datdarkman Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Good morning all. I had to come on here and type about this because I can't sleep. I had been dating this guy for almost two years now. When we first met, I really fell for him. And after some time passed, the subject of sex came up. He told me that he was versatile and I'm a top. But I wanted to try to be versatile with him because I wanted to be with him. Well, i did it for a little while. But we had to stop. I developed an abscess in my colon which caused me massive pain. And after the abscess was taken care of, i developed an ulcer on my colon which required surgery to take care of. Now he was there for me thru out the entire time that I was in and out of the hospital. But going thru those pains put a hold on our sex life. I couldn't be penetrated at all. This going thru the abscess and ulcer last 9 months. I had my final surgery (to take care of the ulcer) on Dec 20 of last year. The doctor told me that it would take a year for my colon to heal. And my boyfriend told me that we would get thru this. Well just a few months ago, he started complaining that it was not fair that he couldn't make love to me or that he couldn't penetrate me. And I could understand that, so I told him to be patient but that i couldn't rush this. Well he kept bringing that issue up till now. We had a spades party last Wed for some friends of ours. And that night, i ended up getting smashed (from drinking too much lol) and passed out. I woke up the next morning and called him at his job to talk to him. He told me that one of our friends (I'll call him Jason), needed a ride home after the party and that he took him home. But when my lover and Jason got to Jason's house, they ended up fooling around together. No sex, just foreplay. But my lover stated that he wanted to penetrate Jason, but Jason didn't want to go thru with it due to the fact that he and I are close. But then Jason changed his mind and said he would go thru with it, if I was not told of the matter. Well my lover said that he was going to tell me anyway. Which he did. So I was shocked and pissed. I asked him if he was remorseful or sorry. He said no. He said that he did it because he wanted to show me that he was sexually frustrated and that he thought that him doing that would help push me to try to let him penetrate me. But it didn't. And he seemed shocked that I mad about it. He wasn't concerned that he hurt me with his actions. We talked for the next few days about the situation. And I thought that I could get past it and continue the relationship but I can't. I can't see myself taking a chance with my body to please him, and he doesn't give a damn about my feelings or the fact that he hurt me. How could he expect me to not think about it. Well we had a final talk on Sat evening up at his job. And he asked me if i was willing to compromise and take baby-steps to find out what my comfort/uncomfort level is, I told him no. I can't take a chance with my body for someone who will pull an act like that and not have any remorse about doing it. So he told me that he was moving out (since we lived together). And he did. And part of me misses him. A big part. But the other part of me is still hurt by the fact that he did what he did and that he's not remorseful or sorry about the fact. Well tonite he's coming over to get the rest of his stuff that he left. And we're going to talk. Part of me wants to find a way to work this out. He was there when I needed him. But the other part of me wants this to end because he's not remorseful at all. So I don't know what I'm going to say to him. Any advice you guys can give me before I talk to him tonite would be greatly appreciated.
nowhereman82 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Seems to me he is very selfish to want to risk your physical health. That is not a good sign of any future things to come. There are sex toys he could of penetrated if he wasn't satisfied with oral or hand jobs. Could hold it for him in a manner that would make it seem like he was with you As a guy you know how...well guys, are about sex. So it's also hard to judge this. He was basically taking care of a "itch" but his emotions are still with you and he was honest enough to not want to hide it....but then again it seemed like he told you in order to give you guilt and to pressure you into risking your health. In matter of fact, he sounds like a jerk. Drop him. The words will come naturally when it's that time.
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