tensor Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 If you want to know the whole story, you can check it out here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t161323/ Retelling it again isn't going to do me any good. So, after gathering some strength from my closest friends, I'm ready to lay everything out to her, and break off contact until we can just be friends again (if that is at all possible). Since I've gotten back, I'm completely unmotivated to accomplish anything. I mean, ANYTHING. I try to sleep until noon because I literally don't want to stay awake and not be able to do anything. (I am speaking with a professional starting this week) Our friendship got to the point where I considered her my muse, and we would give each other strength to further our lives, just by talking to one another. There is a whole list of things that I want to be to her and with her, but I finally got through my head that it's not about what I want to do, it's what is needed. What's needed is what is best for the baby, and that sure as hell doesn't include me in the picture. (Me getting over her, and her getting over any feelings she may have, so the family doesn't suffer) It's time to move on, but, at the same time, I want to stay friends at some time in the future (most likely after the baby is born), and I don't want to hurt her. She called because she was worried that if something had happened on the flight home, she'd never know, because no one would contact her. It makes me want to at least let her know why I'm not talking to her, as opposed to just blocking her completely. Building up the muster to do this is really hard...we've been incredibly close for more than 3 years (met January 2005) and we're close to mirror images of each other. But the feelings I get from seeing new photos of her, or from her talking to me, I can't keep this up. If anyone has had a 'similar' situation, or advice on getting this out, I would appreciate it immensely. Like I said, this isn't what I want to do, it's what I need to do.
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