Author audrey_1 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 You used the word "care" which tells me that you're just a hair away from being completely in love and you are projecting the same meaning of the word ("care") on his statement. I am trying not to do that. I'm trying to keep it logical and reasonable. I am trying to take it at face value. Truly. We've spent time together. I mean, it's probably been time above and beyond the scope of regular, platonic friends, but... It's nice to know your friends care, right? Since you're aware that he's keeping you at a distance, there is no need to admit your feelings and get hurt. He wants you to show more feelings, while he's keeping distance. I believe that hi statement is a certain step forward, but not enough for you to surrender to him. If I were you, I would do the same as he does, no more. Don't be the first one to say "I love you." The thing is, the truth about his feelings for you is somewhere out there; and if you knew that he had no deep feelings for you, you would probably back off and move on. Well yes, if I knew with certainty he had no deep feelings for me, it would be rather humiliating to stick around. I am waiting to see whether something else comes up. Though I did send him an email a couple days later telling him that I did hear him when he said it, and that I realized I blew him off. I told him that I knew it took guts, and that I would work on it in the future. Also, I told him that when he asked me if I was seeing other people, it was true a few months ago, but lately I hadn't been seeing anyone (at the time, I said "yes, aren't you?"). I didn't elaborate, but kept it that simple.
Ronni_W Posted August 25, 2008 Posted August 25, 2008 Audrey, I really think that you've found an excellent balance between being honest about where you are (emotional intimacy) and, at the same time, not opening yourself up to the point of emotional vulnerability! Have you started writing a book on how to do that, so you can help millions of others who may be facing the same dilemma???
Author audrey_1 Posted August 25, 2008 Author Posted August 25, 2008 One of the the things I pride myself on is being independent. If this is really true, then I have to be okay whether this relationship does or doesn't work out. Would I like it to? Absolutely. Does he give me the warm and fuzzies? Uh huh. Like no one else. But it can't make or break me. It's so hard. No one has ever put a pace on a relationship with me before; they've all wanted to dive right in, and maybe, in retrospect, it's why they've all failed. I hope that he understood that I appreciated his effort, and that I wasn't putting any pressure on him. It was as nonchalantly heartfelt as possible.
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