Trialbyfire Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Just this past June I had a long heart to heart with my cousin who was getting married and he was telling me I need to get my life together and that Im not getting any younger and don't I want a wife and children or do I want to be alone. And this guy was always a tough guy, not a sensitive clown like myself I remember back a few years ago when a friend of mine was in law school and he got his gf pregnant and he was wrestling whether he should marry her (there was never a question of keeping the baby...there are still some people where certain things are off limits and its understood). We would talk of it often and he eventually married her and they have two kids today. So yeah of course guys talk about it. Do most of us define ourselves by our relationships with the opposite sex like many women do..no...but its not like we're made of ice. Jake, your examples are few and far between. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that men are heartless and insensitive, although there are some who are, just like there are some women who are as well. I'm saying they don't talk to each other on a regular basis about their relationships, or at least the core of their deepest feelings. This just isn't a standard man thing to do. It isn't that I perceive it to be a bad man thing to do. It just is. As to whether or not women define themselves by their relationships, if this means do I prioritize a man, when he's in my life? You better believe it and THAT won't change.
vonerik012 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 More on the alpha male... http://www.attractology.com/innergame/what_is_an_alpha_male.php What is an Alpha Male? The definition of an alpha male is a dominant male among other males. Observed in primates and dog packs, there are certain males that not only lead the others but are given priority over food and female mate selection. This phenomena is also observed in humans. Yes, fellows there are alpha males out there and they continue to enjoy a plethora of different women. In fact, nearly 10% of males (alpha males) sleep with 90% of viable females. (Do you realize alpha males have lots of sex with lots of women? Or does that not fit your fantasy?) They also want a hot woman, not necessarily a career woman. It makes no difference. General characteristics of the alpha male Solid Internal beliefs (self and world) The alpha male knows who he is down to the core. He may not be the smartest or most successful, but he believes so strongly in his way of thinking that other ways simply appear irrelevant. Whether he is a republican or democrat, Christian or Atheist, his convictions will be strong enough to convince you (at least momentarily) that he is right. The alphas decisions are thoughtful yet usually come to him instantly. If he has a choice to make, he rarely moves back and forth weighing and wavering in indecisiveness. Once a decision is made by the alpha male, there is little questioning on whether or not it was the right decision. He simply assumes it is right and moves on to more important matters. Because of his strong beliefs and convictions, he is generally outspoken on such matters and not afraid to let someone knows how he feels.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I see many women complain how they can't find a decent man, but yet they turn away loads of decent men because they don't come packaged the way they want them. How do you know these me nare truly "decent"? I have run into alot of men that have self decribed themselves as "nice guys", when they weren't really nice guys at all. Also, are you attracted to every "decent" woman you run into? I bet you arne't. Women aren't any different.
carhill Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Also, are you attracted to every "decent" woman you run into? I bet you aren't. Women aren't any different. IME, certainly not every one, but decency, compassion and a loving nature (about life in general) are really high on my attractive qualities list. TBH, when I was single, I met way too many women who were angry or married, most often both I don't see women as a package of physically attractive features, so my opinion should be discounted. I see women's beauty much in the same way I view art. Superficially pleasing to the eye, but of little relevance to the subject matter contained within. YMMV, of course
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 IME, certainly not every one, but decency, compassion and a loving nature (about life in general) are really high on my attractive qualities list. TBH, when I was single, I met way too many women who were angry or married, most often both I don't see women as a package of physically attractive features, so my opinion should be discounted. I see women's beauty much in the same way I view art. Superficially pleasing to the eye, but of little relevance to the subject matter contained within. YMMV, of course Actually, your opinion counts more than most.
D-Jam Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 OK...after thinking about it, I think I sent the wrong impression with my words when I talk of "alpha males". My words were more on the lines of guys who carry the "alpha male syndrome". I'm not talking about the strong confident male who is good to his woman, but more those with a raging ego, testosterone dripping out of his pores, and yet he never treats any woman as more than a lump of flesh. My experiences with acquaintances and female friends has been of many women chasing said guys with the "alpha male syndrome", and then repeatedly getting hurt. Hence why I come down on women who keep picking these guys when time after time they keep ending up getting burned for their judgment. I don't have any problem with a woman who does want a strong, confident, good man who can take a leadership role in the RL. It's what I mean when I talk to men about being their "confident self". I don't even come down on women who accidentally pick a jerk disguised as a good confident man. I more come down on how many of them seem to continually pick these guys when they could see from the start that these men were not the right ones, and worse they try to "make it work" when they clearly see it's not going to. This is why I roll my eyes when women start complaining about how they can't find a decent man, or how they can't find a man who is strong, confident, and yet good to his woman and will commit. I roll my eyes because the women I've known who made these complaints are the same women turning away a lot of what I think are decent good men, mostly because these guys didn't also carry some "x-factor", excitement, or above average looks they want. This is why I don't give a lot of sympathy for the women who complain, when I see they had plenty of opportunity to build great RLs with good men, but they didn't. So I'm not knocking women who want confidence and strength in a man. They have all the right in the world to demand that, but I do knock when I hear the complaints, because 9 out of 10 times I'll find out she's met good men but turned them away because she wanted something that really doesn't exist. A "sweet thug" or "kind rockstar".
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