Lostgurl Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 My mom just called me and told me something that my daughter said the other night when she slept over. She always sleeps in my mom and dads bed when over there and as they were laying down for the night my daughter told her "When i can't sleep Grandma, I just talk to the ghosts." Then she named them off. Before she drifted off, she also told her " Grandma, I'll be happy when i die." What do you make of this? Her "ghosts" must be imaginary friends, was my first conclusion. What REALLY bothered me, was the second comment. She is six years old. Maybe she needs more attention? My mom really gave me the chills because she's a very superstitous woman, and she told me that young people can see that sort of thing, also to watch her, as kids that young know if they are about to die. I guess i'm just here looking for rationalization so i won't be so spooked by my mother's superstitions and all. She does it alot thoiugh. Me and my bf always hear her, she's up all hours of the night talking and whispering.
LoyalGirl Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 How old is she? Could she have seen a show or something that sparked her imagination? When I was little, I could've sworn that I saw ghosts, saints, burning bushes, and a million other supernatural things due to a strong imagination sparked by a daily dose of Catholic school...
Author Lostgurl Posted August 23, 2008 Author Posted August 23, 2008 How old is she? Could she have seen a show or something that sparked her imagination? When I was little, I could've sworn that I saw ghosts, saints, burning bushes, and a million other supernatural things due to a strong imagination sparked by a daily dose of Catholic school... She's not allowed to watch anything but family channel, and that is early in the day when just little tike shows are on. My oldest has a bad habit about talking about ghosts. Maybe that's where it came from. It sure put a chill down my back though. SOMETHING is up with her. Six year olds just aren't supposed to think like that... Dying??? That really concerns me.
Jilly Bean Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 When I was little, I told my Mom about a whole conversation I had with a deceased relative. Freaked her out. As I got older, I would spill my psychic visions. Eventually, everyone got used to it. To me, I would be thrilled if my little girl had second sight. I don't take her comment about dying as being a BAD thing at all! Quite the opposite. If she is channeling those that have passed, she is channeling very happy spirits. This is why she feels that the other world is not a bad place. Keep in mind, people are most psychically aware as children. If the gift is encouraged, she will grow with it. If everyone discourages her, it can be lost to a degree. BUT, I wouldn't be concerned.
Green Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 I always used to see monsters in the shadows of my closet, and my lamp looked like a screaming skelton face with the lights off when I was a kid. And I always asked questions like what happens when you die, and does it hurt will I be happy crap like that
Ronni_W Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 my daughter told her "When i can't sleep Grandma, I just talk to the ghosts." ..., she also told her " Grandma, I'll be happy when i die." She is six years old. Er...are you open to the possibility that your daughter actually is communication with her angels and spirit guides? In which case, she is likely also aware that she'd have to "die" to get to their, er, dimension/realm, which, by all accounts, is a wonderful place to be. But, pretending or assuming that is kind of what's going on, her "happy to die" isn't about giving up her physical reality or that she hates it here or is feeling uncared for -- it's a child's view like, if someone said she'd have to "die" to go to Disneyland...then yeah, sure, that'd be cool...and after that I'll come right back home to mommy and daddy. But all of that is a long stretch if it isn't part of your own belief system. If it helps you to feel...more relaxed?...less uneasy?...whatever she is imagining or 'seeing' is obviously completely loving, supportive and positive for her. There are a two books that came up in an chapters.ca search, both by Sonia Choquette: [1] The Wise Child: A spiritual guide to nurturing your child's intuition [2] The Intuitive Spark: Bringing intuition home to your child, your family and you. Googling 'indigo children' and 'crystal children' may also offer different perspectives. If I could, I would encourage you to encourage her connection with this part of her imagination or intuition. Either way, she is not in danger, according to her own comfort level and how she speaks about "them". We grown-ups just get freaked out cos we think of "dead people" and Hollywood's version of "ghosts & ghoulies"
lonelyandfrustrated Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 I wouldn't be concerned about it. Sure, it's freaky for a parent, but I've had experiences that lead me to believe that your daughter actually IS talking to the spirits (which are different from ghosts. Ghosts are scary, spirits are not ), most likely her guide, and this is why she is comfortable with the thought of dying. She knows there's peace and happiness there. I also believe that it serves no purpose to look for signs that she may be preparing for death, because if it does happen, you're powerless to stop it. I don't believe her comment means anything about imminent death, anyway. Relax, and try not to make her feel like she's doing something wrong, but with a child who is this peaceful, I doubt you could sway her opinion on afterlife anyway!
