mistresswchildren Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Alright, so there will be no more contact whatsoever between xMM and myself unless it goes through court. I promised myself that. Now, I have to ask. I know he will be home (as in the Continental US) in mere days. I know that I need to give him enough time to take care of my daughters medical insurance, but as all of you know he has had ample time already. I think that I am going to give him until the end of the month. I will then petition for a violation of a court order. We may have to go back to court, but at this points all bets are off. I do not know that he means anything that he says, and I know that I have to do what is in the best interest of my children. I feel that it may even be advantageous for me to bring him back to court. This way it will be documented that he had over a year to insure our daughter and he did not. I think the courts might frown upon it, but again I'm not sure. I guess I'm just looking for opinions.
jj33 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 The end of the month is next week. If you have doubts that he will follow through then court is the best option. He can ignore you but he cant ignore the long arm of the law. If you think he will do the right thing, then his money is better spent on paying the insurance premiums than on lawyers. But I dont know much about these matters, others may have more relevant experience. Hang in there. You have been down a tough road and you are doing great.
astra77 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 MWC, you daughters insurance is a pressing issue, and on that requires discussion with the MM as they are his kids too. End of the month and thats it, wait no longer, he has had WAY too much time to address this pressing issue. Maybe send him a quick email to warn him of your intentions, atleast then he cant say you sprung it on him out of no where, and you can also print a copy for the judge. Make it short and to the point " as previously discussed with you, (insert issue here) but as you have failed to do anything up to this point, i will have no choice but to take this matter to court if you have not arranged a satisfactory out come by the end of the month. Send it today Just a question, does he pay you child support etc, are you getting EVERYTHING that you are entitled to from MM ?
Author mistresswchildren Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 I have had to fight with him for it, but yes, I now get the correct amount of child support from him. My son is insured for medical and dental. My daughter is entitled to the same. The only thing that I am waiting on is the medical insurance for my baby girl. We will see what happens. I do not believe that it will even cost me anything to file a petition. The largest issue is that he is in direct violation of an agreement that HE SIGNED. He was aware of all stipulations. He just hasn't moved on it yet. I think he will officially be home by Wednesday. I don't know if I will hear from him, and if I do all I want to talk about is the necessary facts. I know he will try to get me into some long drawn out conversation about our past relationship, but I'm not going there. I want him gone! I have finally realized that. As long as he stays in his state and I stay in mine, we will be phenomenal. He will not scar me any longer, and he will NEVER scar these children. Thank you all again for your love and support. Sometimes I think that if I didn't have LS to vent, I may have never come to some of these conclusions on my own. This situation is toxic. Unless you are in a relationship with a MM that is already in the process of getting a divorce, it isn't worth it. You lose yourself. You lose your focus. I have realized I am in love with someone more than him, that would be ME and my children. I deserve better. My children deserve more than any one in the world can provide, but I will provide them with all the love that my heart possesses. Until I am happy, I cannot make anyone else happy. I cannot teach my children to love themselves if I cannot learn to love ME again.
astra77 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 MWC - you are so strong, and you have helped me so much sine i joined LS. I am glad you recieve the financial support you are entitled to. This does help somewhat, although physical support would be a help to. You are clearly out of the fog and have your babies best interests at heart, this is very clear, NEVER doubt yourself on this matter. Your MM has to wake up and smell the coffee, he made babies with you and MUST be responsible for them until they turn 18. Just because he went back to the W doesnt mean for a second that he can walk away from his responsibilites. As i said before, to be fair, give him a warning re: going to court, BUT if he decides to ignore you, well then thats his chop and off to court you go. You are a breath of fresh air MWC and given the bulls**t you have had to cop from this guy, you have handled it very well. Stay strong and move forward in the direction you have chosen, it may not be easy, but you will get there in the end, i can feel it. (((((((((((((((((((((H U G S ))))))))))))))))))))))
SnowWhite924 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I work for an attorney who practices family law and I know for a fact, here in NY, you can petition for child support, custody, enforcement, etc...on your own without an attorney. Not sure about other states but would assume it's the same. So, call up your family court and find out how to proceed. You're daughter is entitled so go for it!
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