Suonarelamusica Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Lately I have been so sad, because I am terrified that I ruined my chances with "the one." I oscillate between torturing myself over my past mistakes, and longing to share my life with someone. Sometimes I think that even though I'll never love anyone else as much as this person I lost, that I would like to share my life with someone because I am so lonely and have so much love inside me. The problem is, that I'm afraid that I really missed the boat. I'm 29, and I graduated from college years ago. Even if there is someone out there I would love, I'm scared that I'll never have a chance to find them. Like I said in another post, I really love latin men. I studied abroad in Mexico my senior year of college, and fell in love with my best friend down there, but that's another story that I won't get into now. I didn't choose to study down there expressly to meet a guy, but it WAS a golden opportunity to meet someone. I'm scared that at 29, with college behind me, and the fact that I'm in the USA right now, that my chance is gone. Even if I were to return to mexico for a substantial amount of time, either to work or to go to grad school, it wouldn't be like college. I still a lot about my best friend, but I can't make him love me, just wish he did. Sometimes I think that no one else will ever make me happy but sometimes when I feel lonely I wish that I could share my life with someone. Sometimes, I imagine what it would be like to have someone to take me dancing, to hold my hand during scary scenes at the movies, to dry my tears when I am sad and share my joy and listen to my music. Someone to go hiking or to the beach with (this reads like a personal ad but I don't mean for it to)... people aren't meant to be alone like this. I would like to have someone to go swimming with, play volleyball with, a companion. I was so scared that latinos would never take me seriously as a girlfriend because I'm north American but I've talked to guys who swear it isn't true, and I believe them. The problem is, that I'm scared that I'll never have another chance to find someone at this stage in life. If you can help me thank you.
D-Jam Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 You are unfortunately like so many women I see out there at your age. You loved someone, it didn't work out, and now you fear no one else will ever make you feel that way again. You need to wake up and realize no one will make you feel like he did, BUT...someone else will come along and make you just as happy, but it will feel different. You need to put the past to rest. ALSO...while it doesn't show in your post, don't fall into that mess so many women do where the biological clock is ticking loudly and you fear facing family functions "still single". Nothing turns off more guys than a woman who comes out all desperate to marry and have kids because she fears age. We men then wonder if she's into us, or just wants any guy to be a wallet and sperm bank. Take some time...heal the wounds...file that ex into the past...and move forward. Take baby steps. Meet guys, do things, be sociable. Eventually another one will come along and make you happy...thus you won't be clinging on to the past.
Author Suonarelamusica Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 You are unfortunately like so many women I see out there at your age. You loved someone, it didn't work out, and now you fear no one else will ever make you feel that way again. You need to wake up and realize no one will make you feel like he did, BUT...someone else will come along and make you just as happy, but it will feel different. You need to put the past to rest. ALSO...while it doesn't show in your post, don't fall into that mess so many women do where the biological clock is ticking loudly and you fear facing family functions "still single". Nothing turns off more guys than a woman who comes out all desperate to marry and have kids because she fears age. We men then wonder if she's into us, or just wants any guy to be a wallet and sperm bank. Take some time...heal the wounds...file that ex into the past...and move forward. Take baby steps. Meet guys, do things, be sociable. Eventually another one will come along and make you happy...thus you won't be clinging on to the past. Thanks for writing back and taking time to read my post. I'm really grateful but I'm not good at expressing myself I guess. What scares me, apart from never loving someone else... is that even if there WERE someone else for me, I am afraid that my opportunity to meet someone has passed me by. What I'm saying is that I've always loved latin guys, and going to university in Mexico was the opportunity of my lifetime to meet someone, because I was in the culture that I loved so much and because in college you're in close proximity to loads and loads of guys, every single day. Even when I return to mexico I don't see how I can meet someone new. I'm going to Spain this coming fall, btw and it's a dream come true... but only to study. I won't meet anyone there that I love as much as my friend, but it will be my last stint in school before I go to graduate school which I won't do right away. I think I'm just panicking, like, I should be married, I should be done with grad school, I've made a mess of my life... I am so scared. But thanks for listening to me and writing me... it was really nice of u.
Author Suonarelamusica Posted August 19, 2008 Author Posted August 19, 2008 Nearly forgot to mention but money doesn't mean a thing to me... I don't care if a guy has two pesos to rub together, I just want someone loving and caring and romantic... that's all.
A.G.Doren Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 If you must have a latin man than go where the latin men are its that simple.
nopainnogain Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Nearly forgot to mention but money doesn't mean a thing to me... I don't care if a guy has two pesos to rub together, I just want someone loving and caring and romantic... that's all. You shouldnt have a problem finding a caring guy.
lazlow99 Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 I'm at college/university at the moment and since I've been away from home I've met more girls where I work part time than at college. Just go where people go, make new friends at work, classes, anywhere, and you are bound to meet someone.
CommitmentPhobe Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 This is a bad way for you to think. Do you go in to exam worrying that you haven't done enough and have already failed? Only to find out later you passed. Lots of people think like this. Try to take steps towards getting what you want and stop worrying so much abouit your age and whether it will work out. Top athletes for instance don't focus on the win or the loss, only the next point or stride....there are no guarantees in life.
littlekitty Posted August 20, 2008 Posted August 20, 2008 Why oh why do all women hit 29 and think they've missed the boat! You can be happily single and 30! I wouldn't have minded a jot hitting 30 and being happy, single and independant. You can meet the man of your dreams any where, any time. You sure as hell don't need to be in college to do it. It might at work, out with friends, in the supermarket, internet dating... what ever. The first thing you need to do is stop dwelling on the past. Stop dwelling on your 'need' to find a man. Get on with YOUR life. Live your life, do the things that make you happy in YOU. Be happiness, find happiness in yourself and the rest will follow....
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