Walk Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 So.. It's my H's day off today. We only have sex now on his days off. And only one of those. I'd really like 2-4 times a week... but he's on libidio killing medication. I can understand his lack of desire.. still frustrating to me, but I can understand it. Anyway, I'm joking with him about having sex with him tonight and he keeps reacting like I'm telling him I'm going to poo on him and mash it all over his body. Then he tells me that I'm going to have to really work to show him that I want to have sex with him... not just 3 minutes of effort. (ouch) Last time I was unemployed (college full time), he about made me jump to the moon and back to "show" him I was serious about having sex. And even then it was hit or miss with him. If you're an old timer on here, then maybe you remember those posts? If you're not... no big deal. But I swear I could be a pro porn star after all the work I've put into turning this guy on when I'm unemployed. When I'm employed, totally different scenario. Sex is easy and fun. I'm unemployed and our sex lives go to hell. Now granted, libido killing pills, he's under stress from finances. However, I was able to get a thousand dollars to help with bills this month (bills should be less then that). So we're set for all of September. Not that that is great, but I thought it would relieve a some of the pressure he's been feeling. It doesn't seem to have done that. Anyway... I don't want to bust my ass to get him interested enough to deign to have sex with me. I know my attitude is lazy, arrogant, and self-centered... but after he reacts like sex with me is unwanted it kind of kills my desire to really put effort into making it happen. I guess what I'm saying is I don't really feel like breakin' out the cristin bella moves. If you were in this scenario, what would you do? You love him, he went back to work at a job he utterly dispises, hates to his core, just to ensure WE had money to live until I get a job. Would you do whatever you could to make your husband happy? Would you tempt him into sex and then cream him with poo? Would you provocatively suggest he shove it up his own ass? What would you do?
Enema Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Could be his passive aggressive way of showing you that he resents having to work there while you "get what you want"? I would probably ignore him and just get myself off using his toothbrush, then get a job.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I would go out and find a job myself? Sorry Walk, I haven't read any of your threads, but I don't think your husband had wanted both of your sex lives to end up like this. He's the only person in the household to work. Couple that with libido killing medication, it's no wonder he can't get it up. Also he's financially stressing for the both of you, and it had kept him too busy to just jump into the sack and have it rough. I think he would rather lay down and just drift off to sleep. What do you do most of the days that he's working? Are you a stay at home housewife? Maybe you need to liven things up in your social calender to preoccupy yourself?
Ocean-Blue Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Walk, I'm a bit confused. So he went back to work because you became unemployed? So what does he do when you are employed? No one should be told to "work for it". That's insulting. But maybe he's not really communicating what he's really feeling?
Author Walk Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 What do you do most of the days that he's working? Are you a stay at home housewife? Maybe you need to liven things up in your social calender to preoccupy yourself? I've been spending a most of my time on getting a job. I've put in 12 resumes this month (last 2 weeks), I've had 3 interviews (two were 2 hours long, one was 1 hour long). I volunteer at an old folks home 1 day a week, but I have to get info together at home for that class. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I grocery shop. I try to take care of the "home" so he doesn't have to do anything. I take odd jobs to bring in cash. And I'm studying for a certification in my field. I've been unemployed for 2.5 months. I've had 7 interviews in that time, plus 3 phone interviews, no job offers. Not one. I would love to get a job. I would be frickin' elated to get a job. Just not happening.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I've been spending a most of my time on getting a job. I've put in 12 resumes this month (last 2 weeks), I've had 3 interviews (two were 2 hours long, one was 1 hour long). I volunteer at an old folks home 1 day a week, but I have to get info together at home for that class. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I grocery shop. I try to take care of the "home" so he doesn't have to do anything. I take odd jobs to bring in cash. And I'm studying for a certification in my field. I've been unemployed for 2.5 months. I've had 7 interviews in that time, plus 3 phone interviews, no job offers. Not one. I would love to get a job. I would be frickin' elated to get a job. Just not happening. What's your field of expertise?
Author Walk Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 Walk, I'm a bit confused. So he went back to work because you became unemployed? So what does he do when you are employed? No one should be told to "work for it". That's insulting. But maybe he's not really communicating what he's really feeling? Well.. kind of a long story. He worked for almost 3 years to put me through college (hated his job). The deal was, he'd pay for our expenses (college was paid for) and when I graduated he could go back to school. He kept working for another year, then around February he quit his job. He was unemployed from then til June when I quit my job. I had 4 grand in the bank. thought it would last at least 3 months. It didn't come close. He was wishy-washy about going back to school... then when my job got really bad I talked to him about quitting. He supported me on it. So what do I do about the sex issue? If he wants me to put a bunch of effort into getting him interested in sex, what do I do? What is a good rational, logical, argument for why its not okay to expect that from your SO? Remember, he's a man and men are pigs. haha I'm just kidding.
carhill Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 What would you do? Masturbate in front of him with the biggest dildo I could find and then roll over and go to sleep? Hey, it works for my wife Then again, your poo idea does sound interesting
Author Walk Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 What's your field of expertise? IT - programmer. I'm starting to think they harbor sterotypes against women in the IT field. Specially when all my interviews are with men in their 50s. I've only seen one company that had a female programmer employed.
