Anyone separated/divorced to begin relationship with OM/OW?

[breakingdawn]

I was just wondering if there was anyone here who had separated/divorced and began a relationship with the other man/ other woman? How did this go?

[TrustInYourself]

Wonderful for the first two weeks. Then you start to wonder. Then you face reality, rather than the obscurity of the fog.

 

Don't be lame.

[breakingdawn]

Wonderful for the first two weeks. Then you start to wonder. Then you face reality, rather than the obscurity of the fog.

 

Don't be lame.

What do you mean? This is an honest question.

[TrustInYourself]

What do I mean? Which part is unclear?

 

The fog? Being lame?

 

Let's just say right now, since you are not done with your marriage and your wife isn't completely out of the picture. Your perception of your relationship with the OM/OW is very different from what it will be like when you are done with your marriage.

 

The thrill and lust fade. What will you have left when that goes bye bye?

[troubadour]

I have been an artist for over two decades and infidelity runs rather high in artistic circles so I have seen "tons" of it in my life at close range. Based on waht I have seen I would say that about 80% of relatioships like you mentioned ends within the first year. Within a period of two years 90 ~ 95% will be done.

 

I think they say that statisticly there is only about 6% of chance to have any kind of sustainable relationship in situation like the one which you describe. I would say that this number appears to be more less correct.

[Crestfallen_KH]

Well, my ex-husband, who had always been a devoted and loyal man for as long as I'd known him, fell in love with a married co-worker in two weeks and three weeks later moved in with her. Both the wasband and his OW shed their marriages quickly.

 

This happened about a year ago. They started living together right away, but despite the statistics, the lure of "the fog," or the supposed trouble "dealing with reality," they remain together. Although it's not common, it does happen, and more often than people like to admit.

 

But, unlike in your situation, neither of these people (well, I'm not sure about her) are serial cheaters. Unless serial cheaters fix what's broken inside of them and break the pattern, they'll continue to put the expectations on external sources (who will invariably come up short as time goes on) to fill their needs.

 

So in your case, yes, I would say it's highly unlikely this relationship will be successful without any therapy on your part.