shadowplay Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 This is a spin-off of the penis-poking thread, which struck a chord with me. Every relationship I've been in the guy has felt like once we're exclusive he has permission to grope me whenever he feels like, whether we're in public or not. My ex would even grab my ass or slyly fondle my breast in public. I've heard other women complain of the same thing. Why do you guys do this? If you're guilty of this behavior with your gf...stop! She doesn't like it. It probably makes her feel demeaned, like a squeeze toy. Just because she's sleeping with you doesn't mean she appreciates being fondled at random times when she's going about her daily business. If you want to show her affection, do something sweet like stroking her hair, holding her hand or kissing her on the forehead/cheek. Don't lunge for her first available girl part.
Green Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 maybe this is something you should adress with your man. Personaly if I feel like swinging a girl around by her hair in public thats what I'm going to do
zxcirce Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I....have to disagree. I love when my man sneaks in a grope every now and then, especially in public, it makes me feel like he can't get enough of me. If you don't like this kind of touching, tell him. If he keeps doing it, then you have a problem. I personally love it and it turns me on to be sexually touched, randomly or not, by someone I love.
Author shadowplay Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 I....have to disagree. I love when my man sneaks in a grope every now and then, especially in public, it makes me feel like he can't get enough of me. If you don't like this kind of touching, tell him. If he keeps doing it, then you have a problem. I personally love it and it turns me on to be sexually touched, randomly or not, by someone I love. I agree that it's nice to feel desirable, but at a certain point it gets irritating. You really like being groped in front of other people?
Sks Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I agree that it's nice to feel desirable, but at a certain point it gets irritating. You really like being groped in front of other people? Wouldn't you like being touched by the person your sleeping with?
Mustang Sally Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Interesting. I'm not a fan of participating in Public-Displays-of-Affection. Just not my thing. Now, I'm talking about kissing/fondling/groping in the grocery store, or at the kids' playground, etc. I don't mind it in, say...a dark movie theatre, or during an intimate dinner-for-two in a secluded booth in a nice restaurant, etc.
zxcirce Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I agree that it's nice to feel desirable, but at a certain point it gets irritating. You really like being groped in front of other people? Yes. I like to be touched inappropriately while we're out at dinner, or in the car, or walking down the street. I love to do it to him, too. And he loves when I do it to him. If I didn't like it, I'd tell him. That's where the problem lies, I think. We both do it and love it. If you don't like it, say "stop doing that."
Author shadowplay Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 Wouldn't you like being touched by the person your sleeping with? Yes, but not all the time...and especially not in public. I mean tender touches are wonderful, but I don't like being groped at every available opportunity.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Speak for yourself. My man and I flirt with and grope each other all the time in public, and I think it's hot.
hotgurl Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 well with my husband I love being groped he doesn't do it very often but it is sexy and flirty when he does it. And usually it is while we are being flirty. but one of my exes used to grope me all the time. It was so irritating, even after I asked he to stop. He is also the guy that used to try to have sex with my while I was sleeping or jerk off in bed right next to me. what an a$$
Green Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Yes, but not all the time...and especially not in public. I mean tender touches are wonderful, but I don't like being groped at every available opportunity. Olright well your aloud to feel that way, just don't turn it into a Men stop gropping your gf's issue, and keep it a shadow don't play with me issue
vonerik012 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Women I dated seem to like that more than I do..
Author shadowplay Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 Speak for yourself. My man and I flirt with and grope each other all the time in public, and I think it's hot. Well I guess more women are into it than I thought...
You'reasian Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Man, I love women who like to grope/fondle in semi-public places. Of course one should consider if there are youngsters around and if it would be appropriate.
GrnEyedGemini Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Olright well your aloud to feel that way, just don't turn it into a Men stop gropping your gf's issue, and keep it a shadow don't play with me issue Hmm...I believe she is allowed to turn it into whatever she pleases, as it is her right to say what she wants. And you didn't have to click on this thread or respond, as that is your right. I understand what you are talking about OP. There is a time and a place for such behavior. I don't mind being groped or touched by my bf. Usually I find it to be lovely...makes me feel wanted and sexy. However, there are inappropriate times that he will grab me, like at a little cousin's bday party, or in the same room with one of our parents. That's just uncomfortable as hell to me. Oh, and when he gets drunk he cannot keep his hands off of me. Ug. Lol...drunk people are not in the least bit attractive to me. And drunk groping can hurt! As in "My boobs do not come off of me...stop pulling on them! My ladyparts can get hurt by direct contact too!" Guys, its not that you should stop completely...just learn some tact and the appropriate when and where.
