Makaveli23 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I was with my ex girlfriend for just under a year and a half, before she left me for another man. The first year of our relationship was amazing, we did everything together including lots of travelling etc, we were so happy. Before I met her a was heavily into the gym, and whilst I was with her I put the gym on the back burner, after the first 12 months of our relationship I started to get back into fitness again and really put that first and her second. I got boring, didn’t want to do anything that didn’t include fitness!! Started getting ratty/sarcastic with her when she suggested things we could do together because it was orientated around fitness. I was obsessed!! We always used to meet up on a Saturday at our local nightclub, I would go out with my friends and she would do the same, then meet up later on at the nightclub. I stopped doing this for fitness reasons, I assume because of me not being there she started to get lonely so she started being friendly with one of the barman [the guy she’s seeing now] I believe the other important part to the break happened about 15 months into the relationship, about 3 months after this crazy fitness regime, I went on a weekend away with the lads where on the way back from a night out the taxi driver offered to take us to a ‘brothel’ 3 of us declined [including me] but one friend said yes. The taxi driver took us to this brothel, switched off his engine and took all 4 of us in. The taxi driver, myself and the other 2 who declined waited in this kind of waiting area whilst the other went on with his business. After he’d finished the taxi driver took us back to our hotel. Being in a relationship at the time I felt guilty for just being there!!, so I informed her pretty much immediately because I didn’t want her to find out I’d been to a brothel from someone else. After all I did nothing wrong, so I have nothing to hide!! I should have waited till I was home and told her face to face but I made the mistake of telling over the phone whilst she was in the local nightclub where the barman works. She was slightly drunk and I don’t think she really understood what a brothel was, She’s 19 and I’m 23, so she hung up crying. She immediately consolidated with the barman, her current bf. About 3-4 weeks after this event and 3-4 months of putting the gym before her, she said she didn’t think I felt the same about her and she didn’t feel loved and wanted to break up. For the next 3 weeks I tried to show her how much I love her etc, but everything I did kept pushing her away, I decided to give her some space to breath so no contact was the only way forward. After a few weeks of no contact she said she missed me and thinks she may have made the wrong decision, but still doesn’t think she wants to be with me. It’s been about 4 months since she initially left me and she’s now been in a relationship with the nightclub barman for about 3 months. I’ve pretty much though about her everyday since!! I been getting on with my life and have been enjoying being single etc but I just cant stop thinking about her!! I can’t really go on missing her everyday, either I forget and finally let go or tell her how I feel hoping she still feels something for me!! Any advice, Thanks??
nopainnogain Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I would leave her in the past if I were you.
0hpenelope Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 She walked away, bro. If it makes you feel better to tell her how you feel, go for it. But a lot of us found that we were in for a rude awakening when no matter how hard we cried, the ex still refused to come back. Stripped bare and simplified, things come down to this: you can't make someone do what he/she doesn't want to. Apply it: you can't make someone stay, you can't make someone love you, you can't make someone eat broccoli (well, unless they're your kid)... If you do spill your feelings to her, here's hoping you might be the rare exception.
BackonTrack Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Stay NC. In another 1 months, you won't think about her as often as you do In another 2 months, the memories will start to get stored in your past In another 3 months - you think of her several times during the day for short periods. Another 4 months, you'll be free. She would of came back by now if she's going to come back. Its over, nothing you can do OR you can reach out to her but I am not sure what you should or shouldn't say. Either way keep me updated, ex left me about 6 months ago, no word, i reached out once 3 weeks after she told me to **** off. Haven't reached out since. but do you tell her how you feel? No, words won't have any impact. Actions speak louder than words, I don't know what to tell you. Good Luck
nopainnogain Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Go ahead.Spill your guts out. But if she takes you back it will be out of guilt. And the R will be doomed.
calliegirl Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 i guess i shud take my own advice, im always better at giving it than takin it, but if you love something let it go, if it comes back its urs forever. Fate is Fate and it will take u where u need to be, trust ur instincts. if u feel u need to tell her how much u care then you shud. never regret.
l0stMike Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 Stay NC. In another 1 months, you won't think about her as often as you do In another 2 months, the memories will start to get stored in your past In another 3 months - you think of her several times during the day for short periods. Another 4 months, you'll be free. I don't believe that it works like that in per month blocks for everyone. I've been broken with my ex for nearly 16 months and I still think about her every day... I don't think breaking up and coping has a timeframe like that. It's different for everybody.
coffeemaker Posted August 27, 2008 Posted August 27, 2008 I've never been one to walk away without a fight and i absolute hate having regrets. I would just tell her for MY OWN PERSONAL reasons with the full expectation that nothing will come of it. It really depends on you - everyone's different. If it helps you find closure then do it. If you can walk away and not look back, then just walk away. You have to figure that out for yourself. Everyone here has a different opinion ;-)
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