Marty Man Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Hey how's it going you guys, My name's Martin and I just wanted to share my first love experience at 19years of age and I also want to know what you guys think of it, if it's not too much trouble. This was my first real relationship with the opposite sex and my first love as well. It started off pretty great we were friends for 2months before I asked her to be my girlfriend on my birthday she said yes, I was thrilled and that night I got my first kiss, it was a rather memorable experience to say the least. The relationship was flourishing for about 3months no arguments, not even tiny ones, whenever we were together we felt as though we completed each other because the reason why I wanted her to be my girl was because of her personality it matched mine a lot but I'd be lying though if I said it wasn't the initial attraction of her beauty that lured me in though. At the peak of the relationship she had to go to mexico for a month because her uncle there is a doctor and she has endometriosis, needed to get surgery done. It was only a month but it felt like a year, everyday felt like it would never end. A week after she came back, we started having problems after our first argument came (which we thought was pretty funny since we never had one before), Couple of days later we argued again, by the 3rd one she was telling me that she had, had enough with those with her ex and that if it continued she would eventually leave the relationship. She tried her best not to let her past relationship effect ours (Even though It was me that was unknowingly causing the turmoil) but she left her ex which she was supposed to get married to and move to San Fransisco so that she could go to US Davis with Him but she left all that for me and plus she's been with her ex on and off for 3years so I really couldn't blame her for feeling that way. What made things worse was that I missed her so much for being away, that I spent too much time with her to the point were I'd be falling asleep on the job and then when I'd come back, I'd be wanting to hang with her again until the wee midnight hours, I lost so much sleep and to make things worse I was smoking marijuana everyday, probably like 3 or 4 bowls a day. It's kind of funny when I think about it cause I was actually planning to quit bud once I officially had her as my girl but before I did, I got her into it and I didn't want to seem boring and just quit while she was having fun with it so I kept on blazing with her This combined with my lack of sleep caused me to become cranky and I'd sometimes yell and become defensive over stupid little things. Eventually the arguments started getting worse until she finally broke up with me. She stayed with me for about 2 months as if we were still together, my biggest mistake though at this point was trying to blame our relationship problems on me smoking too much. Ive been smoking weed for 3years before I met her. She liked it at first but after I gave her a brownie (Didn't think anything would happen since I only gave her half) she started feeling paranoia and an impending sense of doom and because of this She started having a prejudice against pot heads and me blaming our relationship problems on weed thinking that just by quitting that everything would be back to normal....just made things worse. Eventually it came to the sad conclusion that she didn't want to be with me anymore. I was so devastated at the time that I was down on my knees grasping her legs with tears, begging her to stay. She took my hand and pulled me upright and said that she needed to be firm with her decision. It wasn't until this point that I realized how precious love was and how I took it for granted. Just note that I don't cry on purpose, try to make myself feel sad or any of that emo stuff I just can't get her off my mind its like no matter what I do I keep thinking of her, It's been 3months, she does not call me nor pick up my calls were still friends but not the friends we started off to be. I guess forgetting someone you used to love is never easy, Especially when your so lost in life that you keep thinking of the one person that made you feel right in place but in the words of my favorite rapper -That's just the way it is.
replicator Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 Hey Marty, I know you're hurting right now, but be thankful you got to experience romance, and that you're still young and have so much more opportunities to meet others. Think about what you've learned from this relationship, and take responsibility for your faults, but know that it takes two.. You may have made mistakes, but nobody is perfect, and had she been the right one, you would still be together. Now is the opportunity for you to better yourself.
Author Marty Man Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 Thanks a lot replicator, I know what you mean by that, It was a nice life experience none the less but I'm just trying my best at this point to forget about this but at the same time its hard when your getting nightly dreams of her in your better days together, eh it's what I have to deal with I guess. loneliness is something Ive gotten used to way before I met her but once you get a taste of a lush unity its hard to go back, but its all coming back to me now, I thank ye for they support.
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