EnigmaXOXO Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 I guess i'm just here looking for rationalization so i won't be so spooked by my mother's superstitions and all. You’d be surprised at what children pick up and retain from just listening to adult conversations. Could be that your Mom’s superstitions (and/or beliefs) are being passed along to her. The more significance you place on it, and the more attention your daughter gets because of it, the higher the likelihood she’ll start elaborating on her stories because it gets a reaction. ( I can sleep in Grandma’s bed instead of my own.) My own daughter went through the same phase. As did I. Like my own Mother, I didn’t encourage it nor shut it down. I just went about as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Eventually she grew out of it all on her own without becoming terrified of her own shadow (and room ). I suppose if she were truly “gifted” rather than having imaginary friends or an over-active imagination (like most kids) ... we’d be watching her co-star on Ghost Hunters every Wednesday night! Relax, Mom. Don’t let Grandma give ya heebie-jeebies. Whether your daughter is intuitive or just going through a normal childhood stage will be revealed in time ... so long as no one makes too big of a deal out of it one way or the other.
norajane Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 She does it alot thoiugh. Me and my bf always hear her, she's up all hours of the night talking and whispering. Why is your 6 year old up at all hours of the night? What is keeping her awake so late? Or does she wake up in the middle of the night to talk and whisper? That would actually concern me more than the superstitious stuff. Kids have very active imaginations and they pick up a lot of what they hear from others, and parrot it back, without even knowing what they're saying or what the words mean. I wouldn't be concerned about that at all.
whichwayisup Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Maybe this is her way of wanting to understand what death is? Have you spoken to her about this stuff? she's up all hours of the night talking and whispering. Does she whisper to them during the day too? If so, ask her what they're saying and see if she'll tell you about it. Most kids have invisible friends and they outgrow it - BUT, if she's doing other things that are odd and out of character for her, then that's the time to be concerned and maybe take her to a Dr..But, so far it just sounds like she's enjoying herself, especially at night. PS - I saw the movie Hide and Seek afew nights ago so this stuff is fresh in my mind, so I hope I haven't freaked you out about taking her to the Dr..
D-D Posted August 26, 2008 Posted August 26, 2008 I wouldn't be worried about it. She is probably was just talking to imaginary friends. Just because she says she is going to be happy when she dies doesn't mean that she will die. If you believe in the supernatural, there have been thousands of reported cases of children being able to speak with ghosts (spirits...whatever you want to call them). She doesn't seem scared or bothered by the ghosts, so I wouldn't be worried about it. Maybe she has a special gift and is able to communicate with spirits. Not saying that is what is happening, but there is certainly much about this world that we don't understand.
Gwyneth Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 Interesting. My collegue's daugther is 4 years old and has conversations with her grandfather who died about 20 years before she was even born. Whta's even more facinating about this is that she knows things about her mother (this is her mother's late father) that no one has ever told her before. The daugther said her grandpa told her. Yeah, quite creepy, but I don't know what to say. I understand you're creeped out, but maybe you want to bring your child to a therapist and see what's going on? I know a lot of people are anti-therapist, but it never hurts.
quankanne Posted August 28, 2008 Posted August 28, 2008 I wouldn't doubt that deceased family members "visit" from beyond to reassure the ones they love that all is well. Even if the living relative never even knew the deceased one! as for your daughter mentioned being "happy" when she dies, don't see it as something too freaky, but consider it a reassurance that she knows she will be safe in death as she will be in life. We Catholics often pray that loved ones have a "happy death," meaning one which is filled with God's reassuring love and his graces, to a point where death isn't something to be feared but just the next step in the journey "home" ... this might not make sense if you don't have a similar spiritual viewpoint.
