jmmm Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 just a question do you think sometimes depending on the break up---the talk of exchanging belongings back hasn't occurred in order to leave communication open or as a way to show maybe this isn't final? if you read my current thread..he broke it off leaving me heartbroken, called my friends b/f the night before he was leaving for something to see how i was, and my things are still there....
Melrapuo Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 When I met up with my ex a couple of weeks ago, I had asked for my stuff back. She didn't put much of an effort into really looking for my stuff when I got there. She kinda wandered for a minute or two, said she needed time to find it (which meant that at some point I'd have to come back and get it). It's still a line of communication, but at the same time it doesn't mean they wanna get back together. It could mean that, if they wanna try again, they have an excuse to invite ya over or something. Or if they just wanna hang out with you when they're lonely. If you want your stuff back, but don't wanna talk to them cuz it gets you nowhere, ask a friend to get the stuff for ya. That's what I did. Still waiting on him to actually get it though...
Mending1985 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 When my ex dumped me, he gave me all my stuff back straight away. Afterwards when we were still sleeping together, everytime I tried to leave something there he wouldn't let me because he knew it was an excuse for me to have to come back. So if your ex hasn't mentioned giving your stuff back, it probably is a way to keep communication etc open. But yeah if its definitely over for you, ask for your stuff back asap.
Author jmmm Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 i feel like he isn't truly a bad guy and i donot think he has bitter feelings for me or even anger towards that he is thinking "i'm going sh*t can these things without a second thought" it sad..but this has given me a tiny shred of hope it isn't over.. pathetic, i know..
Mending1985 Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 It's not pathetic. Personally, I would just come out and ask! And then take that answer as final and decide where to go from there.
Melrapuo Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 When my ex first left me for someone else, she gave back most of my stuff when I asked for it. That was obviously a fling/rebound, cuz it didn't work. She left him afterwards. But when I asked for the few things that she still had, she hesitated. In fact, she has yet to say "Hey, I found your stuff. Here's the rest of it back." Doubt its a turn of events, but its interesting, none-the-less. I can't get a clear reading on her, but I know that previous attempts from me to figure things out have resulted in nothing. So I'm not looking too much into it. There's always a chance of hope. Just don't depend on it. If you need stuff back, politely ask for it or get someone to get it for ya. See what comes out of it. But if talking has only brought you pain, wait for a bit on getting the stuff back. Unless you're completely done with him; in which case, get that stuff back ASAP thru a friend.
Author jmmm Posted August 21, 2008 Author Posted August 21, 2008 hey Mending, thanks for writing =) appreciate it well i feel like i may have contacted him enough..i was crying on the phone when he ended it, i texted him over the next two days saying things we can do to make things better and to not give up..he texted me back, i called leaving a message sounding upset but asking for closure..he texts me saying he wasn't up for talking right now; but we will....that was almost two months ago he wrote that to me and he still hasn't contacted me...he called my friends b.f a few weeks ago the night before he was leaving for something (we broke up before i got to know the dates he was leaving and in one of my texts to him after he ended it was you will be going away which will be good for you and after it will be alot better)...so that kind of made think it was a little significant and meant something him calling the night before..its been a few days that i think he is back and i still haven't heard anything
Treasa Posted August 21, 2008 Posted August 21, 2008 You keep posting the same thing over and over again, hoping someone is going to conclusively tell you that, yes, he wants to be with you again. But here's the thing - he's the only one who knows if he does. And if he did want to be with you again, he'd tell you. So until that day happens, stop worrying about it. I don't think you'd be able to make it work again anyway, because you're extremely insecure and obsessive. Please take some time away from thinking about this dude and just focus on yourself.
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