HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 ...but why the hell wont my ex call me??? he answers my texts, but will not talk to me. wtf???? WHO ARE YOU???? Am i that easy to get over? Am i not worth a phone call? Are you that callous that you don't care about me at all? Do you think this is helping me? Cus its not. i feel like total S**T. He was so sweet- wtf happened? aaaahhhhhhh im so angry!
xpaperxcutx Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Did you guys broke up? If that's a yes, he's iniating NC, NO CONTACT. I suggest you do the same.
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 HE broke up with ME- how the hell can you initiate no contact? whats he gotta heal from? his new freedom. wow, im livid today. totally pissed off.
Billie63 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 You've got to back off from him. I know it's hard but unless there's practical reasons why you need to call him, ie, property to deal with etc, there is no reason for you to be calling. He ended it and selfishly he doesn't want any calls from you making him feel guilty about his decision. You have to respect his decision, however badly he behaved. For the record, my ex is now flirting with me despite his new girlfriend - I didn't have to do a thing - I backed off and let him get on with his life. I guess his new life isn't reaching expectations eh?
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 NC means NO Contact.. texting is contact.. Stop texting him and if he texts you then ignore it... You will feel better.. I promise... NC also means NO Contact for an extended period of time.. meaning a long time.. not just a few days.. If you text him in a week then you are not practicing NC... Treat him to silence.. he broke up with you then make yourself scarce.. he doesn't deserve your ego boosting contact
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Billie-That must be a semi gratifying feeling! Do you think the ex's are extactically happy? or again, mind playing tricks on us? I have backed off- for a month and a half i didnt beg or cry or call or anything. told him to leave me alone. i asked if we could talk last week and he said he doesnt want to. he said he doesnt want to hurt me more. but i said i need this for me, and i dont think its asking much to let me close this for myself. i also said if he cant give me that, then i dont know who i dated for 2 yrs. i dont really care how guilty he feels...this is for me. if its gonna make me feel better, i want to talk, not text. all he will do is text. coward. no offense to any of you guys- im just bitter and angry today. thank u for ur responses!!!
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 the guy you dated for 2 yrs is no longer that guy.. he is someone different today.. You really need to stop contacting him...
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 ur right art- back to no contact. ugghhhhh im such a good person. why does this happen to good people?
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 ur right art- back to no contact. ugghhhhh im such a good person. why does this happen to good people? You are a great person and you will get thru this.. Give yourself a break, it isn't easy.. It happens to everyone.. good, bad, pretty, ugly... breakups and losing people we love is just a part of life.. With each loss we learn new things about ourselves and take that into a new relationships we make and those relationships will be better and more fullfilling than the previous ones...
Billie63 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Billie-That must be a semi gratifying feeling! Do you think the ex's are extactically happy? or again, mind playing tricks on us? I have backed off- for a month and a half i didnt beg or cry or call or anything. told him to leave me alone. i asked if we could talk last week and he said he doesnt want to. he said he doesnt want to hurt me more. but i said i need this for me, and i dont think its asking much to let me close this for myself. i also said if he cant give me that, then i dont know who i dated for 2 yrs. i dont really care how guilty he feels...this is for me. if its gonna make me feel better, i want to talk, not text. all he will do is text. coward. no offense to any of you guys- im just bitter and angry today. thank u for ur responses!!! Yes Hope, I do have a satisfying feeling about it. As for you - what exactly is it you want to talk to him about?
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 ya know, i dont even know. sometimes i just want to say the things i couldnt when it ended. i was so devestated that i feel like i couldnt say things the way i wanted. then i think about it and i guess i did say all i had to. he knows i want a commitment and he just cant give it to me. i want to ask him how he feels toward me- have your feelings disappeared? i just need to know. i just want to know im not hanging on for nothing. if i knew he didnt feel a damn thing toward me, then i could get on with my life. but somehow i know thats not true. he wont call me and talk to me and i know it means there are feelings there- but also that it means for right now, he'd not like to acknowledge them. for right now he'd like to move on. and i know i should to. but its like i fight with myself. its like i feel myself let go and then the other half of me says "no dont, u love him! what u had was wonderful and he knows it, so dont give up!" im losing it, kids.
