she CAN; she will do it when she realizes that it's over - and it's over when she realizes that her husband is such an ass, that things will never ever work.

[Angel1111]

Believe it or not, this is the best you can do. It's the first step of moving on. A person will not pack her bags and move out just because she CAN; she will do it when she realizes that it's over - and it's over when she realizes that her husband is such an ass, that things will never ever work.

 

Yeah, that makes sense. Well, I know you're not a golddigger - you really loved your husband and I know that makes things way more complicated. I get really worried when I hear about more bad things, though.

 

I'll check your PM.

[Prodigal Princess]

Don't have anything insightful to add, just wanted to say good luck, RP.

[RecordProducer]

Don't have anything insightful to add, just wanted to say good luck, RP.

Thanks, PP.

 

Because somehow she felt it appropriate to compensate herself for marrying someone she "loves".

You think of others what you know of yourself. You think that every man who is wealthy must be married to a gold-digger, because you can't imagine that someone could love a person more than the doe (by the way, I had no clue about what he had before I married him). I bet if you were in my place, you would compensate yourself much better.

 

You just can't realize that what you write about me doesn't make things such. If you put "loves" in quotations, it won't just turn the love I felt for him into "love." Because of people like you and my husband, who enjoy abusing others, this world is not such a good place to live in. If you had anything beautiful going on in your life, you wouldn't be here desperately attempting to make someone feel bad. You're at the bottom, so you want to pull others down with you. Try working on your own happiness instead of working on making others unhappy.

 

Finally, this forum is for advice and support. You don't belong here. You should join some group like the KKK or the Neo-Nazis and you'll have your opportunity to bully people - just for the fun of it.

 

Oh, well, there are always trolls on the web forums.

[Mz. Pixie]

RP-

 

I'm so sorry that this guy continues to abuse you. Sending good thoughts your way.

 

P.S. I figured you had already dumped him and were enrolled in law school and doing well.

[curiousnycgirl]

RP -

 

I was new here when you were going through your on again off again engagement/marriage plans. And I remember when you posted that he did a 180 and that you two were married - and I remember being stunned but hopeful for you.

 

So now do you realize that this push me/pull you behaviour is something he has been exhibiting since day one? I know that saying I told you so, or it was always there, doesn't help - however I am trying to get you to see this man was never really "there."

 

When I say "there" I mean in that place he needs to be in to be committed to another individual, in your case three other individuals. How can you trust this man when he indicates he really loves your boys? Given how he treats you, how can you trust him to even be around your kids?

 

I am not questioning you, I am trying to point out reasons you should just walk the hell away from this man. Get your kids far away from him, and RUN. In the scheme of things, you are not talking about a great deal of money - it's not worth hanging around to collect.

 

You and your boys are worth way more than $125K - does any of that help?

[Nevermind]

RP-

 

I have no advice to offer, but some good vibes to send. Hopefully, one day you'll be happy and free, and those days of despair will hardly be remembered.

 

((hugs))

[RecordProducer]

Thanks for your input, support and good vibes, guys. I really appreciate it.

 

You and your boys are worth way more than $125K - does any of that help?

Ya think so? I'm calling my lawyer!

[curiousnycgirl]

You go girl! Call that lawyer and just keep on going!