Arsenic_Child Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 Ok So Heres the Issue, my ex and i broke up because of Trust i made a post about what i should do about 2 weeks ago heres the link to get a better idea http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t161639/ (its long but please read it to get a better idea of the situation) Anyway, Last Sat (8/16) she texted me drunk. and kept telling me she didn't want to be alone as in sleep alone. i told her I'm sorry and that she was with her friends so she didnt have to sleep alone She didn't respond for about 10 mins, but instead AIMs me and tells me that shes coming over to sleep. i insisted this was a bad idea and urged her not to come because she was drunk and didn't want her driving. she said she was coming either way because it was either my house or her house (mine was closer) then quickly signed off. She showed up at my house like 20 mins later still wasted and drove... I told her that i was willing to sleep on the couch and she can have my bed, but she insisted i would lay with her in the bed. she told me that "just sleep together no hooking up" and that was fine because i just wanted to lay with her and didn't expect to hook up because she was drunk. I laid in my bed i wanted to hold her so bad but i couldn't then out of no were she grabs me to cuddle with her and i was kinda resisting and she told me "Hold me" so i did, we fall asleep in each others arms. she work up this morning and we laid in bed for 20 mins and she was still sober and seemed ok with holding me... Then I made the mistake of talking to her about the break up again On Weds (8/20) and she says "were not going to get back together because the hurt is to much, not right now, and every time we talk about it the hurt come back again even more. Now I Tried the N/C Approach and haven't talked to her since - because i feel guilty about talking to her about it because i didn't want to upset her or hurt her. I know she still loves me deeply but there is to much hurt. and i love her so much, but i just want advice on what i should do at this point because i'm so lost, I dont want to lose her at all, and i want to fix it, but at the same time i dont want to hurt her anymore (and if you read the Link, Jill is still outta the picture 2 months and counting except she somehow got my new number and contacted me drunk on Monday 8/18, so i told her again never to contact me again and lose my number and changed it again the next day)
Author Arsenic_Child Posted August 22, 2008 Author Posted August 22, 2008 Bump, because i really need advice on what to do!
Sunkissedgirl Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Im curious, do u think she has an alcohol problem? Somehow i think she is playing games with u. Why does it hurt so much? I must not have read your first message.
Katherineos123 Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 Jeeeeeez... What a mess! First of all, its a good thing you got rid of Jill because she seems a little scarry, and she seems to have some issues with men that are waaaay beyond your control. I wonder how she could have gotten your new number? A mutual friend perhaps? Either way, thats way to stalker-ish! Yeeesh! As far as Danny goes. I dont think what shes doing to you is very fair. She knows you want to give it another chance and she insists on refusing your advances, but then when she's feeling a little lonley or remorseful (alcohol induced or otherwise) she calls you up because she knows youll be there for her. Shes treating you like a doormat, and your adhereing to her every beckoned call. Sorry if Im offending you, thats in no way my intention, but sometimes you just have to hear it from someone else to see everything for what it really is. Danny is very confused right now. She seems to care for you very much, but she cant continue to do this to you, its not fair for either of you, you wont be able to heal this way, and she wont either. My suggestion to you is to not talk to or see her for a while. Try a solid month or two, and I think you should go complete no contact. No more texts, AIMs, Facebook, Myspace, FaceSpace .... whatever. This way your desire to have her will subside enough so that you can put everything into perspective, and Danny will get a chance to realize that A) Huh, this is what life is like when he's not around.... and B) Maybe he wont always be waiting for me...
m00nstone Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 This is going to sound cliched because it is, but she needs time to get over the hurt. Not just days or weeks, she may need months. I cheated on my ex and we started rebuilding our relationship, but when I asked about 6 weeks later (since he's moving away) if he wanted to get back together, he told me no. People who are hurt just need time. If she does love you, then time will give her the clarity of mind to make a decision about you. It may not be a favorable decision, in your eyes, but you need to prepare for that. In a sense, you also need time to rebuild your self-worth. I agree with Katherineos123. She's using you as a doormat. You are worth more than that, and at one point, you were worth more to her than that. Cut her off for a little while, and like I said, if the love you two have runs deep enough, then time may bring you back together, hopefully both as better people for each other.
Author Arsenic_Child Posted August 24, 2008 Author Posted August 24, 2008 well last night i was at a party and i caught wind that she thinks i cheated on her and apparently her best friend whom I'm also good friends with acts like she has proof of hooking up with Jill even though i did not. I truly don't think she is using me like a doormat it is certainly not in her personality
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