RogueAC Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 We broke-up 4 days ago. 4 days NC. That is the longest we have gone NC since our first date... Every time I look at my phone, check my e-mail or open my mailbox I hope that there is a call, message or letter from him; there is not and my heart sinks a little more each time. Although, I don’t know what I would say or do if there was. He does not love me and does not want to be in a relationship with me. Writing that is both liberating and heartbreaking. It is hard to accept. I may never understand. I have been walking places so that I am not tempted to drive past his house. “I can’t give you what you need. I am too damaged,” he says, adding, “but I don’t want for you to not be part of my life. Maybe we can be friends? You know my phone number and where I live.” Ha. Haha. I am neither mad nor angry. I am sad, confused and mostly just hurt. I cry when I tell people that we broke up. They give me looks of pity and tell me, “You are better off without him. He just doesn’t know how to be happy and can’t be in a relationship without drama. You know, que sera, sera.” I am not Doris Day. My hands shake and my jaw is tense. I am forcing myself to eat so I don’t lose more weight. At least I still have an appetite. I will get through this. I have been through worse. I am way too young, strong, intelligent and beautiful. I will not waste my days mourning someone who is a coward, too frightened, insecure and emotionally unaware to take a chance on love. I will let him go. I guess whatever will be, will be.
wareagle Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I've been where your at as so many others here have. Stay strong, I don't really have alot of advice for you except stay in the NC mode!! Trust me it is hard as hell, but in the long run you will be much better off!!
ahhhchooo Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 Kinda OT but related to your first paragraph... I think breaking up was probably easier in the days before mobile phones and the internet! I hate receiving dud texts from people I don't want to hear from and jumping on it because it might be her! I hate sitting on MSN hoping to catch her online, and then testing her for 5 minutes after she logs in to see if she messages me... and she doesn't. It's like a new piece of rejection every day
Recommended Posts