clapyourhands Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I have been seeing my boyfriend for four months. As we're getting to know each other more and my emotions are growing stronger, I can't help but feel that we may have met each other a bad time in my life. This past year has been extremely difficult. My grandmother who I was very close with passed away, my sister and I are no longer on speaking terms, I'm unhappy with a new job, etc. I am in therapy now to try to address all of my frustrations and bouts of sadness. Throughout the short duration of our relationship, he has had to endure a lot from me. My mood swings, challenging him constantly, etc. Due to all that's eating me up inside, I keep doubting how he feels about me and have convinced myself he's only with me for company. However, he has not given me any indication to feel that way. In fact, he goes above and beyond to always try to make me laugh and feel at ease when I become upset. I guess me question is, without him saying "i love you," do you think that by him being so supportive and caring that he's saying he loves me? I heard that a guy will put up with a lot of crap if he really loves a girl. I just want him to always see the fun and happy side of me, and unfortunately I just can't be that right now.
Ronni_W Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I just want him to always see the fun and happy side of me, That is like saying that you aren't also completely lovable and acceptable when you are sad, angry, etc. And also saying that he doesn't have the capacity to love ALL of you...only those bits and pieces that you deem to be "good/nice". So, IMO, no that wouldn't be "love" at all, but something warped based ON CONDITION of the person always just acting "happy, nice & positive" -- but no person is JUST that, and no person can BE just that. It is unreasonable and unrealistic to expect self or others to act like "half humans" and want to hide our/their "shadows" and deny/repress our/their "negative" feelings and behaviours.
Kindle Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Ask yourself this - if he didnt really like you and in your own words, you have given him so much to endure with you - would he have stuck around if it was that bad ? My guess is NO ! When you love someone, you love all of them, not just the nice bits..
4dviceJunki3 Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 Some people are able to look passed certain things. He may see something in you so fascinating that whatever he endures from you, doesn't phase him at all. He needs to understand everything you're going through in your life and he needs to learn to be patient and just kind of "roll with the punches"; it seems as if he's doing that. I wouldn't necessarily call it "love" but more like the ability to see right through someone. Trust me, last thing a guy wants is to be with a girl that's dramatic and always causing him to stress out about things he doesn't even have anything to do with. I'm sure he's an understanding person and he's sticking around because he knows the grass is greener on the other side! =) Make sure you talk to him about this once in a while so that he doesn't start doubting his ability to be a good boyfriend and start having thoughts about YOU not feeling the same way for him as he feels towards you.
Recommended Posts