movingonandon Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 So as expected, psycho ex-girlfriend who dumped me 2 months ago for a complete joke, calls today to see "if everything is over for good between us", to which I say "yes of course, given that you've been with somebody else". "Does this matter this much?" she says. The slightest sign of acknowledgeing the betrayal would make me at least contemplate it, but acting like this is no big deal? What the hell is wrong with women these days?
nopainnogain Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 ? What the hell is wrong with women these days? I wouldnt be quick to stereotype but I havent met a woman who isnt like that
Author movingonandon Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 I wouldnt be quick to stereotype but I havent met a woman who isnt like that Well if so, they can all eat it. I'm starting to frequent gay clubs starting right now! Kidding aside, she did not actually sleep with him until she dumped me, but this doesn't make ANY difference at all to me. Apparently this has been something she wanted to "do" for whatever reason, and now that she's done she realizes how stupid it was. "I'd understand if your principles are stronger than your love for me" - all her comments were this self-serving...
nopainnogain Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I used to be firm believer in second chances. I also used to believe the saying "first time shame on me ,second time shame on you" But now I say screw second chances too. If someone does me wrong I am cutting them off.
l0stMike Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Well if so, they can all eat it. I'm starting to frequent gay clubs starting right now! Kidding aside, she did not actually sleep with him until she dumped me, but this doesn't make ANY difference at all to me. Apparently this has been something she wanted to "do" for whatever reason, and now that she's done she realizes how stupid it was. "I'd understand if your principles are stronger than your love for me" - all her comments were this self-serving... LOL. thats a hilarious quote. god damn women!!! making all us decent men gay! all kidding aside with me as well, my ex did basically the same thing but never called me back. the second chance door is still open for me, and it sucks. we never really did each other wrong though so i guess that is where our situations differ. if she doesnt acknowledge it then tell her to piss off.
nowhereman82 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 OP, I would keep in mind that people are not perfect, no one is. She cared enough for you to not sleep with anyone while she was with you. She met someone and got interested. Perhaps she needed to see what else there is to see how good you are? I don't know her age but sometimes you don't know what you have until you lose it. I wouldn't be so quick to brush her off...unless you are just over her. Have a heart to heart talk, a calm and rational one, before you blow her off. People have a hard time admitting fault or apologizing sometimes....
BackonTrack Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 OP, I would keep in mind that people are not perfect, no one is. She cared enough for you to not sleep with anyone while she was with you. She met someone and got interested. Perhaps she needed to see what else there is to see how good you are? People have a hard time admitting fault or apologizing sometimes.... Appears my ex cared enough about me to hide the fact she was leaving me for another man, as well as hide the fact she was in a relationship with another man, but I don't think she cared about me, she cared about how I would react to her, she thought I would view her as a whore, which is true but it wasn't how I reacted, I reacted like a man with half-pride, told her to get out, told her to come back, told her to come over, threw her out, told her i loved her, sent her emails, then broke down & cried follow by a email of lets work it out to which i received a reply of **** off, followed by me going mad & driving by her house demanding she break up with me in person to her saying stop harassing me to finally nothing. no peep in 6 months.
nopainnogain Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Perhaps she needed to see what else there is to see how good you are? .... If this is the case than screw her. I wouldnt want a chick that needs to taste other D*ck to see how good I am.
0hpenelope Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 BoT, we sympathize with what you've gone through and it's rough, but please don't project your loss of faith on your girl by discounting nowhereman82. I think what he said here applies to your gf. People have a hard time admitting fault or apologizing sometimes.... I don't like how she approached it - especially when you laid your heart bare again for her. But she saw how much power she had over you and she abused it. I can see that you're ranting, but don't sink to your ex-gf's level: defiled by nonsensical bitterness. OP, I hope you don't carry bitterness with you, too. I liked nopainnogain's response in a different thread regarding hearing an ex beg and cry for them: he'd rather choose silence and maintain distance. You don't deserve what she did to you and she doesn't deserve anything from you. Not even bitterness - she's not worth feeling that towards.
nowhereman82 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 It's a case to case Backontrack, but your actions after the break up definitely sealed that coffin. Don't know what the OPs history is but he should consider people are not always strong, nor is anyone perfect. I for one will never call my ex a whore....but backontrack, you call yours a whore in ever post almost lol. We each react differently...as do the dumpers.