Fun2BMe Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Hearing voices is a classic diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia. I would take her to a therapist, and in the meantime keep her away from your mother since she is feeding into her condition in a negative way with her superstitions and implanting unnecessary fears about death which is a shame. I think your mother is trying to use your ill daughter to get attention and play with your obviously sensitive emotions and might be off the bonkers herself.
Ronni_W Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 That was an interesting point. Had me researching in a hurry . Apparently, schizophrenia is "...characterized by abnormalities in the perception or expression of reality..." But since children's worlds are chock full of imagination, fantasy, Santa and Easter Bunnies, anyway, it isn't too much a concern about a 6 y/o. (But if OP's daughter hasn't yet learned what is society's generally accepted "perception of reality" by her late adolescence/early adulthood, THEN that might need a trip to a therapist.)
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 The first thing I would do is to put a voice activated recorder in her room to decern exactly the things that she is saying. You will also be able to see the times that she is waking to talk. There may be some pattern to it. I do believe that children this age are desparately trying to figure out the world around them and with access to so many different perspectives in our culture I imagine it can be quite confusing. I would monitor the imput that your mother has just incase this is feeding some of this. Most importantly though, I would not make a big deal out of it to her. I would completely "ingore" it unless she wants to talk, while at the same time finding out exactly what she is saying at night and when. Good Luck, IWWH
whichwayisup Posted August 29, 2008 Posted August 29, 2008 Hearing voices is a classic diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia But that usually doesn't happen until the person is late teen or into their early 30's.
Author Lostgurl Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 The first thing I would do is to put a voice activated recorder in her room to decern exactly the things that she is saying. You will also be able to see the times that she is waking to talk. There may be some pattern to it. I do believe that children this age are desparately trying to figure out the world around them and with access to so many different perspectives in our culture I imagine it can be quite confusing. I would monitor the imput that your mother has just incase this is feeding some of this. Most importantly though, I would not make a big deal out of it to her. I would completely "ingore" it unless she wants to talk, while at the same time finding out exactly what she is saying at night and when. Good Luck, IWWH This is a good idea. I think that i'll try this.
Author Lostgurl Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 Maybe this is her way of wanting to understand what death is? Have you spoken to her about this stuff? Does she whisper to them during the day too? If so, ask her what they're saying and see if she'll tell you about it. Most kids have invisible friends and they outgrow it - BUT, if she's doing other things that are odd and out of character for her, then that's the time to be concerned and maybe take her to a Dr..But, so far it just sounds like she's enjoying herself, especially at night. PS - I saw the movie Hide and Seek afew nights ago so this stuff is fresh in my mind, so I hope I haven't freaked you out about taking her to the Dr.. Yes, WW, when she plays alone in her room during the day i hear her talking. I never payed any mind to it because i just thought it was a thing kids do. I'm going to pay alot more attention when i do hear it now. So far i haven't.
Author Lostgurl Posted September 6, 2008 Author Posted September 6, 2008 Why is your 6 year old up at all hours of the night? What is keeping her awake so late? Or does she wake up in the middle of the night to talk and whisper? That would actually concern me more than the superstitious stuff. Kids have very active imaginations and they pick up a lot of what they hear from others, and parrot it back, without even knowing what they're saying or what the words mean. I wouldn't be concerned about that at all. She has never been a huge sleeper. She has too much energy to burn i guess. She wakes up many times in the night. Sorry it took so long to get back to this thread. Being a mommy to a 7.5 month old is VERY time consuming
EnigmaXOXO Posted September 7, 2008 Posted September 7, 2008 She has never been a huge sleeper. She has too much energy to burn i guess. She wakes up many times in the night. I took care of my five-year-old niece for a time while her mother wasn’t able. She was prone to episodes of sleepwalking and what they call “waking dreams.” It was hard to tell sometimes whether she was actually awake or somewhere in between. She’d have conversations with herself sometimes (and one time with an invisible boy named Jamie) while sitting up in her bed. The fact that this mostly happens at night during sleep time with your daughter leaves me to suspect this might be another probable explanation to consider.
