bremily Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 My wife and I are having some issues and it is causing real problems for us. We both have kids, but her kids are with us the majority of the time. They are 6 and 8.The problem is that her daughter is in our bed when we come to bed and more often than not her other daughter will come into the bed at some point in the night which for one makes me feel somewhat uncomforatble and secondly there isnt enough room in the bed and I end up having to sleep on the couch. I am not happy about this. Any suggestions as to how to solve this problem.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Well, the obvious question is: have you told your wife how you feel about this? And the obvious solution: put the kids in their own beds and put a lock on your door. I'm not a stepparent, but I imagine it's hard to know the boundaries of what rules you can or can not enforce on children who are not your own. But this is your bed, I think you have the right to enforce that boundary! If your wife is hesitant to get behind you on this, stress the inappropriateness of the situation. Would she want them to go somewhere else and sleep in a bed with a man who was not their father? And what if their father learns of this and decides he doesn't like it? He could cause real problems for her.
troubadour Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 My wife and I are having some issues and it is causing real problems for us. We both have kids, but her kids are with us the majority of the time. They are 6 and 8.The problem is that her daughter is in our bed when we come to bed and more often than not her other daughter will come into the bed at some point in the night which for one makes me feel somewhat uncomforatble and secondly there isnt enough room in the bed and I end up having to sleep on the couch. I am not happy about this. Any suggestions as to how to solve this problem. I would say that a divorce would take care of it... or else get used to sleeping on the couch. But you are not thinking about murdering yours wife daughters only because there is not enough room in the bed, are you? Bremily... answer the question!
MiVatoPorVida Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 My wife and I are having some issues and it is causing real problems for us. We both have kids, but her kids are with us the majority of the time. They are 6 and 8.The problem is that her daughter is in our bed when we come to bed and more often than not her other daughter will come into the bed at some point in the night which for one makes me feel somewhat uncomforatble and secondly there isnt enough room in the bed and I end up having to sleep on the couch. I am not happy about this. Any suggestions as to how to solve this problem. It's not necessary to talk about divorce at this point. Have you spoken with her about how you feel? ABout making you feel uncomfortable... I understand why. I have a daughter about that age, and I being the mother I wouldn't want my daughter sleeping in the bed with me while her stepdad is on the bed, especially her being in the middle. WHen you are not there it should be alright.... but she needs to know that once u hit the bed "ok girls, time to go to your beds". Talk to her about how you feel and about how it does make you feel uncomfortable.... if she loves you she will completely understand. Just don't make it appoint to have her choose between u and her daughters, cuz trust me, u will lose. Make her feel good and tell her how u want to spend alone time with her and hug her and kiss her. Now, unless she does it on purpose and doesn't want to spend that quality time with you. That is why u need to TALK to her and fix the problem before it turns into something big... and that shouldnt be necessary.
troubadour Posted August 23, 2008 Posted August 23, 2008 MiVatoPorVida... you are right that there is no reason to talk about divorce at this point but based on his posts (5) he has a tendecy to be quite a drama prince. At some point his wife will just run out of her patience... I think it is just a matter of time. This is how second marriages are.
Recommended Posts