bigmoney9595 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 OK, got dummpend by my GF not too long ago, 100% my fault (See previous posts). Basically I said a very cruel thing to her, only to hurt her - I don't think or beleive it for one second, and for all you people out there that beleive what is said in anger is what you really think that is simply not always true. Only did it becasue it's what her ex-husband use to tell her and the only thing that gets to her. Doesn't make it right, and yes I am a huge huge jerk for it. OK, it's been really hard for many reasons (becasue she is the love of my life - was with my last GF for 10+yrs and never felt one once for her like I do for Lily) but also because we see each other a lot, can't help it we work together. Well, she asked for space and time to heal, which I give/gave her. We do talk at work here and there through IM, and she's expressed her anger and hurt and how she's hates me for betraying her and in the next breath says that she wanted me and only me, doesn't know what she wants, that she wants me but doesn't trust me. Which I understand, and told her I'm willing to earn back her trust. I told her take all the time she wants and do what she needs to do. Then she goes into a panic that I'm somhow saving the IM's to use against her later??? to betray her again?? Then shortly after that she tells me she's leaving, so I ask if i can walk her to her train and she says if I want to - so I do (like the last couple of days and like we used to do every day) The last 2 times we just talked (i controlled myself) a bit then said good night. Yesterday she seemed to pause - and for some unknown reason I kissed her forehead, then her lips... she didn't really kiss back but also didn't push me away? now she wont answer my calls or texts.. where as she used to. What's going on? Did I screw up? what do I do now?
SadGuy99 Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 Wow, that was really really really really really really really really really really bad. You just equated yourself with her ex-H. Just wow. Yea you screwed up, like extremely bad. So how much do you know about her ex H? I suggest you do EVERYTHING you can think of to act the complete OPPOSITE of her Ex H. Do you get this now? In her head... you = ex-H I'm assuming her R with him was pretty bad. She is now going to look for reasons or ways you remind her of him, everything you do if its something he did you will pay for it. I'm not quite sure how you dig out of that, but its going to take a long time. If you know anything about ex-H and the stuff he never did for her I would suggest you get to work on doing nice things stuff that he wouldn't ever do. You need to differentiate yourself from him. You may not be able to fix this.
Author bigmoney9595 Posted August 22, 2008 Author Posted August 22, 2008 Yes I know a lot abotu the EX, she trusted and confided in me. He beat her, cheated on her all the time, they lived with his parents in a big million dollar home so she was under constant supervision, couldn't leave the house alone, was constantly insulted buy him and his family, wasn;t allowed to see her family... it was really bad. I an NOTHING like him... showed her once, will do it again... but for now I'm doign the NC thing. Had because we work together and sit just feet away from one another.. YES I was totally wrong..will show her/make it up to her if she allows me.
sedgwick Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 Wait, are the three threads in a row all about the same ex?
Author bigmoney9595 Posted August 22, 2008 Author Posted August 22, 2008 yes... different questions/topics/times
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