LionLover Posted August 31, 2008 Posted August 31, 2008 Yes I worry but that doesnt mean I cant have a relationship? Its good to be suspicious especially since he is divorced. I have seen a few counsellors. They dont really help - its a rip off. My issues stem from the fact that i havnt had a real relationship/I havnt live with anyone before. It's a rip off to you because you are not OPEN to it. Your issues do not stem from the fact that you haven't had a relationship, but rather you view a relationship as a means to a solution. You are what's referred to as a "Love Addict", google it.
Author so gutted Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][sIZE=4]When you are in love, you trust people who are not trustworthy. The rest of the time you have a hard time trusting people. [/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][sIZE=4]Ok - now i realise what you mean. I am in love with the notion of love and not appreciating the practicalities. I 'm not sure what to do about this? How do i exit this? I am normally sensible. I am now beginning to feel sorry for this guy im subjecting to this. [/sIZE][/FONT]
Author so gutted Posted August 31, 2008 Author Posted August 31, 2008 And what do you think the reason is you haven't had a relationship? I have had relationships -just not live in ones. I have met them once or twice a month for an evening or 2...got overly attached at the mention or chance of marraige.... I have also tried a few casual encounters - to try and take my mind of the ones that didnt wor. of course i ended up getting attached to them also. In many cases i lied about my details for a while and in the casual ones i stayed with the false details. I also didnt have sex in the relationships - hence i deem them not proper relationships.Now im too scared to have sex.
Author so gutted Posted September 1, 2008 Author Posted September 1, 2008 He hasnt called. Im getting bAd vibes. I made an effort to see him and he hasnt called. Do you think that he doesnt want to get committed in any way because he is recently divorced?
carhill Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Do you think that he doesnt want to get committed in any way because he is recently divorced? That would be a reasonable assumption, IMO.
Shygirl15 Posted September 1, 2008 Posted September 1, 2008 Do you think that he doesnt want to get committed in any way because he is recently divorced? No. He just doesn't like you, SG, why is it so difficult to get that into your head? I don't intend to be mean, but just because you're tall, attractive, thin and intelligent it doesn't necessarily mean he will find you a great catch for him. Believe me, his divorce has nothing to do with anything. Heck, I have had a guy who was just separated and wanted to commit to me.
djhall Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Do not listen to what anybody says to you [when you are flying] because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most likely to say something along the lines of "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!" It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right. H2G2 Love the signature Kamille.... I've hit the ground every time so far, but one of these days I just know I'm gonna miss!
Author so gutted Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Shygirl - i think thats a bit harsh. he DID call when you all thought he wouldnt... why would he do that?
Lucky_One Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Do you overanalyze EVERYTHING that you do like this? I mean, do you have problems getting dressed for work? Choosing what car to buy? Picking out food on a menu?
Author so gutted Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 No just men. He hasnt called since we met on Fri. Thats sat/sun/mon and tues - 4 days a bit long. but he did call on FRI when i thought he wouldnt. I think he is definetly looking around as he is not even texting me. Last week the work excuse worked on me - this week it doesnt. He previously said ( before i knew about his divorce) that we can see how it goes and then decide if we want to go exclusive....? this is clearly him saying he doesnt want to go exclusive. should i text him ?
Author so gutted Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 well - why not say ? u had an opinion now support it?
Lucky_One Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 No don't text him. You are acting desparate. He is just one guy after one date. Sheesh.
Shygirl15 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Because, perhaps I'm too harsh for you. But seriously, SG the way you behave is not normal. No wonder he's not calling you anymore, because maybe, he has also noticed what all of us have noticed about your character, and he doesn't want to get involved anymore.
Author so gutted Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 except that we had TWO dates. if he wasnt interested why would he arrange to meet again?
Shygirl15 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 if he wasnt interested why would he arrange to meet again? If he's interested, why hasn't he called you in four days? Look, he may not be so keen to commit especially since he's freshly divorced. He may want to look around a bit, and maybe he already has a couple of girls under his radar. His behaviour is not typical of a guy who's interested in a woman.
Shygirl15 Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Are you having problems getting dates, SG? I really don't understand why you're so hung up on one particular person.
Author so gutted Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 yep. so do i try and find out more or just speculate - get bitter and act weird when he calls? i just feel like im in limbo.
Author so gutted Posted September 2, 2008 Author Posted September 2, 2008 Are you having problems getting dates, SG? I really don't understand why you're so hung up on one particular person. well i liked him, there was chemistry....i dont have trouble getting dates - i have trouble liking someone enough to want to see them again....and in this case i liked him - an instant attraction. How do i exit this? Do i just leave it be - again? what can i do
carhill Posted September 2, 2008 Posted September 2, 2008 Next time you go out, grab his ass. That'll send the appropriate message
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