miami_q Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 I don't want to get too specific, but here goes. All facts: She asked me out first. Whenever I ask her out she says Yes. I don't try to hide the way I feel about her. (I'm pretty sure I've made it painfully obvious that I'm really really into her) Shes dating someone else. I'm not, and she knows it. If the man shes dating knows what her and I do together, there would be a fist fight.
nopainnogain Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 just bang her and move on to another chick
Jilly Bean Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Leading you on would be if she let you think you're the only one. She's not doing that. I get the feeling that you are the side dish and you want more? If so, tell her to make a decision, or end it if she won't.
nopainnogain Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Leading you on would be if she let you think you're the only one. She's not doing that. I get the feeling that you are the side dish and you want more? If so, tell her to make a decision, or end it if she won't. pretty much the same thing I said lol
Jilly Bean Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 pretty much the same thing I said lol Uh, no. You told him to just use her and find someone else. I suggested her ask to decide between him and the other guy first, and if she doesn't, THEN move on.
whichwayisup Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Shes dating someone else. You're leading yourself on. Why are you bothering banging her or spending time with her when she has a boyfriend? And, you KNOW there would be a fight if he found out? She's just plain selfish to have two men, it's that plain and simple. You're the OM (other man) in her life.
Author miami_q Posted August 23, 2008 Author Posted August 23, 2008 You're leading yourself on. Why are you bothering banging her or spending time with her when she has a boyfriend? And, you KNOW there would be a fight if he found out? She's just plain selfish to have two men, it's that plain and simple. You're the OM (other man) in her life. I didn't know about that part until recently. Which is why I'm feeling misled.
Jilly Bean Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 I didn't know about that part until recently. Which is why I'm feeling misled. Well, then I would drop her because of the gross deception. How do you feel knowing you are having sex with her, while she's still sleeping with this other guy? She sounds like a tramp.
Author miami_q Posted August 23, 2008 Author Posted August 23, 2008 Well, then I would drop her because of the gross deception. How do you feel knowing you are having sex with her, while she's still sleeping with this other guy? She sounds like a tramp. We haven't talked in a week, since I found out. I got tempted to call tonight, hence my posting asking for advice. Thanks everyone.
Art_Critic Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Shes dating someone else. This is the only relevant fact.. She is someone else's woman.. move on..
Ronni_W Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Shes dating someone else. If the man shes dating knows what her and I do together, there would be a fist fight. Is she (supposed to be) in an EXCLUSIVE with the other guy? If not, there may be no dramatic fisticuffs, after all -- they may both be dating others. (Don't people do that anymore -- is it just all or nothing, in the world of dating these days??? -- And/or, does "dating" absolutely also mean "having sex with"??? Good lawd, I am seriously out of touch!) But. If I was casually dating one guy, and then started simultaneously casually dating another, no, I wouldn't feel it necessary to tell one about the other...not until someone started a "let's get a bit more serious"-type conversation. And I wouldn't feel I was leading one or the other on...nor would I feel led on, if the positions are reversed. And I'm not talking about having sex with a different guy every second night, either. But like I said, maybe I just don't know what "dating" means any more Jilly Bean is right though -- if YOU want an exclusive, ask for it.
whichwayisup Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 You've been with her and she didn't tell you upfront about seeing someone else? She led you to believe she was single? If this is the case, and now you've recently found out the truth - Let SILENCE speak. Don't call her. Let her call you and when she does, tell her, "I don't date, let alone have sex with a woman when she's already involved with someone else. Goodbye."
BentSpine Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 This is the only relevant fact.. She is someone else's woman.. move on.. I smell possessiveness here. After reading this I hope the OP keeps banging the lady GOOD just to make people realise that we never own another person. If someone wants to be faithful, they will be.
Lookingforward Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 You've been with her and she didn't tell you upfront about seeing someone else? She led you to believe she was single? If this is the case, and now you've recently found out the truth - Let SILENCE speak. Don't call her. Let her call you and when she does, tell her, "I don't date, let alone have sex with a woman when she's already involved with someone else. Goodbye." Since when is dating not being single? She's DATING, not living together or engaged and unless they have an agreement to be exclusive, she's not in a committed relationship either. I join Ronni in shaking my head at what "dating" seems to be these days.
JoeNewbie Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 I don't see anything fundamentally wrong with the situation - but make sure you don't invest more in this pseudo-friendship than she does. If she is dating someone else, so should you.
Art_Critic Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 I smell possessiveness here. After reading this I hope the OP keeps banging the lady GOOD just to make people realise that we never own another person. If someone wants to be faithful, they will be. It's not about possessiveness.. I'm the least possessive person on the earth.. She has a BF... She is with someone else.. she is also banging someone else.. Who wants sloppy seconds.. The OP should have more self respect than that...
BentSpine Posted August 24, 2008 Posted August 24, 2008 OK, I see your point now, Art Critic. Good. "Dating" to me means that you're unsure and haven't had the Talk about being exclusive yet. Does she make you feel good in general? If yes, then the advice to ask her for exclusivity seems worth listening to.
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