Tryng2Trust08 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 ok..I have a question....my BF asked me about 3 weeks ago if I would be interested in going away for a weekend. It was over a text and I said yes, asked where, when, etc...He thought I acted uninterested and got really short after asking me, it was through a text. He has yet to mention it to me again. I really want to know if we are still going so I can make arrangments 4 my children. Im going to ask him tonight if we are going to go for this reason because Im trying to plan my month for Sept. Is this ok to ask???
stefspets Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Why wouldn't it be ok to ask? You should be direct with him and tell him that you didn't mean to cause confusion before--you are interested in going, you always were interested in going, and would like to make plans to go with him (i.e. making arrangements for your children). Don't allow any room for further confusion.
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 Ok, well, we got into our first fight a few nights ago. He decided to throw the trip in my face saying I didnt sound interested, I then said it was over a text message and I am interested. That had nothing to do with our fight, he just threw it in our conversation and I just moved on from there not mentioning it again cuz I hate bringing it up. Thats why I was leery about bringing it, but I am going to.
Walk Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I think your question is valid. You would like to know what his expectations and plans are for the following month and if those include you. I think that's extremely normal and important ideas to discuss. Does he get short with you very often? How long have you two been dating? I think if I were in your shoes, I would ask why he poised the question via text message. Seems as if he expected you to be excited by it, but then he used a medium that is notriously horrible for conveying emotions. I'd address that first, and I'd ask him to talk to you face to face rather then use text messages when he has something he feels is important to him.
Walk Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 You might want to ask him what's really bothering him? Seems like there's more going on there then is being said.
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 I think your question is valid. You would like to know what his expectations and plans are for the following month and if those include you. I think that's extremely normal and important ideas to discuss. Does he get short with you very often? How long have you two been dating? I think if I were in your shoes, I would ask why he poised the question via text message. Seems as if he expected you to be excited by it, but then he used a medium that is notriously horrible for conveying emotions. I'd address that first, and I'd ask him to talk to you face to face rather then use text messages when he has something he feels is important to him. No, he doesn't get short very often, Last night I said we got into our first fight, and I laughed. I went on to say what he said was wrong and he wanted to know what was wrong. I told him its not a good idea to bring it up again and he seemed to be getting upset. After him asking 5 times to tell me he gave up and we went on with the night as normal. We are having some communication issues.
Shygirl15 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I would try to stay away from the whys and hows, and just casually bring up the topic, then express your firm interest in going to this trip. Asking question about how he feels and all that, can very easily lead into another argument, as he may say things you don't want to hear. Infact, I think you deserve sometime alone with him, after all the misunderstanding that happened.
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 I would try to stay away from the whys and hows, and just casually bring up the topic, then express your firm interest in going to this trip. Asking question about how he feels and all that, can very easily lead into another argument, as he may say things you don't want to hear. Infact, I think you deserve sometime alone with him, after all the misunderstanding that happened. What do you mean, he may say things I dont want to hear?? I would like the truth, whatever it may be...
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 You might want to ask him what's really bothering him? Seems like there's more going on there then is being said. Walk, I have asked him if everything was ok, we are usually very open with each other. He thinks things are great, he said I create problems and he thinks there is nothing wrong.....so, Im just going on what he says.
Shygirl15 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 What do you mean, he may say things I dont want to hear?? I would like the truth, whatever it may be... I was referring to Walk's suggestion of asking what was bothering him. So what I meant was, if he expressed what was bothering him and it turns out to be something you did or say, the situation can easily escalate to everybody getting all defensive, then a fight. But if you're sure you can keep your emotions in check, then no harm in asking those questions..
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 I was referring to Walk's suggestion of asking what was bothering him. So what I meant was, if he expressed what was bothering him and it turns out to be something you did or say, the situation can easily escalate to everybody getting all defensive, then a fight. But if you're sure you can keep your emotions in check, then no harm in asking those questions.. O OK! No, I don't feel comfortable confronting him, like I said I have been nagging, and things are fine between us. I dont wanna cause a fight. But I am asking him about the weekend away for sure and I want a yes or no answer!
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