Whey2Big4u Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 When is the right time to contact....how long after NC should there be contact? Im not talking about a three month fling with a two week break up, Im talking six years and engaged. Itll be a year now, but approximatly four five months NC. Or should I just contiue about my life as is and forget. and maybe one day shell contact me Shes with someone now.......been with him for three months about and already wen to florida for tow weeks with the guy....ughhh i feel like ****, but he must be paying for it since she doesnt work lol.......just makes me think of all the traveling we used to do. It sux no matter who im with i comapre them to her I was also wondering.........i know in pictures anyone can look happy, but if all our mutual freinds tell me shes realy not happy...then what is she. Casue from all my pics i look very happy, but aside from all the fun things ive done and all my changes........I'm not happy at all. I was cleaning my house and found some old pics of us when we fisrt met and it just brought up some fealings............figured id write hear instead of contacting her lol.
nowhereman82 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I am in the same boat as you....getting tired of saying that...lol...now that I look at your name I think I mentioned this in one of your other posts. What are your intentions for contacting her? Are you ready to accept what/who/how she is/is with? Your situation is a very tough pill to swallow and personally I don't feel a failed engagement is recoverable from what I have seen and read. Might be best to let it go. Think of them as a relative that passed away. Seems to be the way I am reacting to it lately and it helps. It's a different type of sadness but still carries happy thoughts and you know they are gone. Keep us up to date though, I have personal interest in your story. *update* Yea...I read a post of yours from your past. I would say don't contact her, after I read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t146059/
badbrit Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Wow, I just read that old post to. Yeah dont contact her because you are not sensible nor mature enough to see how you caused her to be how she has been. That interaction was shocking and you had the audacity to blame her for any of it. How screwed up is that??????
Author Whey2Big4u Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Wow, I just read that old post to. Yeah dont contact her because you are not sensible nor mature enough to see how you caused her to be how she has been. That interaction was shocking and you had the audacity to blame her for any of it. How screwed up is that?????? firts of all....excues me!!!??? although i read your response with some disgust at first...........I to read my old post, much like a diary......and I can see how I acted. True I blmed her for the response and reding it now is obviously my fault, I will not deny that.......but in my defense at the time I was going through some very very tough ****, not just about her. I was still angry at the lack of respect she had given me and some of the things she had said during the break up... this was the last contact I had with her, since then its been NC but thank you for the sharp toungue of truth badbrit. I can see my immaturity then, but since I have turelly grown, but i still got lots of work left I am now ok with her and other people, i know shes not really dating this guy, shes seeing him (thank you facebook and mutual friends....which i never ask but they tell me anyway lol) I know myself its not the right tome to contact her, something tells me ill know myself when it it the right time, but I was wondering what everyone else thinks. something tells me it wont be for another year. I am somewhat jeouleous of her since she can easily meet people and start things with them (moslty the sex part lol, but what ever) I on the other hand since i dedicate alot of time to work (which will be worth it in the end!!!) I dont have time to meet new poeple....ughhh
nowhereman82 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Well the reason we said not to contact her is that all she remembers is that last convo she had with you. I don't imagine a warm response when you try to contact her. Also you probably shouldn't contact her until it doesnt bother you who she is sleeping with, as it's none of your business now. I noticed in your old post how young you are. You were saved from a mistake to be honest, to be married at 21 to the girl you were dating since you were like 15? During this point in your life you are going to grow and change a WHOLE lot and you and your ex would most likely grow apart or into people that the other didn't like. Spend your time dating and developing your career. Way better use of your time
bish Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 When is the right time to contact....how long after NC should there be contact? Im not talking about a three month fling with a two week break up, Im talking six years and engaged. Itll be a year now, but approximatly four five months NC. Or should I just contiue about my life as is and forget. and maybe one day shell contact me Shes with someone now Thats the key right there. You let her be. Contact to get her back and try to break up her relationship are only done so for your own selfish reasons. How would you feel if you were dating her and someone tried to woo her away from you?
Author Whey2Big4u Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Well the reason we said not to contact her is that all she remembers is that last convo she had with you. I don't imagine a warm response when you try to contact her. Also you probably shouldn't contact her until it doesnt bother you who she is sleeping with, as it's none of your business now. I noticed in your old post how young you are. You were saved from a mistake to be honest, to be married at 21 to the girl you were dating since you were like 15? During this point in your life you are going to grow and change a WHOLE lot and you and your ex would most likely grow apart or into people that the other didn't like. Spend your time dating and developing your career. Way better use of your time I see,.......If our lives should cross again we would have to see if we are still compaitbale in a NEW relationship, as who we are now. But I am not holding my breathe or sitting around waiting for it I do however hold onto some small hope, its what keeps me going thnk you guys for your advice
Angel1111 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I think plenty of time has passed and if you want to contact her, I think you should. You never know if she's wanting you to contact her or not, and if she's anything like me, she'll never pick up that phone. Plus, if things ended badly between the two of you, if nothing else maybe it can be healing for you both. Even if she seems uninterested at first, if she's really unhappy with her current bf, she'll think about your call for weeks to come and that may cause her to make a decision. Just leave it open for her and don't have any expectations.
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