Author Walk Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 Masturbate in front of him with the biggest dildo I could find and then roll over and go to sleep? Hey, it works for my wife Then again, your poo idea does sound interesting HA! Your wife does that?!? That is so amazingly passive agressive it's almost sheer brilliance. .... does it turn you on though? The masturbating with the dildo..
whichwayisup Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 libido killing pills What pills is he taking if you don't mind me asking? And how long does he have to be on them? I don't understand the begging for sex, work for it - kind of attitude, but anyway.. Definately do the masterbation thing. Put a sexy top on, no bra, skirt and NO underwear. Wander around, drop something and then bend over infront of him..That should get him going..Or at best, start to get him going.
jerbear Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 IT - programmer. I'm starting to think they harbor sterotypes against women in the IT field. Specially when all my interviews are with men in their 50s. I've only seen one company that had a female programmer employed. I believe there are stereotypes. You do know that the first programmer was Ada. Anyway... if you have a Wii, I suggest taking his wee and shake it. How about this... you're in IT so you know what Jolt is, mix some jolt with coffee and "sock" it to him. If that doesn't work, oh well.. oh make sure he can take Jolt and caffine.
Author Walk Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 What pills is he taking if you don't mind me asking? And how long does he have to be on them? 1.) Two kinds: blood pressure and antidepressent. 2.) 'Til he dies....? Not sure. I don't understand the begging for sex, work for it - kind of attitude, but anyway.. Definately do the masterbation thing. Put a sexy top on, no bra, skirt and NO underwear. Wander around, drop something and then bend over infront of him..That should get him going..Or at best, start to get him going. Hmmm... that sounds good. I should probably shave before doing that, right? Or do you think that might heighten the appeal? Mostly I'm frustrated because he was jokin about having variety, and picking up the cashier girl (not someone known) for "variety". Combine that with the "work for it" and I get a bit prickly. I got hit on at the store for the first time in ages the other day. I immediately ran the other direction, but still, it was kind of an ego boost. I guess I'm not the dumpy ugly girl I see in the mirror... or maybe the guy was talking to his cantelop... not sure. And all my friends move outta state because there are no jobs here. I'm lonely.
whichwayisup Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Don't say that about yourself! You are beautiful and putting yourself down serves NO purpose! If you wanna shave it, go for it, but I say go natural...Do a trim instead.
carhill Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 HA! Your wife does that?!? That is so amazingly passive agressive it's almost sheer brilliance. .... does it turn you on though? The masturbating with the dildo.. Not as good as a corselet, garter and heels, but, yeah, watching a woman masturbate with vigor does get the blood flowing a bit Makes me want to polish up on my cunnilingus skills just to get back at her
JohnnyBlaze Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 IT - programmer. I'm starting to think they harbor sterotypes against women in the IT field. Specially when all my interviews are with men in their 50s. I've only seen one company that had a female programmer employed. I don't know where you live, but if you're anywhere near Toronto, Canada, PM me. The company I work for (a software development company) has been expanding over the past year and has no problem whatsoever hiring female programmers (not just in theory - they DO hire women as programmers). They're all permanent hires, too - nobody's on contract. ...although those Christina Bella moves you talked about could be fun, too!
Author Walk Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 I believe there are stereotypes. You do know that the first programmer was Ada. Anyway... if you have a Wii, I suggest taking his wee and shake it. How about this... you're in IT so you know what Jolt is, mix some jolt with coffee and "sock" it to him. If that doesn't work, oh well.. oh make sure he can take Jolt and caffine. Ha! Does the overload of caffine short circuit his section Y, making him more apt to hire women? And if he can't take Jolt and caffine... doesn't that mean a new position will open? After the funeral of course... But then I'd be twice as likely to be hired.
Author Walk Posted August 18, 2008 Author Posted August 18, 2008 If you wanna shave it, go for it, but I say go natural...Do a trim instead. I meant my legs and pits. Update: So I wandered around with nothing but panties on (after a shower and shave of course) and intruded on hubby's video gamming. He politely declined. I ignored him for about 10 minutes and busied myself with "other" things. Anyway.. I'll just leave it at, I got laid! Woo hoo! Now if I can just get a job...................... JohnnyBlaze: That sounds great! But I live too far away. Wonder if Canadian managers are more progressive then american IT manangers?
Lauriebell82 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I meant my legs and pits. Update: So I wandered around with nothing but panties on (after a shower and shave of course) and intruded on hubby's video gamming. He politely declined. I ignored him for about 10 minutes and busied myself with "other" things. Anyway.. I'll just leave it at, I got laid! Woo hoo! Now if I can just get a job...................... JohnnyBlaze: That sounds great! But I live too far away. Wonder if Canadian managers are more progressive then american IT manangers? Stress, especially due to finances, can kill sexual desire...as can anything you are worried about. When my bf works until 10 pm when tax season starts, we wont have sex until the weekend usually. Glad you got some though, just keep yourself looking sexy and try to turn him on as best you can! Oh, also be open to trying new things too. Be "adventurous" and suggest doing some new things that you haven't done before. A little variety might send the soldier into battle more often.
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