kimatkim Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 my ex asked for second chance, and told me to observe him and he is totally changing, always home, and not contact his ex after we broke up. His ex and me both have his kids. He told me I am a good woman, homey mom and always watch over others, take care of other people, which means giving. But his ex controling, demanding, do nothing and always use his money and they are 100% over. we have sex once a while usually twice a week. But his ex told me once they have really strong chemistry and everytime they met they had sex. And I asked him where he was last night, he said the kid could not sleep, and he has to bring him to the crib in his ex house and put him down there to sleep. and then she asked for sex and they did sex, because she asked it. What is that all about?
Angel1111 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 It's about you walking away and not wasting your time trying to figure it out. His actions do not match his words and the fact that he would have sex with anyone just because they asked doesn't say a lot about his character, or about how incredibly stupid he must think you are. So what has changed? Seems like nothing, except that he doesn't seem to understand that he just blew his second chance. You're going to spend a lot of time trying to figure out if he loves you more than her, why he would be with someone he calls controlling and demanding.....blah, blah, blah. Who cares who he really loves and who cares why he would be with her? He risked his relationship with you so that tells you everything you need to know - that you're not that important to him.
carhill Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Time to get his child support and visitation allotment worked out
saams Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 just tell him he is an idiot and completly cut him out of your life.. people like that are not worth having around imo.
Author kimatkim Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 What kind of man is this? He can just had sex with me today and next day do with her. I don't understand. He told me he loves me so much, want to marry me, etc. Then his ex just called me said he told him the same thing.
carhill Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 You've been sucked into the Bermuda triangle. Seriously. You've described a psychological triangulation perfectly. Get out now. Trust me. Your sanity and the health of your child depends on it.
Author kimatkim Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 What is psychological triangulation? This kind of man has what kind of traits? What make him like this?
carhill Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Think of your child's father as one point, his ex as the other point, and you as the third point. Look at the interaction between you all; it's like a big, ugly triangle. The fact that the ex calls you and talks about their supposed relationship cements the points and dynamic. I'll bet this guy loves it. The perfect ego feed. Re-read post number three. It's some really good, yet simple, advice
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