Author movingonandon Posted August 20, 2008 Author Posted August 20, 2008 Well thank you all, this was unexpectedly therapeutic (I mean everybody's thoughts, not my childish ranting). Now that I am calmer, I can say that I generally align with nowhereman's views, except that unfortunately she's not giving me anything to work with: the conversation was dominated by her going on and on how she felt at the time, and how hard it was for her - esentially how her screwed up state of mind excused that happened (We did have problems, chiefly due to long distance, yes). When I asked how would she feel if I did the same, her knee jer responce was that "she'd understand", which is also self-serving, since it only shows complete inability/lack of desire to emphatise with something other than her own perspective (e.g. my feelings). She showed not a trace of remorse, or guilt. Heck, I would have been able to work at least with an acknowledgement that she understand the amount of pain she inflicted. She acted almost as if this was no big deal and was sorta my fault all along. Sorry, but no matter how much I attempt to pick up the high road, I can't get that "high" (or more precisely - low). That's why I begin to think that a firm "no second chance" policy might be a bit harsh, but eventually much more reasonable attitude. PS Don't want to go through all the prehistory, but essentially she dumped me for another dude, rationalising her behavior with me being "untrustworthy" (I never did anything to give even the slightest reason to suspect infidelity, I wasl always 100% about her). What a waste of time. Oh, and she's 31. So the excuses that apply for younger girls should be irrelevant (but apparently not).
Author movingonandon Posted August 20, 2008 Author Posted August 20, 2008 It's a case to case Backontrack, but your actions after the break up definitely sealed that coffin. Don't know what the OPs history is but he should consider people are not always strong, nor is anyone perfect. I for one will never call my ex a whore....but backontrack, you call yours a whore in ever post almost lol. We each react differently...as do the dumpers. I called her a "dumb, cheating bitch". She did not like it and wrote me back to use it as a subtle further rationalisatoin why she broke up with me. I replied very kindly and her ridiculous arguments evaporated. We do stupid things when we're angry, but that's not as bad as a cold, rational deception going on over weeks.
Author movingonandon Posted August 20, 2008 Author Posted August 20, 2008 OP, I would keep in mind that people are not perfect, no one is. She cared enough for you to not sleep with anyone while she was with you. She met someone and got interested. Perhaps she needed to see what else there is to see how good you are? I don't know her age but sometimes you don't know what you have until you lose it. I wouldn't be so quick to brush her off...unless you are just over her. Have a heart to heart talk, a calm and rational one, before you blow her off. People have a hard time admitting fault or apologizing sometimes.... Well, you're right. I just don't love her anymore. The only thing that could possibly bring us back together is her giving unrefutable proof that she understands what she did and that she changed, tears and all. But none of that happened. Moreover, by talking to me, she's already cheating on her current boyfriend (not that I care about the greazy monkey, just shows how out there she is). I don't think the girl I fell in love with exists at all anymore.
Hopelessly_Devoted Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 F 2nd chances, it's their loss! I have met someone new who respects me so far for who I am. Now my ex is texting me telling me I look good but he is still wih his new girl so F him.... I am moving on!
RecordProducer Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 So as expected, psycho ex-girlfriend who dumped me 2 months ago for a complete joke, calls today to see "if everything is over for good between us", to which I say "yes of course, given that you've been with somebody else". "Does this matter this much?" she says. The slightest sign of acknowledgeing the betrayal would make me at least contemplate it, but acting like this is no big deal? What the hell is wrong with women these days?Hey, my husband does the same. He's been kicking me out of the house for two years and when I say "OK, I am moving out," he says I am dumping him like yesterday's trash and starts giving me mixed signals. Then I start hoping again and he says "I keep telling you I want you out!" Now I am REALLY leaving, I am currently looking for an apartment and hoping to move out by the end of the month and he keeps brining old dirty laundry. I don't think it's women, I think it's people. It's not even that they start appreciating what they had when they see it's slipping from their hands - I think they selfishly want to keep you on your knees; chasing them, suffering because of them, begging them for their love. It's an ego thing. They want to be loved cuz they're insecure. They find pleasure in puting you down and seeing you crushed because it gives them the feeling of power. I don't know if this is the case with your ex though. Maybe she loved you but didn't feel loved by you and when she finally found someone else, she still loves you.
