hellokitty55 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Just curious...Is it foolish/unrealistic for people in a relationship of a year or less to try to stay together when they go off to different colleges in different states? Does this actually work...has anyone done this but decided it was too hard or they grew distant? After how long did it take you to find out it doesn't work?
vanilla87 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Just curious...Is it foolish/unrealistic for people in a relationship of a year or less to try to stay together when they go off to different colleges in different states? Does this actually work...has anyone done this but decided it was too hard or they grew distant? After how long did it take you to find out it doesn't work? I've never had it happen, but my best friend dated her best friend (male), and then were in two different states. Still going strong, since he has one more year left and she is done, for now. They wrote letters, called, emailed, and saw each other when they were free on break at home. The first year was tricky, since they saw each other everyday in highschool, but they got past it. The only this is this: if you had sex already, thats where the complications come in the worried thoughts. But if you trust, are honest, and respect each other completely, then you shouldn't have a problem, but always always keep the line of communication open, never lie if you feel there is a problem, because the mature thing to do is talk about it. My best bet is, if your too worried, then see if the pros or cons out weighs one another, cause you need to see if this person is worth it 6 months to a year from now. Also college usually changes someone for the better or the worse, depending on what it was and why, but if you too love each other, then it'll work out fine, but its a 50/50 on it working out, just really sit down with this person and talk to 'em and see if you guys can work out a communication agreement during the weekends and nights. Oh and sending a text every morning is a good way to keep in touch and make him think about you when he has woken up. If there is anything else you need to know, just ask. *Oh and lastly, my best friend got engaged at the end of last month to the guy she was dating all that time they were away at seperate colleges...*
mizzy_C Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 I don't t hink going off to different colleges garantees a break-up. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6-7 months now, and he's leaving in a week and a half to go to his college 4 hours away. I'm confident we will stay together becase his course is only 2 years long. I think the longer you have to be away from someone the more chance you are going to break up. As long as you are both loyal and trust each other then i don't see a problem. Of course they are going to meet new people and make new friends, and you shouldn't get jealous over that. I think the reason people break up when someone is going off to college is because they get scared their other is going to cheat on them, or find someone better or be busy with friends and school and forget about them, so they get clingy and whiny about it and it just pushes the other person away. The other person needs someone who is confident about their relationship and lets them go out and have a good time without being worried. Becuase really, who wants a boyfriend or girlfriend 3, 4 5, whatever, hours away, getting mad at them or whining when they want to go out and have fun with their friends and enjoy college? Not me..
ElevenOfSpades Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 It can certainly be done. My BF and I hadn't been dating a full year yet when we went to colleges a few states apart. Now we're working on 4 years together. You just have to make sure that you're both willing to make time to talk to each other, because communication is even more important when you can't see each other. But, at the same time, you have to give the other person space to hang out with his/her new friends. It takes a lot of trust and patience, but you can do it.
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