Alma Mobley Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I like a little PDA here and there too, and we often playfully slap each other's butts, etc. But an out-of-nowhere grope on my boobs is a bit startling. I do think if a man is doing this too often and it makes you uncomfortable, you need to talk to him about it.
Mahatma Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I am a male and am usually right on par when it comes to respecting my girlfriends. I wouldn't think an ass grab would be that bad, as long as it wasn't like a habitual thing. Just a little squeeze wouldn't be a problem I don't think. I am not much of a PDA person. I think making out in the mall is disgusting and I don't want to watch anyone else do it, BUT displaying affection in a public area where everyone else is oblivious to it is sexy. Whether or not you both find it sexy to grope eachother in public, most of the general public doesn't want to watch you guys.
Trimmer Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Olright well your aloud to feel that way, just don't turn it into a Men stop gropping your gf's issue, and keep it a shadow don't play with me issue Hmm...I believe she is allowed to turn it into whatever she pleases, as it is her right to say what she wants. And you didn't have to click on this thread or respond, as that is your right. As odd as I find it to be agreeing with KMT, I take his point to be that the responses in this thread demonstrate that the OP's feelings are not universal among women, and thus cannot be generalized as a rule for all men, as her subject line and her original post seem to do: If you're guilty of this behavior with your gf...stop! She doesn't like it. Having said that, it is clear that the OP has a problem, but its solution is not that all guys should stop this particular behavior to meet her standards, but rather that she needs to communicate clearly with her BF what her expectations and boundaries are. If she hasn't done that, and expects, out of exasperation, for him to read her mind because this is just the way all guys should be..." then that is her primary problem. If she does communicate clearly with him (and maybe she has already, in which case her exasperation is completely understandable,) and he is unable or unwilling to reach a meeting of the minds about acceptable behaviors and boundaries within the relationship, then at least it becomes very clear what the problem is at that point... Guys, its not that you should stop completely...just learn some tact and the appropriate when and where. Or, to put a finer point on it - both parties need to communicate clearly, and learn what is acceptable and where are the boundaries within your particular relationship. That's what it all comes down to. There's not a set of fixed rules for all guys, but it's not a mystery, either. TALK! Reading minds doesn't work.
Shygirl15 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I think the correct title of this thread is "Boys: Stop groping your girlfriends".. Men don't do that.
bish Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I agree that it's nice to feel desirable, but at a certain point it gets irritating. You really like being groped in front of other people? Well then tell him to stop. He just might stop. Then you will feel like he doesn't desire you, the whole "I'm not getting my needs met" thing will kick in then you can go out and cheat on him because he no longer touches you. And alls well that ends well.
trubella Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I....have to disagree. I love when my man sneaks in a grope every now and then, especially in public, it makes me feel like he can't get enough of me. im with you on this one. i like when my bf does it, dont feel like its demeaning at all, sometimes i do the same with him wether we're out or not.
Rooster_DAR Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 It's all about the execution and timing. Of course, you have to be into your man if you expect to enjoy those moments. Cheerio!
Trimmer Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I think the correct title of this thread is "Boys: Stop groping your girlfriends".. Men don't do that. At least 3 women posters have posted that they disagree with you, that they like their men to do that. Again, I don't devalue your feeling that you don't want your man to do that - you have every right set that boundary, and to be turned off by men who don't respect it, but based on the small sampling of posts in this thread, yours is not a universal feeling.
Rooster_DAR Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I agree, the fact that she doesn't like it sounds a bit suspect? I don't know, I'm just saying.
JackJack Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I think it becomes more of a problem when or if the person tells the other they don't like it or want them to do it again, and the person still does it after knowing how the other one feels.
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