gennamoon Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 So I'm going to try and make this short...met this guy through mutual friend six months ago...we started talking for about a month until I agreed to go on a one on one date with him. We started spending about three days a week together. We are both divorced with kids and both have some trust issues. Anyway, about a two months ago he found out he wasn't getting some money that he had expected, starting working 60 hours a week, his rent went up and he realized that he wasn't going to be able to live there anymore, and he started having panic attacks. About four weeks ago, he said he couldn't do "this" right now...that he really likes me, enjoys spending time with me, but it's all too much... Anyway, I saw him about a week after the break up...he was cool, then quiet, but he did walk me to my car and kissed me telling me he missed me. About a week later a friend of mine told me she needed to rent her house (she moved out of town and is trying to sell it). She wanted to know if he could rent it. The word got out to him; through our mutual friends, and he contacted me. I saw him this past Friday when out and he was great...talking to me like nothing had ever happened. He was smiling, kept touching my arm when he'd pass me and commented about how nice my hair looked. Then a male friend of mine pointed out that he kept watching me and I saw it. I met him on Sunday to show him my friends house that he's going to rent. When it came time to leave I told him that he could have the key, but he said, "That' ok...I'll see you Friday." He asked me what I was doing the rest of the day and I said "nothing" but he didn't suggest anything. So, I went home and went for a run. While I was running I ran into one of friends on his scooter; which everyone can't imagine him on, so when I got home I sent the ex a funny text saying that I went for a run and saw our friend on his scooter and he didn't look half bad. He sent me a text back saying, "What u running from." I sent something back saying, "Well, I haven't always had this halo over my head." He sent something back that said, "I was thinkin somebody as hot as you should be running from a few guys." WTF...I just said that I would take that as a compliment and thanks... See, my personal opinion is that he got stressed, didn't want to drag me through his crap, but now that things are starting to ease up on him he might want to test the waters again. Our mutual friends said that he would eventually realize he made a mistake, but would probably not directly admit it. I think that's exactly what he's doing...him and I are a lot alike so I'm thinking he doesn't want to be direct in case I'm pissed as hell at him or over him because he doesn't want to face rejection, but maybe I'm insane...any opionions???
Eyeofthoth Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 It sounds to me like you got it right, but if so he will come around after a little flirting. If not, then he is still not ready, just checking on whether or not you are still available.
Angel1111 Posted August 22, 2008 Posted August 22, 2008 I agree with your assessment of things except for the part about him making a mistake. I'm sure he didn't want to walk away from you but if he hadn't, things would've probably gotten bad because of the stress he was under. I think it makes sense that he couldn't deal with a relationship at the time and now that things are easing up a bit, it's not so much that he's realizing he made a mistake, it's more like him knowing he's in a better position to be with you and hoping that you're still free. He sounds like a guy who knows his own mind - and that's a very good thing. And rare. He didn't want to drag you through the muck. Ya gotta give him credit for that. Because otherwise you would've been on this forum talking about how distant your bf has become and how horrible he was treating you. I think this is a much better scenario.
Author gennamoon Posted September 4, 2008 Author Posted September 4, 2008 Thanks the two of you for the post...Just an update... The ex came to my house last week to get the key to my friend's house. We talked for a bit and before we went into my house, I brought up the text. He said again that someone as cute as me should be running from some guys...so I said, "well if I can be perfectly honest with you, I still like you." I went onto say that I know he's stressed and that I'm not trying to stress him out, but at some point I'd like to hang out again. He said that he wanted to get through the move and then we can see what happens. He went to a local bar to meet two of our friends and about 2.5 hours later, he texted me. I went to meet him and we had a talk. He said that he hit a bump in the road and needed to get back on track...that he's been thinking a lot about me for about the last two weeks and everything would work itself out. Anyway, he moved in this weekend and out of the blue on Tuesday, he casually texted me. I'm trying to give him his space, be patient and let him know that I'm still around while doing my own thing for me. He is a really great guy and I do appreciate the fact that he didn't want to drag me through his crap. Before he broke up with me, he was getting more and more depressed by the minute and it killed me to watch him like that. So, we'll see what happens...
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