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What are you doing for yourself?

VAmama

By VAmama
in Coping

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VAmama Established Member

VAmama

Posted
Posted

I've been trying to think of things to do to fill the time that I use to spend w/my ex. Here's what I've come up with:

 

1) Joined a flag football league. Plays on Saturdays.

2) Joined a bunch of social groups on MeetUp, but have yet to RSVP for an activity

3) Joined Netflix

 

That's it. I just started going to the gym again after a week off, but it's hard... . the lack of eating and sleep has really killed my energy levels. I can normally do 3.5 miles jogging on the treadmill, but was only able to do 2 on Monday....

 

Other things I am thinking of:

 

1) Joining a Sunday kickball league to get some exercise and meet new people

2) Taking a sailing lesson

3) Doing kickboxing and/or yoga Wed evenings at my gym

4) Do pub poker on Wed (not sure on this one; my ex got me into poker, and I enjoy playing, but I'm afraid doing it on my own may be a subconscious way to keep my tied to my ex)

5) Get a facial, man/pedicure, and massage

6) Spend time w/ parents when in town

7) See friends more

8) Join a running group

9) Take tennis lessons in the winter

10) Plan more activites w/son

 

What about you? what are you doing? Is there something I should be doing?

LateBloomer Established Member

LateBloomer

Posted
Posted

Well, I've been trying to do a bunch of different things too, which include:

 

1. Trying to be more productive at work (not easy)

2. Volunteering for Computers4Kids

3. Yoga

4. Working out more, biking to work, jogging

5. Reconnecting with old friends (often sparse though), am going for a MC ride with a lady friend tonight (no romantic thing there, just someone good to talk to).

 

Things I have planned:

 

1. Reconnect with my old interest in Math

2. Follow up on some new career research (aerospace for me)

3. Buying an iPod and getting serious about collecting music again

4. Try to get some research back off the ground here at work (I've been stagnant in that area the last couple of years ... and am 50% research in my jobdesc)

5. Playing keyboards / piano again (let it fall away over the last 10 years)

6. Get out into nature more, but prefer hiking & camping w/ friends. So maybe join a local outdoor social club they have here

7. Tutor myself on some 3D rendering software (fun hobby)

8. Get a pilot's license (always wanted to, related to career stuff)

9. Get better at chess

10. Learn some good, effective meditation skills (hard because all I can think about is my ex atm)

11. Redo my bedroom a bit more

12. Clean out my shop space in my home

 

So you in VA? Whereabouts?

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VAmama Established Member

VAmama

Posted
  • Author
Posted

latebloomer- I'm in NoVa.

 

Redo the bedroom is a good one. I gotta add that to my list. It's been hard to sleep in my bedroom b/c I just think of how he's not there. Thinkin' I need to move some of the furniture around, get some new pillows, a mattress pad, curtains.... maybe a few pics. make it feel different somehow.

RogueAC Established Member

RogueAC

Posted
Posted

Hi, this is positive thread! These are some great ideas to help keep busy. Thank you for sharing.

 

5 days since the breakup. I am realizing that physical activities are helping a lot. I have been doing lots of different things to keep me busy, including:

 

  1. Joined a new gym.
  2. Playing sand volleyball.
  3. Going for long walks.
  4. Spending time with close friends—especially helps to have activities like nights out, bbq, etc.
  5. Spending time with and talking to family nonstop.
  6. Playing with my 5 month old niece.
  7. Learning everything I can about dealing with heartbreak and loss.
  8. Watching and falling asleep to movies that I love (no romantic movies!!!).
  9. Working.
  10. Reading the news (it helps provide perspective).

Things that I will do (in addition to the above that I am already doing):

  1. Work on my self-esteem.
  2. Redecorate/paint my apartment.
  3. Take yoga classes at my new gym.
  4. Get a massage.
  5. Take a recreational class in fall – not sure what yet, cooking maybe?
  6. Start speaking Spanish again.
  7. Join netflix or get a blockbuster card.
  8. Maybe get a pet?
  9. Buy more plants and fresh flowers.
  10. Learn to accept myself and my life.

LateBloomer Established Member

LateBloomer

Posted
Posted

Yeah, need to add to that list ...

 

1. Work on myself

 

which does most definitely include

 

2. Building self esteem

 

I'm in CenVa ...

 

PS. Go buy nice new sheets. That helped a bit for me. Still need to redecorate more. Sleep has been a big problem for me during the last five weeks.

0hpenelope Established Member

0hpenelope

Posted
Posted

  1. Yoga
  2. I involved myself with my club's annual production.
  3. I made new friends - friends who don't have a connection with Lawrence.
  4. Gym
  5. Made time for my favorite hobbies again: playing video games.
  6. Read news again.
  7. Deleted my Facebook account - because social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace are additional, unnecessary impediments. Hand me a phone and my real friends' phone numbers anytime, if my purpose is to keep in touch with friends.

 

I still need help, also. Here's my to-do list:

 

  1. Continue seeing my counselor at our student health center.
  2. Work on raising my grades so I can get into Pharmacy school.
  3. Stop my moments of dwelling on things (this is sort of related to #1. My counselor and I are pretty close now).
  4. Continue working on adjusting to the fact that Lawrence is totally out of my life now. And that feeling of wanting to know concretely what he's up to will do no good. :sick:

Ingenue Established Member

Ingenue

Posted
Posted

One of the things I do (which I did before break up) is work out every day. Another is reconnecting with old friends and seeing my friends more. Other than that, I haven't joined new clubs or remodelled my apartment or even taken up new hobbies. Instead, I'm trying to process the break up and work through my emotions without being too distracted. I'm the type of person that needs to confront it head on because if I don't and try to distract myself with too many activities, when those activities end, I will still be in the same emotional space that I started in.

 

In time, I probably will pick up new hobbies and activities to better myself. But in the meantime I'm just seeing where that rollercoaster of emotions takes me.

HopeDiesLast Established Member

HopeDiesLast

Posted
Posted

yoga seems to be a universal solution. ive made my own Bucket List from the things u guys listed :)

Mending1985 Established Member

Mending1985

Posted
Posted

I love this thread!

 

I joined the gym AND got a personal trainer to kick my lazy butt

Starting cooking more and eating healthier

Stopped taking any form of narcotics

Started catching up with old friends again

Had a one night stand with a GORGEOUS guy hehe

Taking driving lessons to finally get my license

 

Things I want to do:

Keep my room neat and tidy and livable at ALL times so I look forward to being in there alone

Keep making jewellery with potential to sell at markets

Make more of an effort to be social and find even more new friends

Work on my self esteem!!!!!!

laars Member

laars

Posted
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Yeah i've been going to the gym more and have a whole bunch of friends I've arranged to meet up with on the weekend (the first weekend apart).

2sunny Established Member

2sunny

Posted
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i can't tell you at the moment - it's a secret! :lmao::lmao::lmao:

laars Member

laars

Posted
Posted

I just registered for 8 weeks of salsa lessons... woohoo!!!

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