Author Lostgurl Posted September 8, 2008 Author Posted September 8, 2008 I took care of my five-year-old niece for a time while her mother wasn’t able. She was prone to episodes of sleepwalking and what they call “waking dreams.” It was hard to tell sometimes whether she was actually awake or somewhere in between. She’d have conversations with herself sometimes (and one time with an invisible boy named Jamie) while sitting up in her bed. The fact that this mostly happens at night during sleep time with your daughter leaves me to suspect this might be another probable explanation to consider. Yes, my gal is a sleep walker as well. I've tucked her back in many times while she was talking gibberish. Thanks. I guess i never really thought back and really remembered that she did that. But it still doesn't explain her talking in the day times while she's awake. I've always chalked that up to her just being a little kid that was great at playing by herself though. A great imagination. I still am waiting for the right time to talk to her about the whole death thing though. I've been dreading that. It hurts to know that your little one is less innocent than you've always thought. She has been my baby up until January.. she's still the big baby. lol.
dropdeadlegs Posted September 8, 2008 Posted September 8, 2008 Okay, I really should be in bed, but this thread intrigued me. Personally I absolutely believe in ghosts or spirits or whatever you want to call them. I also believe that we all have the ability, or sixth sense, to communicate with them, yet we shut it down. Probably out of fear. Children can either be encouraged or discouraged to grasp onto this sense. I remember little Haley Joel Osment in the movie The Sixth Sense proclaiming "I see dead people." It freaked his mother out, and it would probably be pushed aside even by a believer like me. Maybe I watch too much TV, but I believe in a certain psychic power that a keen person can communicate with. I do not have that ability, nor does anyone in my family that I am aware of. You've probably heard of clairvoyants. A clairvoyant tends to see visually; kind of like a video playing in their head. A clairaudient tends to hear voices and may very well carry on lengthy conversations. Your daughter may have a beautiful gift which I would not toss aside as freaky, but beautiful and special. I think I would encourage developing that gift versus shutting it down. While her speaking of being "happy to die" would certainly cause concern, I believe that she is simply not afraid of death in the way most young children are. It's presumptive, but I don't see her statement as a wish to die nor a premonition of her death, but simply as a lack of fear of dying. It's just my opinion, of course, but your mother's superstitions aren't bothersome to me and I can't imagine limiting contact with a grandparent unless your daughter feels the need to do so. 80% or more of the people I know would say my post is bunk or total bullcrap, so take it with a grain of salt as it's simply opinion.
littlekitty Posted September 9, 2008 Posted September 9, 2008 I'm absolutely with Jilly, Ronni and DDL here. It sounds very much like she might have a wonderful and precious gift. I would hate to see it discouraged. Children have the ability to communicate with the otherside, and as we grow we often lose it. I would be inclined to talk to your daughter and find out who she is talking to, and ask her about what they are talking about.
MixMinus Posted September 11, 2008 Posted September 11, 2008 Somebody wrote earlier to just ignore this unless the child wants to talk and the OP said "Good advise, I think I'll try that". Since when is it a bad idea to talk to your children about what is going on in their lives? Most importantly, since when is it a good idea to ignore your children and their emotional growth? As a parent you don't just kick back and wait for your kids to develop. You need to take an active role in that development. In this case, that means in a very casual, non-confrontational way, ask her what she thinks about ghosts and about death. Probe her for answers and look for her to tell you the same thing she told your mom. Then be prepared to ask her how she came to that conclusion and get in to specifics that you want to know. Then teach your child what YOU want her to know. After you do that, reinforce those lessons every day.
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