journey1 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I think I have accepted that it is over! But I still have this heavy heart feeling and whatever it is that I do throughout the day reminds me that I am 29 and what I thought was ging to be my life and who I thought was going to be my husband is no longer the case. Everytime I am out I see kids and happily married couples and it is gut wrenching. It is all I wanted and wanted with him! How do I pick up the pieces of me? I feel like I am not whole....how can I ever love again or be the happy girl I once was? I miss me, I miss my previous life. Now I have to start over with another human who I already dont want. I diont know this person yet, but I know it will never compare to the love and the deep history that I had with the ex. When will I be able to live happily again?
HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 i have no answers, journey. just that i feel the exact same way. word.for.word.
Author journey1 Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Are we around the same age? I know that youre from NY as well. This is getting tougher and tougher. My mind keeps creating all these crazy explanantions and different scenerios that I think could have taken place and then I start to believe myself because I feel my intuition is always right. Do you find yourself thinking about what he is doing and WHO he is doing? I keep having intrusive thoughts and they need to stop:mad:
Beee Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 It might not help, but I wanted you to know you are not alone. I am 28 and thought I was with my future life-long partner when I was 26.... We had a long and very sad break up and I thought I would never love again... I would never find any one who knew me as he does. Well 6 months ago I fell in love again, in love with some one who made me feel like I was the only things that mattered. 2 weeks ago that ended.... I keep askign myself what he's up to, what he's doing... I want to be part of his life again and want to "have the right" to know the details of his plans..... truth is, I don't have any right any more and its killing me.... BUT the point of this post is.... You can love again, and will probably love again when you least expect it.... The way you love might be different, but humans are not made to be alone, and you will love again and be loved again!
Rooster_DAR Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I think I have accepted that it is over! But I still have this heavy heart feeling and whatever it is that I do throughout the day reminds me that I am 29 and what I thought was ging to be my life and who I thought was going to be my husband is no longer the case. Everytime I am out I see kids and happily married couples and it is gut wrenching. It is all I wanted and wanted with him! How do I pick up the pieces of me? I feel like I am not whole....how can I ever love again or be the happy girl I once was? I miss me, I miss my previous life. Now I have to start over with another human who I already dont want. I diont know this person yet, but I know it will never compare to the love and the deep history that I had with the ex. When will I be able to live happily again? It's been two years, and I feel feel the exact same sentiments. I think the shell of who I really was is left back at our house, I'm just a shell fragment leftover from the spoils of infidelity. Debbie Downer,
nowhereman82 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 How depressing. Think you summed it up for a lot of people. I spent the last year and a half of my 5 year relationship treating her as I would my wife, planning every day things for the future and thinking on and working on the future. Already had images of the children she would give me and growing and growing old. A whole future laid out and thought out....and it was taken from me. I am not jaded enough to think I will never love again....but it's hard to think that I gave my unconditional love to someone and now I am expected to give it to someone else in the future. That to me feels like proposing with the same ring I gave the ex. Used...used love to give to whom I am sure will be a wonderful woman.
Meaplus3 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I think I have accepted that it is over! But I still have this heavy heart feeling and whatever it is that I do throughout the day reminds me that I am 29 and what I thought was ging to be my life and who I thought was going to be my husband is no longer the case. Everytime I am out I see kids and happily married couples and it is gut wrenching. It is all I wanted and wanted with him! How do I pick up the pieces of me? I feel like I am not whole....how can I ever love again or be the happy girl I once was? I miss me, I miss my previous life. Now I have to start over with another human who I already dont want. I diont know this person yet, but I know it will never compare to the love and the deep history that I had with the ex. When will I be able to live happily again? I'd take some time and just focus on yourself.. and the things that you enjoy. I know it's tough, but thoughts of him will fade over time. Hang in there and know there are plenty of fish in the sea. AP:)
ioncebelieved Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 It's been two years, and I feel feel the exact same sentiments. I think the shell of who I really was is left back at our house, I'm just a shell fragment leftover from the spoils of infidelity. Debbie Downer, I sure as hell hope that I do not feel like that in two years!!! Nobody really can answer the original post. I guess when the right person comes along is when... and that of course is when you are ready and over the initial hurt. I have a filler in my life right now and it is just me wasting a whole lot of time!!! I pray the man upstairs allows another into my life where I feel what I did for my ex. But of course I hope she has better Tx for me. Tx= medical abbreviation for treatment. Good luck with the healing because it is hard, lonely and it sucks! But when you start feeling better you will see there is life still out there!
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