TheUnmasked Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Okay, so to give a little background, I’ve been dating this girl for a little over two and a half months. Now, in the beginning of our relationship, I was on top of myself; meaning I wasn’t being a wussy about not seeing her in a week intervals, and I wasn’t freaking out if she didn’t pick up my phone calls and didn’t call back for a day or two. Honestly, I can say the beginning of the relationship was the best; I enjoyed it, yet I didn’t obsess over anything. Now, it’s all different. I find myself getting easily jealous over the things she tells me, such as when she has guy friends over, or if she goes out places and doesn’t think to invite me. Especially if she has a bunch of friends over her house and doesn’t think to ask me if I want to go. It also bothers me that recently, she’s been hanging out with all her friends all the time, and not caring if we don’t talk a few days; because it was never like that; she used to be the one who says “I miss you” whenever we didn’t talk. I’ve also been finding myself being the only one who makes plans, and its starting to irritate me. So this is my question, guys. What can I do to get rid of this jealousy and this “obsession”, and I use obsession very lightly. I was never like this, and I wish I could feel like I did in the beginning of our relationship; carefree. My other question is, how can I let her know I want her to make plans, without sounding like I’m desperate to see her? I’ve told her once or twice before, and she said she will, but never does.
verve Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Aaaaaah, you was more laid back then because you wasn't emotionally attached. Remember the only person who can give their power away is YOU. If the President or a supermodel walked into a room you were in, they wouldn't have anymore power than you in that situation unless you mentally gave them that power. Awarded it to them. You've just got to be strong willed, you'll find being too 'wussy' or 'goofy' will repel a girl eventually so stick to what worked in the relationship to start with. And lean back, if you feel her pull back, pull back some more and NEVER give your power away, thats for you.
reservoirdog1 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 To be honest... I think you're more into her than she is to you. You've been dating for two and a half months. I don't know if you guys have had "The Talk" yet; you referred to it as a "relationship" but that doesn't really clarify the issue. However, 2.5 months is a fair chunk of time for things between you to be still just "casual". And that being the case, I'd find it a little weird if the woman I was in a relationship with invited a mixed group of people over to her home, and didn't think to invite me. (Unless it was all girls... that's different.) But that, coupled with not calling you much, not seeming to care if she doesn't hear from you for a few days, not making time to see you... she's not terribly emotionally invested in you. If she was, she'd be FINDING ways to see you. If you want to work on things with her some more, I suggest you don't call her for, say, a week -- and see if she calls you during that time. Make plans with friends. Stop being available. And when she DOES call, act breezy, casual and friendly -- don't be pissy and annoyed at her for not calling you. The last thing you want is to be the guy who was hanging by the phone, waiting for her to call.
Author TheUnmasked Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 Okay, some great pointers there. I do admit that I probably am giving her power, and that’s part of the problem.. As for the second response, I forgot to mention a few details. When I am with her, I don’t doubt she is emotionally interested in me. She’s quick to hold my hand and caress it while holding it; and she apparently likes to be in my arms and puts her head on my chest, her hand in my back pocket; grabs me with both hands on my face and pulls me to kiss me with a big smile; you know, all those little things that show affection. She's also let slip on the phone once "Well I deal with it, because I love you". She also gets mad when I joke around that I'm going to start smoking. What I’m getting at, is I think I’m just freaking out that it’s summer, and I don’t see her as much. But the fact that she sometimes invited friends over, (usually her female cousin and two guys that I know), and didn’t invite me. She invited me once, but that was when we first starting messing around. I guess the not being available will help; I just wasn’t sure that since she’s been less available, if I were to start being less available, that it would just cause my boat to drift far from the dock the point where it won't be able to get back. I don’t know if I’m just giving her power and worrying about every time I don’t see her and know she went out with friends (jealousy), or in fact she is less available. Any thoughts?
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