Billie63 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Would a little self delusion help? What if you said to yourself: "By Christmas we'll be back together, but until then, I'm not going to contact him. I'm going to work on myself, work on those flaws that I've been promising to improve upon. Learn a new skill, go out with friends and have a good time." How does that make you feel?
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 it might work....kinda makes me feel hopeful that it may work out by then. but what if christmas comes and were not together? havent i done all that work for the wrong reason?
Billie63 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 it might work....kinda makes me feel hopeful that it may work out by then. but what if christmas comes and were not together? havent i done all that work for the wrong reason? I can guarantee you that by Christmas either you two will be back together. Or, you will have moved on and you won't care about him anymore. Why? Because you'll have worked on your own happiness and you'll have attracted some other man who is far far better than your ex. All that work for the wrong reason? I don't think so, love.
Meaplus3 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 ...but why the hell wont my ex call me??? he answers my texts, but will not talk to me. wtf???? WHO ARE YOU???? Am i that easy to get over? Am i not worth a phone call? Are you that callous that you don't care about me at all? Do you think this is helping me? Cus its not. i feel like total S**T. He was so sweet- wtf happened? aaaahhhhhhh im so angry! I would simply stop sending him text messages and go complete NC. It may be rough at first, but it's the best way to move past the R in the long run. Try keeping busy by distracting yourself with activites or by hanging out with friends. It will get better. Best wishes. AP:)
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 I can guarantee you that by Christmas either you two will be back together. Or, you will have moved on and you won't care about him anymore. Why? Because you'll have worked on your own happiness and you'll have attracted some other man who is far far better than your ex. All that work for the wrong reason? I don't think so, love. Really, Billie? You think so? What if he's lost his feelings for me? i mean he says he doesnt call so he doesnt hurt me more- so he's gotta care, right? there was so much love. Maybe you're right. maybe it is the right reason to work on me. Because i think that if the relationship was to start over- it would be new and different and not the same crappy one from before....OR new and different with someone else. God i miss him so much. i cant even type the words "someone else."
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Missing someone and wanting to be with them forever are two different animals.. He made the choice to break it off with you and he continues that with telling you he doesn't call you because he want to hurt you anymore... He also doesn't want to lead you on.. he doesn't want to give you that little piece of hope you are looking to hold onto. It's obvious that he cares about how you feel.. so he cares about you.. but he doesn't care about you the way you want him to.. He wants you to move on...
lovelorcet Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Do you think he misses me? Nope... That is the reality you need to deal with... He is most likely happy are relived to be out. That is why he ended things...
Billie63 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Do you think he misses me? Of course he misses you. And you really don't believe that one day you'll get over him do you? I'm telling you that you can and you will. The best thing is to deal with how you're feeling today and to get rid of that panicky desperate emotion that you feel. Get a bit angry. Say to yourself: "I'll show him" And go for it. Do anything to improve on yourself (and we could all do with some improvement) so that one day he can look at you and think to himself: "Wow, she's quite a catch." let your feelings of rejection be the impetus to get you off your backside and turn your life around. That is the way I deal with break ups and it works. All the exes who have dumped me have come crawling back - but the truth is, by the time they'd done that, I'd gone onto something better. Choose to be a winner, not a loser.
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Relieved that he's out of it!?!!!???? why cant i ask that? "Are you relieved your out of this? You may miss me and not wanna get back together, but are you relieved you got out?" THATS what i want to know
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 You need to stop trying to create "Questions" to ask him... Try and remember that when you break NC that you feel like crap.. you validate his ego and you have to start all over back at square one with the healing.. NC..NC..NC
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 ok...so the answer is yes, hes relieved bc he wasnt happy. which means hes over it. which means that could be forever? wow, shot right to the heart on that one.
Author HopeDiesLast Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 the idea that he doesnt want this relationship....that he doesnt feel it anymore, whatever it may be- is destroying me. seriously. i cant deal with it. i dont know how to. it makes me nauseous.
lovelorcet Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 ok...so the answer is yes, hes relieved bc he wasnt happy. which means hes over it. which means that could be forever? wow, shot right to the heart on that one. Yes, it hurts but that is what has happened. The best thing you can do is try to move away from this. If you ask him any of these you will only end up hurting yourself more.
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