maynicholas Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 So this is rather ironic that I am finding myself in this situation... When I was in my teens the guy I lost my virginity to screwed me over 10 fold. One of these occasions I discovered his car broken down in the driveway of his ex (My parents and I always had to pass the house on our way out of the development- I was with my mother at the time). I was 14 and devastated. How could I have trusted this guy. FYI- She had to have an abortion a few month's later which my bf paid for because he was 'being nice'-and I believed it... Fast forward to now... My new beau- he is absolutely wonderful, trustworthy, reliable, loving, attentive... blah blah blah His ex lived with him in his old apartment (not him exclusively- he had a roommate) when he broke up with her he let her leave her crap in the basement and told her he could help her move the stuff when the time. Well- the time has come. I live across the street and have to see it all... I trust my current bf (and this is in no way about my not trusting him-I'm not worried- he is texting me constantly as I write)- but I can't help but re-live my old demons about what happened when I was younger. This sucks.
Author maynicholas Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Have you ever gone through this?
whichwayisup Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I haven't. But, why not offer to help? Be friendly and nice with her, don't show an OUNCE of insecurity or your bf an ounce of mistrust. Keep in mind that he is with you, not her. He's just making things go easier and has no intention of pursuing her at all. Try your best not to let past demons and worries get in the way.
Author maynicholas Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Believe it or not, I did offer to help- honestly out of kindness. He said not to worry about it- that it shouldn't take that long. I am not worried about him. It just feels weird that I have held this distrust for so long to have it disproven after all this time...
Green Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 Well you need to learn to trust people, its a heavy weight to always have such distrust in the back of your mind.
Tryng2Trust08 Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 Wow, I can't believe you still have trust issues after all of this time. I really don't blame you though, sounds like u were devastated. I was cheated on in my marriage and betrayed soo deeply so believe me I know exactly how you're feeling. It s hard for me to date, but Im trying to deal with it day to day. Your BF sounds like he does everything to reasure you to not worry, and thats great. It's kind of a crappy situation to see her moving her stuff out, but I'm sure shortly it will be gone and u won't have to worry about it any longer. Distrust is such a heavy weight on your mind when you can be having fun and not worrying about something going wrong and someone betraying you. I struggle with this, also, I am completely over my exhusband cheating on me, but certain circumstances or things really bother me, it brings up the past in a heartbeat. I think once you have been betrayed in that way you won't forget it.
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