SilverEyeFox Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 this is a long story, but please just read. I've been dating this guy for about 10 months, but he has broke up sort of with me 3 days ago. He's been telling me we need to go back to being just best friends, but he's said he's not sure if we should fix our relationship or just be good friends. He has said he still loves me, and will always care for me, and always be my friend no matter what may happen. The day before he told me this i told him i needed to have a break because I need to figure out why i am unhappy and the relationship was giving me anxiety yah know. I've been having some probs with my father telling me i am useless,my best friend getting high the night before we had plans and calling me to last ,stupid fights with my boy, and my self worth. Which may have been pushed on by possibly hormonal imbalance. like the fights and stuff.So I told him i didn't want him to get mixed up in my probs right now and didn't really explain to well. he asked how long is it going to be, i said 2 weeks tops. he said ok, well.. i think i am going to go now if u don't mind.. The last 3 weeks we were together we were getting into fights about things i said and things he has done. Ok for ex. We were hanging out with his friend Hammit. we were in both different cars at the time. i got annoyed with feeling lost because he was telling me to go here then there. later on Hammit his friend was kinda being obnoxious and i told him like why are you saying things like that? and he said it was a joke and i was like just don't say that stuff around me yah know. we just had sushi and were going to my car, my bf was walkng a little be hind me. and theses black guys come up, they were holding vodka, and they ask me is that your boyfriend, i said no just to see what they would say and also as a joke. and they keep asking me **** and they were asking me again so is that really your bf or your brother? I said yes this is my jew boyfriend being sarcastic with them. My boy just stood there not saying anything. hammit was saying oh hell no. they eventually left. later on my boyfriend ask me if i was ashamed of him, I said no i wasn't! (serious i wasn't)and i asked him why are u asking me that? and he told me about this and said even if it was a joke it hurt him and that he's not going to get over easily. i told him i was sorry and how i didn't want to him because of that and they didn't mean anything to me. And after awhile he kept talking about it then i finnaly said, well yah know if you don't remember what you did to me? if I did that to you it wouldn't be the same. He had cheated on me emotionally with this chickfriend and what made it worse her a boyfriend that was a closer friend to him. AND the next day we were going to a trip to newport with BOTH ON them. it's a really f***ed up sqaure. or at least it was. i can't remembered what was said after word. but it didn't matter to much now. all of this going on with my father yelling at me, crying over my friend hurting my feelings because she was to high to call me back in time, and then him being sad, made me really sad about everything and how i was being so stupied with what i said. I felt like cutting myself. but never told him untill later how i really felt. we have gotten in to other fights about her because she was on his top whatever he has on myspace. Then the last day i saw him when we were still together i made him dinner that night, we were talking normally, sitting, and watching tv. and he ask me is there somthing wrong? i was like sort of.. but you have to listen to me, and just listen ok. he said ok. and i started to tell him how i really felt about her being there, and how it hurts how she is still on there, and her default was of her in this bathing suit, and she has this perfect body, and it just reminds me how he wanted that and what had happend. and he just said well i haven't seen the picha. and i was like idk i just want you to get rid of it yah know cus it just reminds me. it just makes me want to kill myself when i see her like that. and he just kept on saying he hasn't seen it and doesn't care about her, and he just kept on interupting me, and i just got emotional, and he told me ok i am leaving. he got up walked into my kitchen stopping and stood in there with his head in his hands. i just stared at him, and i couldn't help but cry. he slowly walked back, and sat down and said come her. but i just ignored him, but after a few mins of crying i went to him. he ask me what i wanted to do, i told him delete the bitch yah know. he was like what else do i need to do. i just told him, just call me and talk to me, be romantic sometimes. afterword we talked about my happiness and what i wanted to do. he gave me 100 dollors for a gym member ship i've told him before all this i wanted. After he did that i embranced him happily crying saying thank you. the nest day afterword, i just told him, like i just need to be away from a while thats when i told him about the break. and the break up happend. I feel like he's like semi saying someone else can take my/your place. and now I've been wondering what to say to him because he has talked to me everyday, sometimes him calling me, i calling him. He knows how i feel about him about how this is not what i intended, and i told him yah know i do still love you. that hasn't ever changed. after word he told me i love you still too.yet he still doesn't know what he wants if we should fix it or not. and idk how to go about it cus he has showed he cares still by calling me and telling me to call him before and after i saw my doc. today about my hormonal imbalance and my depression. and told me to call him whenever i need him and he would be there. you see people. I'm really confused, i need some serious advice because i love this guy, my gut is telling me he is the one. please me!
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 i saw my doc. today about my hormonal imbalance and my depression Get this sorted out first before you try to get back in a relationship. It is most likely your issues that are causing him to 'not be sure'. Let him know you are taking the break to sort these out, and then really do so. Take your meds, exercise, follow your dr's orders and get yourself more stable and feeling better. Then, you'll be better equipped to handle a relationship and he may well see that your issues are manageable now and perhaps he will be more 'sure'. Let him know you need him in your life to get you past this hump. If he refuses, or continues to mistreat you then you will have to walk away. Depression doesn't get better when there are situational things in your life making it worse.
Author SilverEyeFox Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 Get this sorted out first before you try to get back in a relationship. It is most likely your issues that are causing him to 'not be sure'. Let him know you are taking the break to sort these out, and then really do so. Take your meds, exercise, follow your dr's orders and get yourself more stable and feeling better. Then, you'll be better equipped to handle a relationship and he may well see that your issues are manageable now and perhaps he will be more 'sure'. Let him know you need him in your life to get you past this hump. If he refuses, or continues to mistreat you then you will have to walk away. Depression doesn't get better when there are situational things in your life making it worse. yes He does know about how i am going to the doc. he has even tried help finding me a therapist even after the break-up or whatever it is and said he will even offer the pay some of it, if needed. I've told him already why i wanted the brake, and he just put it into a different level. But i see what you are trying the say. Thats what I've been wanting to do all along, and not him to get wrapped up in it or blame himself. I've been trying to improve myself like exercise, talking back with friends, and just trying to get on my own 2 feet and find a better job (which i am doing today). Idk I just hope he stands by he like he has said.. he said he will always be there..
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