Im married and Im worried It was for the Wrong reasons

[mercedes1191]

Ok so here is the deal. I met my husband about 5 months ago and we got into a relationship pretty quickly. I fell deeply in love with him and I thought he felt the same for me. A month and a half into the relationship I found out that he was still in contact with his Ex and we almost broke up but he severed all ties with her and he said that he didnt want to hurt me and didnt want to be with her and that that relationship had ended. Well I forgave him and about a month later I moved in with him. We decided to get married that month and had a Vegas wedding just the two of us.

 

The problem is is that we have been married now its going to be two months and there are some problems that I cant seem to put to rest.

 

1. he's never said that he loved me. He claims that he is not an emotional person that I should know the answer if he married me, and that I might never hear him say it.

 

2. He is a fit person. he isnt Hot but he is cute and he is skinny. I am not. I am not HUGE but I do have a belly and he is constantly telling me that I should loose weight and that everyone else he has ever dated was skinnier than me and he has also told me that he had to adjust to going out in public with me because he's never been with a heavy girl.

**** I haven't gained weight since I started seeing him I actually lost 10 lbs since then so its not like I got fat after he met me...

 

3. We went out to go get his daughter from his ex's house and dropped me off at a store "to get curtains/to kill two birds with one stone" while he picked her up. Coming back from the visit he wanted me to get out of the car and wait for him at a video store while he dropped her off. I refused because all I was going to do was stay in the car. He got extremely upset that I wouldnt get out and said that if I cant go by what he says that I wont see his daughter anymore.

 

4. He is an Immigrant and I am a US citizen... so this is worrying me that he might only want to be with me for his papers though he always says that its not about that.

 

5. He can have a nasty attitude sometime and can be very sarcastic.

 

Anytime i bring these things to his attention he says im overreacting, that i should just stop giving him problems and keep it to myself, and that if i was so unhappy that I should just leave that he isnt keeping me there...

 

6. when its our day off together he rather watch tv all day and not be with me.

 

BUT

 

I LOVE HIM and he has done some pretty good things for me. He bought me a car, he cooks for me on his days off, if i need money he gives it to me with out me having to ask, he is occasionally romantic, and I know he isnt cheating.

 

All these things affect me and Im at breaking point. I dont know what to do. I know I can leave but Im so afraid to loose him, I love him soo much..

 

I NEED ADVICE

[Moose]

Marriage is taken to lightly now and days.....

 

My opinion? The best thing to do is to get the marriage annulled, give the car back, and move out.

 

You're heading for a huge mess, I know you don't see it right now with this, "lust" in your eyes, but believe me....you didn't know this man when you married him.....the longer you stay, the bigger the mess....

 

Re-evaluate your mate before you get married again....and for cripes sake, don't move in until the preacher pronounces you as wife....

[EnigmasMuse]

Honestly it doesn't sound good or real healthy to me. Maybe an annulment?

[mercedes1191]

I know I should leave but I just moved to California and I have no where else to go. I just wish he would understand where I am coming from when I say things to him. I am way under and don't even know how to aproach leaving..

[lonelyandfrustrated]

Oh my lord, you're me, 15 years ago. This is what I would have said to me:

 

Get out. This man is emotionally abusive.

 

In my case, it escalated from there to physical abuse. How I left was by credit card. I snuck out at 5am, grabbed a cab to LAX, and hopped on a plane to my momma. He ended up in prison for shooting the gal who came after me.

[Rorocher]

I know I should leave but I just moved to California and I have no where else to go. I just wish he would understand where I am coming from when I say things to him. I am way under and don't even know how to aproach leaving..

 

Where were you before you met him 5 months ago? so go back there, you have someplace else to go.

 

You got in over your head, it happens but good for you for realizing this 5 months in and not 10 years, 3 kids and a mortgage later. Run run run and don't look back, please.