KaRo Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 So, I've recently been trying online dating because I am rather shy and thought it would be easier. I asked some ladies (online) opinions on my pic b/c I was self conscious about it and to my surprise they said I was "really good looking." But, when it actually comes down to me messaging them, none of them have replied back (I've had some initiate contact, but still). Is there something I'm doing wrong here?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 How about you post your pic on here and let us judge?
Author KaRo Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 So, you think the pic was the problem then? And, I don't want to post it on here for everyone else to judge, but I'd email it to a few on here I guess.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 So, you think the pic was the problem then? And, I don't want to post it on here for everyone else to judge, but I'd email it to a few on here I guess. I think it really falls on why you feel like you need strangers to validate the way you look? Maybe some woman sensed your insecurity and lack of confidence thus felt unattracted. And you could just post a pic in your pro. Don't worry, most LShackers don't bite.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 And online dating is all about hit and misses. You get the option to select your favorite type of girl from a selection of profile and pics, and they have an option to reply or deny.
amymarieca Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 One thing you have to remember about online dating is that you must be able to handle rejection well. It is going to happen- that is a fact. I'm sure that maybe there have been some people you have rejected on the site. It's the name of the game. If you can't handle it, don't do it!
Mako482 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I call online dating an "all you can eat buffet". Don't just expect rejection from people who do not answer you emails, but from people who you actually meet and date as well. The next best match is just a click away in the online dating world, if you don't "secure your find" before someone with "greener grass" seduces them you will be getting rejection at that point too. THat all depends on the person too, if I have some people I have met and am interested in I stop looking for new matches at that point and give things a chance. If everyone did this online dating would be much more successful, but human nature is to always look over the next hill to see what's there.
grogster Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I call online dating an "all you can eat buffet". Don't just expect rejection from people who do not answer you emails, but from people who you actually meet and date as well. The next best match is just a click away in the online dating world, if you don't "secure your find" before someone with "greener grass" seduces them you will be getting rejection at that point too. THat all depends on the person too, if I have some people I have met and am interested in I stop looking for new matches at that point and give things a chance. If everyone did this online dating would be much more successful, but human nature is to always look over the next hill to see what's there. I like the "all you can eat buffet" line, Mako. Very good. After breaking up with my GF, I went back online about 2 months ago. Although a number of famished women were interested in me as their meal, I wasn't hungry. I hid my profile and cancelled my membership. One really must be in the proper frame of mind and have the right appetite to date on-line. Right now, I possess neither. I prefer Shacking--it's easier and much less complicated than coffee or dinner with strangers.
bigmanpayne Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 So, you think the pic was the problem then? And, I don't want to post it on here for everyone else to judge, but I'd email it to a few on here I guess. stop obsessing about your pic. dont ask people what they think about, i am not a female, but that has got to be a turn off. makes you look weak and very needy. and who cares what people on LShack think about your picture? we aren't trying to date you. if you want to put it on here then do it, if not then dont. Online dating is all rejection. that is 85% of it. that's what makes it good. you get to quickly sort through the riff-raff and pick who you want to try and go after, and who you dont. it's great. people will of course reject you, maybe for looks, maybe for race, maybe for personality, but you just keep it moving and move on to the next person. dont dwell on it, there are "Plenty Of Fish" in the sea for you.
Mako482 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Yea as for your pic just make sure you post a bunch of them from different angles. Don't try to to post the one you have that makes you look good, they will meet you in person eventually. Make sure they can see what you look like for real, no matter how you think you look the simple fact is some people will find you attractive, others will not. The important thing is to make sure your photo portrays how you really look, if they can't pick you out of a group using your photos you're wrong. I'm sure there are women out there that don't even find Brad Pitt attractive. Probably not many but I'm sure there are one or two.
lovestruck818 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 So, I've recently been trying online dating because I am rather shy and thought it would be easier. I asked some ladies (online) opinions on my pic b/c I was self conscious about it and to my surprise they said I was "really good looking." But, when it actually comes down to me messaging them, none of them have replied back (I've had some initiate contact, but still). Is there something I'm doing wrong here? people online LIE
Shygirl15 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 people online LIE A lot. Online people are simply weird. Don't bother; if they don't reply move on until you find the ones that do.
lovestruck818 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Plus, OP, I am sure you are very good-looking but honestly, if you just ask a random complete stranger if they think you are good-looking, they are almost always going to say yes, whether they do or not...for to avoid hurting your feelings.
