I'm not coping at all

[laars]

How the hell do I stop myself from wanting to die?

[Mending1985]

I think of all the other people in my life who would be so upset and disappointed if I wasn't here.

I think about my pets and how they would survive without me.

I think about the fact that if I'm going to die - it's going to be for something better than a broken heart.

 

I understand your feeling exactly. I'm on medication at the moment because I wasn't coping. Maybe counselling or something would help?

I remember how I used to feel, that total desperation inside of you, feeling like you're screaming on the inside and you just cna't see the point in going on.

 

Just be strong. This is the time to show yourself JUST how strong you can be. And you are strong, we all are.

 

Don't let another person have this much control over you, I'm sure you're a wonderful person who would be missed very much xx

[LateBloomer]

How the hell do I stop myself from wanting to die?

 

If you're envisioning specific ways to off yourself, it's time to head over to the ER or call some professional help that can help you right now. Family, if they're close by. No shame in doing that ... it's a medical condition just like any other.

 

Longer term, professional mental health would be good. Maybe even medication.

 

More to the point, if you're thinking of ending your life over another person, it means quite simply that there are very deep things about you that you're not recognizing or dealing with. This is a wake up call. Many people have reached that bottom and quite literally bounced back into shining glory (eg., Buckminster Fuller, Eckart Tolle, and many others).

 

Professional mental care can help you dig under the surface and maybe find those things. You need to be drug free though. The silver lining is that if you can dig deep and work on changing them, you can have a truly exceptional, wonderful life. Eventually you will attract people who resonate with you on a deep level.

 

Hang tough. Things may seem grim now, but grey skys do not last forever.

[replicator]

Laars, only you can answer that.

 

I felt the same way when I lost my relationship. Every morning I questioned why I was waking up, and going to work. It'll get better, believe it. You need time.

 

Read my signature below. It makes sense. There is meaning in everything, even suffering.

[citizen67]

I always think of this episode of Six Feet Under where this woman killed herself after her huband left her. And Nate was talking to someone about it, and said, "I just don't think the guy is that great" - I don't know why but it really resonated with me. If I offed myself over the ex, people would (justifiably) say "I just don't think that guy is so great, that he was worth killing yourself if you couldn't be with him"

[laars]

He really isn't that great. I mean we got along amazingly and i've never clicked with someone like that before but all in all he's not an amazing human being. I am jsut in love with him.

 

I don't think I want to top myself because i can't be with him. I just want this pain to stop.

[Mending1985]

Unfortunately Laars, it's just going to take time. And I know how frustrating that is (believe me - I am the LEAST patient person on the planet!) but it is true.

Sit and wallow for a while if you have to - I did. I cried every day for about a month. I didn't get out of bed. I lost my job. Then one day I woke up and went "You know what? Yeah this f***ing hurts, but lying here and thinking about it isn't going to fix anything. I need to get up, put a smile on my face and "fake it till I make it" " and eventually - it got better.

I still love him, miss him every day, but it no longer debilitates me.

Just be patient xx

[laars]

dammit i just contacted him. we don't have a NC rule but initially i sent him an email asking if he wanted me to drop his stuff off over the weekend (we only broke up Tuesday) or if it was too soon and this was the email I got back:

 

"I was just thinking about that. Maybe it is a bit soon? I mean we'll probably just end up upsetting eachother don't you think, not on purpose but just seeing eachother.

What do you think?

I'm ok I suppose, so glad its Friday. I hope you're ok."

 

Instead of just leaving it there stupid me told him that i want him so bad.

 

and he wrote back

 

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm hurting too. I don't want to hurt you any more and it sounds like seeing eachother will just make it worse."

[Mending1985]

Well he is right...seeing each other will be too difficult right now.

I mean, I'm not the best person for advice because I always jumped at any chance to see my ex, just to get that cuddle and a kiss that I was always welcomed with regardless of our relationship.

I guess you need to look at the bigger picture and give yourself some time to heal before you get some of the stuff.

If it's stuff you REALLY need, get someone else to pick it up, or ask him to drop it off when you aren't there...

[LateBloomer]

If you want to heal, then ... whenever you think you can do any of the following, but the first is pretty key:

 

- stop contact, each time you do, you reset the clock to zero

- exercise (as much as you can)

- yoga / relaxation

- old interests

- friends (new and old)

- family

- redecorate your house (bedroom in particular)

- work on yourself (this is complicated)

- make lists:

- gratitude (things you're thankful for)

- things you didn't like about him

- things that are GREAT about you

- things that you can do (now and in the near future) that make you happy

 

I'm not saying distract yourself so you can't feel. I'm saying use the above to process the pain. When I work out, I scream at the top of my lungs. My neighbors probably think I'm nuts.

 

Just my $0.02. It will take time, but some of the above can decrease the time.