taylor Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I am not fighting over any woman..sorry.This is not even my wife. I don't love her. I love my wife,believe it or not after the whole experience this has mad me appreciate her even more. I really didn't mean it when I said "If you love her, fight." I only said that to "flush out" your feelings for the MW. So, what was the MW to you? Fun and games on the side? I think you should start running. One more question..After you wife finds out you cheated on her, are you going to fight for her?
wildsoul Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 This reminds me of how my brother killed 3 birds with 1 stone after discovering a work colleage of hers had been having an affair with my brother's wife. My brother beat the crap out of the guy (1 bird) in front of my sister-in-law (2 birds) and sent him home to his wife with a face that looked like hamburger and some explaining to do (3 birds.) Not that I condone violence in any way. But seriously, the guy should have factored this into his risk assessment when having the A.
troubadour Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Hey, would you say that to a female poster in the same situation as Spyders? Because many MW or OW don't want to face the betrayed wife just as much as this guy. Whichwayisup, I think that if you decide to sleep with someone's wife/husband you should have enough moral courage to face the BS if they want to talk to you... regardless of your gender. I am not talking about any form of violent confrontation here... but the emotions can run quite high in situations like this. In my case all four affairs in which I was OM started with one night stand so it was not that I tried to romance someone's wife. All of these four women had a history of extra marrital affairs before so to tell you the true I don't feel responsible for contributing in any way to problems in their marriages. If it was not me it would have been someone else. There were man in lives of these women before me and there were men after me... they just belonged to this kind of women. BUT if any of their husbands would like to talk to me... I would talk to him. I would not run away or lay low. And I would not go to police. It is a matter of having some basic decency and some basic self respect.
Owl Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 It doesn't sound like this H wants to TALK with this guy. And if the OM in my case had ever attempted a face to face discussion or meeting with me, it would have been BAD. If this BH is threatening to beat up the OM...its a serious threat, and should be taken accordingly. He'd be an idiot to meet up with someone who's threatened to whoop his butt. (I won't discuss what it took to get involved with a MW in the first place...) His best bet is to get out of the situation so that it doesn't escalate...and if he is notified of any further threats, he should go to the police to protect himself.
whichwayisup Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Whichwayisup, I think that if you decide to sleep with someone's wife/husband you should have enough moral courage to face the BS if they want to talk to you... regardless of your gender. I am not talking about any form of violent confrontation here... but the emotions can run quite high in situations like this. I completely agree with you..It's just sometimes when a MM posts in this section he gets handled differently than if a MW had posted, that's all I meant. If one chooses to cheat, they have to be prepared to deal with the fallout and the consquences of their choices and actions, reguardless of their gender.
You'reasian Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Sux for you. I trust that the woman I am with will tell me that she is NOT married if she truly isn't - then again, that's taking a risk in itself. When I become involved with a woman, I let her know that I am single and have no intentions of getting involved with a married/attached woman. If I even get those vibes, I'll walk away. Can't be with someone who you can't trust.
whichwayisup Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 This guy knew she married all along. And he's married too.
mclovin Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Unfortunetly, those are one of the things that come along with affairs aside from basic horrors. Yes, there is also a risk of the S/O finding out and wanting to get physically violent with you. Obviously, this affair is over. My advice to you is to terminate any future phone calls, meetings, etc. Also, keep your wits about you. Should her H approach you, do not be hostile. Try to understand his pov. Avoid violence as best you can. Does she know where you live/work/hang out? That could be bad itself since her H may force that info out of her to find you. For the next few weeks and maybe months, tell a trusted friend or family member where you're going to be at ALL times. I'm not trying to freak you out here, but you don't know who you're quite dealing with and what state of mind they're in at that given moment.
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