Mako482 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Online people are simply weird. Pretty generalized statement.
Author KaRo Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Plus, OP, I am sure you are very good-looking but honestly, if you just ask a random complete stranger if they think you are good-looking, they are almost always going to say yes, whether they do or not...for to avoid hurting your feelings. I posted it on another site (where that is sort of judged). So it wasn't completely strange as that is to be expected there. I didn't ask them if I was good looking I just asked what they thought of that pic. And on that site others were judged harshly (as well as good), so I'd say it was objective. I was just wondering what reasons there would be to not responding to an email.
littlekitty Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Could be the content and context of your email? If you followed up their 'yes', with 'wanna meet for a shag then?', I'd expect a lot of no's! I'd stop asking people what they think of your looks. If they like how you look they might respond. If they don't, they won't, ok. Next make sure you're email is warm and friendly. Funny and relaxed. It's your fishing bait, and you've got to get it right. Online dating can work. I met my husband online. But my best tip is just relax and take it easy. And as someone else said, be prepared for rejection. It happens.
Shygirl15 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I posted it on another site (where that is sort of judged). So it wasn't completely strange as that is to be expected there. I didn't ask them if I was good looking I just asked what they thought of that pic. And on that site others were judged harshly (as well as good), so I'd say it was objective. I was just wondering what reasons there would be to not responding to an email. Why don't you post here an email that you sent out to them? Also, it's not wise to ask people what they think of your pictures, kinda turn off. You may ask what they think of your profile, though.
Author KaRo Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Why don't you post here an email that you sent out to them? Also, it's not wise to ask people what they think of your pictures, kinda turn off. You may ask what they think of your profile, though. No, you don't understand the site I asked the opinions of my pic was different than the dating site I used. So the two aren't linked. Srry if I wasn't clear.
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Good looking and wanting to date are two different things... there are millions of good looking women out there that I would never go out with for one reason or another.. Looks aren't the only reason people get together and date.. The girls you asked were being honest.. but they just didn't have a connection with you or you were no the type of guy they were after.. I think your profile is something you might want to put more time and effort into fine tuning. The hottest guy in the world wouldn't get any replies if his profile made him out to be a total jerk or tool...
littlekitty Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 This thread might be useful for you: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81698/
Author KaRo Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 The girls you asked were being honest.. but they just didn't have a connection with you or you were no the type of guy they were after.. Hmm...I think you should read my last post, the dating site women were on a different site than the ones I asked the opinions on my pic. As for the rest of your post, I agree, you make some good points.
D-Jam Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I don't like online dating simply because there's just too much lying and deception on top of everyone examining everything under the microscope. Every word, image, etc...scared to death of taking a chance. My only suggestions for improvement is to read up articles on how to write good emails and other things you can do to improve your profile. That and just message any and all who seem interesting to you. Don't sit there trying to find true love from reading a profile, but more message anyone that you imagine you would talk to if you were at a party. And be ready to handle a lot of rejection.
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 So, I've recently been trying online dating because I am rather shy and thought it would be easier. I asked some ladies (online) opinions on my pic b/c I was self conscious about it and to my surprise they said I was "really good looking." But, when it actually comes down to me messaging them, none of them have replied back (I've had some initiate contact, but still). Is there something I'm doing wrong here? Hmm...I think you should read my last post, Your Original Post did not mention that.... I did read YOUR OP I can't read minds... If you read your OP it mentions that they said you were good looking but didn't respond back to you when you emailed them
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