D-Lish Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 I wouldnt be quick to stereotype but I havent met a woman who isnt like that Lol... I have met copious amount of men who do the same thing. I don't think it's a gender specific trait.
BackonTrack Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Hello, Well, the reason is. I call her a whore because thats what she was. I call her a whore because she honestly tricked me into believing she was a "nice girl" and I treated her special and all the while she's out there sucking someone else cock then coming home to me and kissing me. She's out getting ****ed every which ways, then have the NERVE to come sleep in the same bed with me. As far as me sealing the coffin, I am so glad I did. I am so glad I went physo for like 20 minutes. Oh my god, If i hadn't done that, who knows, maybe she would of came back and and me foolishly would of accepted her with open arms only to have this happen to me some time in the future. I think subconciously, I was giving her 1001 reasons to never look back, buying time for me to heal to get to the point where I am now so I can say "**** her, you dirty whore" I wish I would of knew she was a whore... Man I could of been having threesome, made her lick my balls, I wouldn't of been so nice to her.... I thought she was a good girl.... It's a case to case Backontrack, but your actions after the break up definitely sealed that coffin. Don't know what the OPs history is but he should consider people are not always strong, nor is anyone perfect. I for one will never call my ex a whore....but backontrack, you call yours a whore in ever post almost lol. We each react differently...as do the dumpers.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Well if so, they can all eat it. I'm starting to frequent gay clubs starting right now! Kidding aside, she did not actually sleep with him until she dumped me, but this doesn't make ANY difference at all to me. Apparently this has been something she wanted to "do" for whatever reason, and now that she's done she realizes how stupid it was. "I'd understand if your principles are stronger than your love for me" - all her comments were this self-serving... Who cares if she didn't sleep with him until she dumped you. A week after is not better. She wanted to get that formality of "not being together" done with so she could get slipped the pickle. Coping with that is rough. My ex strung me along all summer while being with another guy. Horrible.
Sysyphus28 Posted October 9, 2008 Posted October 9, 2008 Appears my ex cared enough about me to hide the fact she was leaving me for another man, as well as hide the fact she was in a relationship with another man, but I don't think she cared about me, she cared about how I would react to her, she thought I would view her as a whore, which is true but it wasn't how I reacted, I reacted like a man with half-pride, told her to get out, told her to come back, told her to come over, threw her out, told her i loved her, sent her emails, then broke down & cried follow by a email of lets work it out to which i received a reply of **** off, followed by me going mad & driving by her house demanding she break up with me in person to her saying stop harassing me to finally nothing. no peep in 6 months. I am sorry you had to go through all that. I was in denial when my ex cheated and lied, etc. You get used to this loyal sweet person who you thought you might have a future with. Then you find yourself going mad.........loving/hating/arguing/emailing/texting...and going through all this s*** to scarmble and save something that SO far gone. It is crap, and alot of men(including myself) have been through this heartbreak and push and pull nightmare. I broke down over and over again when I saw my ex after the summer she was away. Now she lives 20 min down the road at school and won't talk to me. "Miss independent college woman living in a closet sized dorm" Thats what I get for dating a woman, excuse me, little girl, who was 20 while I was 26. She turned 21 and burnt me so bad. It was literally like playing with a hot coal, but I took the risk...for "love" WOW. I havn't driven by her school or threatened her...but theier was alot of push and pull and she doesn't talk to me. I called her 2/12 weeks and left a message about us being friends and if she still cared, blah, blah,blah,. I feel like a sucker-a** douchebag for groveling to that scumbag. But hey......you blindly ignore the obvious because you are thinking of the old them. Sorry dude
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